Emotions Archives - HOPEFUL MOM

February 16, 2026February 6, 2026

Love is Not a Feeling: How Parents Can Model Selfless Love

Love. We dream about it, sing songs about it, and talk incessantly about it. We watch mushy movies hoping true love wins. We desire love in our own lives. But somewhere along the way, we confuse attraction, infatuation, and emotion with something deeper. Love is not a feeling, even though our culture treats it like one.

When I was a teen, my primary objective was finding true love. I knew the guy who would sweep me off my feet someday would complete my life and cure everything that ailed me. I would no longer be shy, insecure, or flawed. The ache in my heart would disappear.

January 19, 2026January 6, 2026

The Angry Parent’s Path to Peace

Anger. We’ve all fallen victim to it. A burning sensation lit quickly or simmering under other emotions, slowly escalating. Sometimes we’re so overwhelmed by anger, we teeter on the edge of sanity. And sometimes we don’t realize we’re angry until we explode.

Anger surprises us with irrational behavior and unintentional insults.

But anger also propels us to stand up for an underdog or speak out against an injustice.

Anger is a natural response to a life event. But left unattended, anger festers and permeates our well-being, like an untreated infection.

September 1, 2025September 2, 2025

Heidi Olson, Pediatric Nurse, Talks About Pornography and Child Sexual Assault

Note from Barb : I highly respect Heidi Olson and the work she does as a sexual assault nurse examiner. I asked her to educate us on the connection between pornography and child sexual assault because we need to know. While this information is disturbing, we can’t ignore it. A huge thank you to Heidi and others like her in the trenches with our children helping, protecting, and educating. Warning: This article contains information about child-on-child sexual assault and various themes in pornography.

Disclaimer from Heidi: I try not to use the word perpetrator when talking about children with problematic sexual behaviors, because they are victims of a predatory porn industry, their brains are still developing, and often do not understand the full ramification of their choices, and while this doesn’t negate harm they’ve caused, the issue of child-on-child sexual assault is extremely complex.

Who Are the Offenders?

When I became a pediatric sexual assault nurse examiner, I had a stereotype in my mind of what a perpetrator would look like. Predators conjure up an image of a creepy old man in a white van who lures children to him with kittens and candy. But the reality of what is happening to children is much more disturbing than I could have imagined. About a decade ago, I started to notice a pattern that many of the sex offenders weren’t old men (although those predators certainly exist), but they were actually children and teenagers (and these were instances of real sexual harm, not normal sexual development or curiosity).

August 4, 2025August 2, 2025

Lost in a Season of Waiting

I’m excited to introduce Melinda Patrick, our guest author. She understands the hurting heart of a parent. Our children sometimes choose to stay on their path to destruction, and we are stuck waiting and hoping. Melinda is here to offer advice for us during our season of waiting.

He moved. I moved.
Then he leapt—smugly—over two of my marbles.
Without thinking, I countered. Reflex, not strategy.

Back and forth we went, for several tense minutes. Then I looked down and saw something unsettling: the Chinese Checkers board had shifted completely out of balance—and not in my favor.

Somewhere between aggressive hops and rushed responses, I’d lost the thread.
I was no longer playing to win; I was reacting, flailing, distracted.
A few more poor moves sealed it.
In desperation, I threw up my hands and made the universal sign of surrender: a big, exaggerated “T.”

July 7, 2025June 21, 2025

Through My Daughter’s Eyes: Understanding the Anger of the Forgotten

I’ve never been more excited or proud to introduce a guest author at Hopeful Mom. My daughter Melinda Winters, a substance abuse counselor, is here to explain how pornography, neglect, abuse, and anger affect a child well into their adult years. Melinda is nurturing, patient, and loving. She treats everyone she meets with kindness and shows honor and respect to her clients. Every day, I’m impressed with her strength and resilience, even while she is tenderhearted toward those she interacts with. Melinda is passionate about helping women understand the importance of finding self-worth and valuing the person they can be. She has a powerful message for parents.

Walking into a room full of women filled with anger can often be challenging to navigate, especially when the room is inside a women’s correctional facility. Their faces and body language range from visibly angry and tense with arms crossed to masking their anger and pretending they are okay with a small smile and constantly moving hands. They avoid talking and making eye contact. Many of these women do not want to admit something traumatic happened to them. They do not want to admit they’ve been used and they have no self-worth. Or they repress memories of being used in their life. They want to be happy but instead find themselves constantly frustrated.

June 16, 2025June 17, 2025

BLAST Triggers: What’s Driving Your Teen’s Behavior?

Some run to drugs. Some shop. Some watch pornography.

How do you cope when your anxiety spirals and you’re desperate for relief? What’s your default reaction when triggered?

How about your teen? What sets them off and where do they turn?

I eat. My food of choice was ice cream until stomach problems forced me to give it up. Now it’s Ghirardelli chocolate. The dark chocolate mint squares. (Pause with me and mentally savor this treat.)

May 5, 2025April 30, 2025

Quitting Social Media Transformed My Daughter’s Mental Health

It’s a privilege to welcome back Jessica Brodie as our guest author. She cares for those struggling with mental health. I love her thoughts and advice concerning teens, social media, and mental health. Jessica’s debut book released last month. Find it here.

It started slowly at first, sneaking up on me. My confident, boss-lady daughter struggled with anxiety and panic attacks for years, but she was still self-assured and likable, and she still seemed to like herself.

Then puberty hit, and with it, the pandemic. About that same time, she’d reached the age where it seemed OK to let her have a cell phone—carefully moderated, of course, with all the requisite parental controls, privacy restrictions, and other important instructions, like “no direct messaging” and “don’t give out your personal info.” I didn’t think it was a problem to let her get TikTok and Instagram as long as her accounts were private.

April 21, 2025April 19, 2025

What Netflix Show Adolescence Reveals About Teen Mental Health and Technology

Information about the Netflix series Adolescence filled my feed, but I resisted the urge to turn it on. I ignored the ads and scrolled past the comments. I didn’t want to watch.

My research can affect my mental health to the point that I must step away. When that happens, I view uplifting, positive, or humorous content. I press pause on social media and all things mentally exhausting or downright sad.

But after seeing post after post about the new record-breaking Netflix series Adolescence, I relented. Accounts I trust claimed the show was impactful and that the storyline mirrors what our teens face every day.

February 17, 2025February 16, 2025

The Impact of Betrayal Trauma on Parents

Healthy relationships thrive on trust. When one person betrays the other, that trust breaks and the relationship’s solid foundation crumbles. Betrayal trauma may follow.

Several years into my son’s ordeal, I read about the effects of betrayal trauma in Dr. Sheri Keffer’s book Intimate Deception. She states, “Trauma is a reaction of our bodies, minds, and emotions to a deeply distressing event. . . . Like a death, earthquake, or car crash, the event happens suddenly and changes us without warning, causing us to feel shock, denial, agony, terror, or helplessness.” Keffer explains that these reactions can be ongoing if the deception (betrayal) is ongoing.[i]

The description rang true. I can’t enumerate all the ramifications of my son’s deceit, but I remember the sting of being lied to. At the time, I could not have imagined this child ever lying to me.

December 27, 2024January 9, 2025

Self-Care for the New Year

As December turns to January, tradition dictates that we reflect on the past year, shed unhealthy habits, and resolve to live a healthier lifestyle. A fresh start.

Easier said than done. Parenting never ends and doesn’t make room for reflection or renewed routines.

If you think life’s too busy to take care of your physical, emotional, and mental health, you’re not alone. According to 2023 data, “48% of parents say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming compared to 26% among other adults.”[i]