The Crisis of Comparison

I’m thrilled to introduce Stephanie Catmull. She’s a therapist and mom, so she understands the challenges of parenting preteens and teens in this technological age. Additionally, Stephanie is caring and personable. It’s a privilege to call her friend. She’s here to help us understand the crisis of comparison our children face every day. I’m sure you will find some helpful information in her message.

“Hey, Mom. How come we never go on vacation during Spring Break like all my friends?”

“Hey, Dad. Look at the car my best friend got for his birthday!”

“She’s so much prettier than me. I wish I had her hair and her clothes and her body.”

“No one ever likes my posts. Just goes to show how unpopular I am.”

“Everyone but me has a life.”

Crisis of comparison leads to unhealthy depression and anxiety in our teens, and us, when we believe we’re “less than” everyone else. Teens, especially, are vulnerable because they’re at a crucial—and normal—stage of development where they’re trying to figure out their sense of self. During this time, parents’ influence fades, and peers’ effects magnify. They observe each other’s popularity, looks, beliefs, friends, values, athletics, academics, and activities to see who they want to be, and how to get there.

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The Importance of Real-Life Community in a Social Media World

community

A great tragedy of our day is that many of us want to be loved, but we’re terrified of being known. ~ The Wolf in Their Pockets

Community matters. People we interact with—friends, neighbors, classmates, co-workers, random people on the street—influence us. Surroundings impact beliefs, thoughts, and opinions, as well as physical and mental health. All these factors contribute to behavior.

In short, adults and teens alike should choose friends wisely and engage with others who support healthy choices frequently.

Where do we find these friends?

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When Life Disrupts: How Families Learn to Adapt and Heal

Only 1 in 7 married parents meet the criteria for resilience.

When an email about a 2024 study conducted by Barna[i] landed in my inbox a few weeks ago, I was intrigued. And encouraged. Resilience can be measured. It can also be learned. Good news for parents, especially those of us dealing with a child’s unhealthy behavior.

What is resilience? “The process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.”[ii]

Flexibility. Adjustment. Adapting. Bouncebackability. All qualities of resiliency.

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Snapchat and Other Social Demons

snapchat and social media have pornographic material

It’s my honor to introduce Daniel Weiss, president of Sexual Integrity Leaders, Inc. and co-author of Treading Boldly through a Pornographic World (which I highly recommend). Daniel’s passion for equipping leaders to help the sexually broken is evident. I’ve had the pleasure of speaking at one of the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summits he sponsors yearly. He is encouraging and humble. I’m sure you will find helpful nuggets of wisdom, especially on helping your children deal with this pornographic world, in his post.

A recent study from the United Kingdom again confirms what we have known for the past twenty years: exposure to online pornography is normal for kids today. In her report supporting the strengthening of Britain’s online protection laws, Children’s Commissioner Dame Rachel de Souza shared that, “This report … paints a stark picture of what childhood looks like in 2025 with an online world that is, in many ways, completely unfit for children.”

Social Media: Top Pornographic Sites

We might suspect the internet is bad for kids (or know it full well), but this recent study reveals that eight of the top sources for pornography aren’t pornographic sites at all, but mainstream social media sites like, X, Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok and YouTube. The internet has definitely moved on from the marketplace of ideas to a virtual brothel actively inviting kids to step inside.

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Teaching Teens Healthy Boundaries in Dating

“Will you go with me?” the boy asked. I was in fifth grade and didn’t recognize the phrase used at the time to ask someone to be his girlfriend. (Think 1980s.)

Wide-eyed, I said, “Go where?”

As his real question dawned on me, I regretted my reactionary response but was too shy to backpedal and say, “Yes.”

This interaction started my dating era.

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Partnering to Protect Kids from Online Dangers

church and technology

My good friend Sarah Siegand is with us again. She’s an expert at helping parents with their tech issues. She recently launched a book for student ministry leaders. In this post she reminds us that the Church is not immune from technology problems, so we should speak up and ask the Church to stand with us in this fight.

Research continues to prove that excessive screen time and exposure to harmful content have created a mental, emotional, and spiritual health epidemic among young people. From the former U.S. Surgeon General to congressional leaders across party lines, from Big Tech whistleblowers to grieving parents, the message is clear: our kids are in crisis.

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How to Help Your Teen Process Sexual Desire

I’m thrilled to introduce Ben Williams of 423 Communities. As the Director of Youth and Families – through 423 Next – he coaches teens, trains, and runs support groups. I love Ben’s heart and passion for teens and how he comes alongside them as someone who has been in their position. Ben offers great advice to parents in helping teens deal with sexual desire. I highly recommend checking out 423 Next here, especially if you have a teen struggling with pornography. By the way, 423 Next has a coach for girls, and I partner with 423 Communities to coach parents.

My Story

I vividly remember desiring privacy from my parents as a teenager. I would spend hours in my room watching YouTube, Netflix, and playing video games. When I was out with my family, I was not present. Instead of looking my parents in the eyes, I was looking down at my phone. Instead of listening to the conversation, I was listening to my headphones. Instead of talking to them, I was usually texting some girl from school.

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The Angry Parent’s Path to Peace

Anger. We’ve all fallen victim to it. A burning sensation lit quickly or simmering under other emotions, slowly escalating. Sometimes we’re so overwhelmed by anger, we teeter on the edge of sanity. And sometimes we don’t realize we’re angry until we explode.

Anger surprises us with irrational behavior and unintentional insults.

But anger also propels us to stand up for an underdog or speak out against an injustice.

Anger is a natural response to a life event. But left unattended, anger festers and permeates our well-being, like an untreated infection.

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How Predators Groom Kids for Sex Trafficking Online

Sex trafficking doesn’t typically start with kidnapping. It starts with grooming. Predators build trust first. They use affection, attention, and manipulation to slowly convince preteens and teens that abuse is love, secrecy is normal, and speaking up will ruin lives.

Grooming for sex trafficking happens in person and online and is particularly prevalent on social media platforms. Pornography and sex trafficking are intertwined, so we must discuss signs and grooming techniques with our children.

I recently watched a reel on journalist Lori Fullbright’s Instagram that clearly explains how predators groom their victims. You can watch the reel here. The following transcript reveals phrases predators use to manipulate, isolate, and control children before trafficking begins.

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Catfishing: What It Is and How It Impacts Our Teens

When my daughter worked at a local pharmacy, older ladies often came in to purchase gift cards for their online friends. Management taught her to ask questions and try to convince customers not to buy the gift cards if their stories were suspicious. Inevitably, though, buyers defended their purchases. They insisted they knew their “friend” well and there was a definite need. My daughter recognized that most of these ladies were being swindled, but she rarely talked them out of spending money on someone they’d never met in person.

These precious ladies were catfished.

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