Understanding Archives

April 15, 2024March 14, 2024

Kids Judge Their Bodies – Part I

My friend Linda Stewart is our guest for this post. She talks with us about how kids (and, let’s face it, us too) judge themselves based on their bodies. I learned some things in this post, and I hope you do, too! Linda co-wrote Before the Sex Talk: A Theology of the Body Approach for Parents and Mentors and is a board member of Sexual Integrity Leaders. (I’m speaking at their summit in May 2024. I highly recommend attending!)

We’ve learned to judge ourselves and our bodies. Messages that our value is based on our physical appearance seem to circulate in the air around us! We’ve also learned to judge others the same way, and we tend to pass what we’ve learned down to our kids, even if we don’t mean to. How can we stop passing these messages onto our children and replace the damaging thoughts that shape our and our kids’ self-assessments?

March 4, 2024March 1, 2024

You Matter

My son exited his bedroom and walked toward the front door.

“Are you leaving?”

Silence.

“Are you going to work?”

He turned to me, stared, then gave a quick nod.

“Okay. . . Have a great day!”

The door slammed.

I sighed. I felt invisible, unnoticed, and depleted.

February 5, 2024January 30, 2024

Two Powerful Words

“I’m sorry.”

Ten minutes before, my mom mode soared into overdrive. My right eyebrow raised, my hip cocked, and my finger wagged. “I can’t believe you did that. You know better. I’ve told you about the dangers over and over.” I raised my voice and started in on a five-minute lecture.

January 15, 2024January 12, 2024

Social Media Safety

Most of us use social media daily. Whether we’re messaging a friend in WhatsApp, looking up how to fix something on YouTube, or scrolling our Instagram feed, we’re enjoying the benefits of social media. But, is it safe? Parents ask me whether they should allow their preteens and teens to get SnapChat, TikTok, or the latest greatest social media app. In this guest post, John DiGirolamo gives us some pointers on social media safety for our children. The following is an adapted excerpt from John’s booklet, It’s Not About the Predator: A Parent’s Guide to Internet & Social Media Safety.

Is social media safe? The short answer is no. Social media (and the rest of the internet) isn’t safe. So, if you are going to allow your kid access, be aware of the dangers and pitfalls.

December 18, 2023December 12, 2023

Kids, Let’s Talk About Sex, Part 2

Ashley Jameson of Pure Desire Ministries continues her discussion with us. Thanks, Ashley, for helping us talk about the brain, the body, and healthy boundaries.

Last time we talked about creating a culture of grace in our homes through being vulnerable and sharing our stories with our kids. It’s not always easy to create an environment where our kids know it’s safe to talk with us about anything! We so badly want our kids not to struggle. Here are a few things that helped me change the atmosphere in my house which allowed my kids to feel safer to come to me with their questions.

November 20, 2023November 16, 2023

Kids, Let’s Talk About Sex, Part 1

I’m excited to have Ashley Jameson of Pure Desire Ministries with us again. She has some practical advice for us on how to talk about sex with our children. This is part one in a two-part series.

As the mother of four kids, I recognize the fear and hesitation that exists when talking with your kids about sex. But here’s the truth: one way or another, your kids WILL learn about sex. The question to ask yourself is, “From where, or what, do you want them to learn?”

November 6, 2023November 4, 2023

Thank You

My 26-year-old had an issue but is doing well now . . .

My son wrote me a long letter explaining his predicament . . .

A family in our congregation is dealing with this right now . . .

My 31-year-old has had problems. I’m not sure how he’s doing . . .

I just found out my college-aged daughter . . .

I’m raising my grandson who deals with this problem . . .

I heard these comments while attending a conference recently. Some wanted to talk further about the issues their child had or has had with pornography. Some simply mentioned their struggle in passing. A few have children who now walk in freedom from their habit. A few are still in the midst. But all these parents and grandparents followed their initial statement with, “Thank you.”

October 2, 2023September 23, 2023

Judy Blume Answered Our Questions, Google Answers Theirs

“We must—we must—we must increase our bust!” I grew up reading Judy Blume books. This line from Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret is part of my permanent memory. In the book, Margaret learned a lot about herself and hit puberty in the span of 192 pages. She and her friends were determined to look like the girls they saw in Playboy. They vow to do exercises to increase their bust size while chanting this memorable mantra. Throughout the book they each acquire bras and come of age by finally getting their period.

I learned a lot from Judy Blume while coming of age myself.

September 18, 2023September 19, 2023

Porn Addiction Consequences from One Who’s Been There

Porn Addiction Consequences banner with dominos

I’m grateful to introduce you to Cody Moen. Cody’s story, his childhood and how his porn addiction affected his life, is touching. I love his descriptions, his authenticity and his desire to help parents and trusted adults understand the importance of talking about healthy relationships with their children. Be sure to read to the end for a resource he is passionate about.

I wish…

It’s a common phrase filled with all sorts of meaning depending on the context. Sometimes it’s said wistfully, wishing you were at the beach instead of the office. Other times in anger as someone cuts you off in traffic, wishing you could exact righteous wrath. In some cases, it’s said in sorrow and grief. In my case, it’s the latter circumstance that I say, “I wish…”

September 4, 2023September 5, 2023

Sound of Freedom

Sound of Freedom, the movie that packed theaters and reached number one at the box office quickly, is getting a lot of publicity. But the message of the movie is debated. Is it good or bad? Is it positive or negative? Does it help or harm the anti-human trafficking industry? Great questions, but not easily answered, in my opinion.

As with most topics, we can’t peg Sound of Freedom as all good or all bad. I believe those of us in the anti-human trafficking space critiqued the details of the movie more than the average American because of our knowledge on the subject.