As December turns to January, tradition dictates that we reflect on the past year, shed unhealthy habits, and resolve to live a healthier lifestyle. A fresh start.
Easier said than done. Parenting never ends and doesn’t make room for reflection or renewed routines.
If you think life’s too busy to take care of your physical, emotional, and mental health, you’re not alone. According to 2023 data, “48% of parents say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming compared to 26% among other adults.”[i]
According to the U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Mental Health & Well-Being of Parents, parent stressors include financial strain, time demands, children’s health, cultural pressure, and technology and social media. The advisory states, “Nearly 70% of parents say parenting is now more difficult than it was 20 years ago, with children’s use of technology and social media as the top two cited reasons.” Over half of parents of adolescents are worried their child’s social media use could lead to anxiety, depression, lower self-esteem, or being harassed or bullied. Seventy-one percent are worried it will lead to exposure to explicit content.[ii]
How do we relieve some of this pressure?
Self-care is a must.
In my early days of homeschooling, afternoons included quiet time for my kids and me. My children’s bodies no longer required naps, but I still needed a break from the constant interaction with little ones. I ushered them into their bedroom to read a book or listen to an Odyssey tape. (Yes, I said “tape.” It’s something you put into a tape recorder to hear a story. Sometimes it was a CD. This was way before streaming. But I digress.)
I went into my bedroom and prayed, read, or, sometimes, slept. I needed the time alone—to gather my thoughts and rejuvenate my body. When my children objected, I reminded them, “Quiet time is for mommy. Mommy is a better mommy after quiet time. She’s happier and more loving, which affects how she interacts with you. So quiet time is a must for mommy.” And it was true, especially on days I felt stressed about all the things.
Self-care is not selfish. Self-care assists us in being the best parents we can be. Without it, stress builds. It impacts our mental and emotional areas of life, eventually affecting our physical, spiritual, financial, and relational health. Self-care, taking care of our well-being, is the answer.
What does self-care look like?
While self-care is different for each of us, certain core elements need addressed.
Physical. What physical activity do you enjoy? An important part of my day is short walks. I walk for ten minutes around my neighborhood at least twice a day. This gets me out of my desk chair, helps clear my mind, and keeps my body mobile. To maintain a healthy heart, I work out 20-30 minutes a few times each week.
Self-care in the physical area of life also includes proper eating and sufficient sleep.
Spiritual. How do you feed this part of your life? Prayer? Meditation? Reading? Attending weekly services? While we may not all practice the same religion, nurturing this area is vital. Feeding our soul inspires creativity and nurtures hope.
Emotional. What emotions hijack your brain? When we experience out-of-control emotions, we can practice breathing exercises and set boundaries. When feeling angry or agitated, we can stop and evaluate our circumstances. Ask yourself what initiated the response and what can be done to deescalate the runaway emotions. Figure out how to prevent the same reaction in the future.
Mental. What activity brings you joy? Whether it’s reading, painting, or horseback riding, pursuing an endeavor which lifts our spirits helps our mental well-being.
Social/Relational. What social activities bring you pleasure? Whose presence warms your heart? Go for coffee with your friend. Invite colleagues over for a game night. Call the family member who makes you laugh.
Spending time with others is not self-indulgent. On the contrary, when we surround ourselves with people who pour into our lives, we treat others better.
Your Turn
Open your calendar and schedule time to evaluate your self-care habits. Carve out space to add in self-care activities. You’ll be grateful you did. And so will your children.
WORKSHOP – JAN 5, 2025
If you live close to Madison, FL, you’ll want to attend this essential workshop! Barb Winters empowers parents to navigate conversations with their children about online safety. From accidental pornography exposure to online predators, all children are at risk. Barb draws on her personal experience and professional insight to equip you with the skills necessary to address these challenges confidently. Join me for this workshop at Fellowship Church in Madison, FL.
Be sure to share this information, along with this website, with your friends.
Happy New Year!
[i] https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/parents/index.html
[ii] https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/parents-under-pressure.pdf
About the author
Barb Winters is the author of Sexpectations: Helping the Next Generation Navigate Healthy Relationships and founder of Hopeful Mom. She’s a certified mental health coach and offers one-on-one consultations for parents. For more about Barb, click "About" in the menu.