Is Porn Bad?

It’s my distinct privilege to introduce John D Foubert. I recently read his book, Protecting Your Children from Internet Pornography, and immediately asked him to share his knowledge at Hopeful Mom. I revere him as a distinguished expert on the harms of porn. He’s been researching, writing, and speaking on this problem for over two decades. In addition to his other jobs, he serves on the Board of Directors at National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE). I’m grateful he agreed to speak with us here.

The story of how I became interested in studying the harms of pornography is anything but typical.  Many, if not most, of the authors and researchers in the area have a profound personal experience that led them to an interest in the topic.  Though I have people close to me who have gotten tangled in the sinister web of pornography, my motivation for studying pornography came originally from anger that pornography was being celebrated by a community of which I was a part.  Being the research nerd that I am, when I get angry, I do research.  Thus began a crusade of sorts to identify, document, and publicly share the many harms of pornography with as many people as I can reach.

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Young Children See Pornography, Too

Anne,* a friend of mine, contacted me recently about her daughter. That’s not unusual. Since I began Hopeful Mom, formerly Difficult Conversations, many friends have called, messaged, or emailed me concerning their children’s, spouses’, and even parents’ pornography use. I’ve heard stories of parents scrolling through their child’s history and finding pornography, stories of parents learning their child was molested by someone engaged with pornography, and stories of parents who’ve battled pornography in their home for years.

I’m grateful for this space where friends, as well as people I’ve never met, are comfortable explaining their dilemmas and expressing their emotions.

Anne was compelled to tell her story at Hopeful Mom. So, we sat down to chat. The following is from that conversation.

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The Four Lane Freeway

four lane freeway Dr. Sheri Keffer

I am over-the-top thrilled to have Dr. Sheri Keffer here with us. Her book, Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal, changed my life.  While the book is primarily for wives who’ve experienced betrayal, the information also pertains to parents who’ve experienced betrayal. The following post, first published on Dr. Sheri Keffer’s website, is applicable to both spouses and parents. I’m sure you’ll find the article informative and transformative. ~Barb

Several months ago I was driving on the freeway. From the corner of my eye I noticed a car coming directly toward me. It was surreal. In a fraction of a second I was broadsided – no fault of my own. I just happened to be in the wrong lane at the wrong time.

It was unavoidable. The car crossed ALL four lanes in a horrible attempt to exit the freeway. My car was white. They didn’t see me. On impact, I saw black.

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