supporting parents in an online world
I love walking into a store and seeing school supplies front and center, just waiting for excited children and (maybe-not-as-excited) parents to snag discounted items. If my inner-organizing-self had it her way, she’d rush to the notebooks and Post-it notes and pile them in her cart. But, alas, my children are grown, and notebooks on my shelf still await usage.
Continue reading “7 Back to School Preparations for Teens”
I’m thrilled to introduce my friend Lori Kuykendall. Lori has 30 years of experience in community health education, focused on working with schools and sex education curriculum and policy. She has a wealth of knowledge and loves sharing with parents. She’s here to share about the messages our children receive and how we can help them understand the truth about sex.
Today’s youth are living in an over-sexualized culture. Sexual images and pressure and misinformation come at them from all sides. Pornography is pervasive and is often called “the new sex education.” What they see and hear about sex can’t not have an impact on what they do with sex. As parents, we have the great challenge of helping them navigate through the cultural “garbage,” to know what is true and what is not, and to have the skills and support needed to live by truth. We need to be intentional to impart in relevant and receivable ways the truths they need to put into practice and stand strong through the storms of life.
Continue reading “Missed Messages: Lies & Truth About Sex”
I met Ken Anderson a few months ago and instantly knew he was a good guy and would be a great friend—one like he describes in this post. He has a heart for college students who struggle with pornography and has a fabulous program to help them. In this post, Ken helps us parents understand the difference between a dawg (true friend) and a dog (more of a fan). As parents, we want to lean toward being a true friend to our children, rather than a fan. Great words of wisdom.
Pepper is her name and pooping anywhere other than outside is her game. At least that’s been the case lately. I love our 4-year-old pit mix. I, and I alone. (My wife Liz is pretty much out on her.) She’s spunky, cute, funny, and always down to cuddle while I’m watching a show or reading a good book. (I’m still talking about Pepper, just to clarify; although, many of these adjectives also describe Liz). But, she’s also a good ol’ fashioned stinker. She steals food when we aren’t looking, sneaks in licks of our toddler whenever she can (he hates it, and screams), and mischievously takes off with any and all items that aren’t hers and chews them up without any regard for the owner of said item.
Continue reading “Friend or Fan? Dawg or Dog? Which Are You?”
“When my son’s indiscretions surfaced, I felt like I’d been punched in the gut and then kicked while down. I was unknowingly in a war zone, and when the bomb exploded, I was hit. The fallout of his conduct landed on me.”[i]
If you’re a parent, grandparent, or sibling of a child who watches (or watched) pornography, you’re likely hurt, sad, and/or mad. You may experience shame and guilt as well. That’s understandable.
Ripple effects of youth who watch pornography extend to those close by.
Continue reading “Ripple Effects of a Child’s Porn Use on Parents”
My friend Linda Stewart is our guest for this post. She talks with us about how kids (and, let’s face it, us too) judge themselves based on their bodies. I learned some things in this post, and I hope you do, too! Linda co-wrote Before the Sex Talk: A Theology of the Body Approach for Parents and Mentors and is a board member of Sexual Integrity Leaders. (I’m speaking at their summit in May 2024. I highly recommend attending!)
We’ve learned to judge ourselves and our bodies. Messages that our value is based on our physical appearance seem to circulate in the air around us! We’ve also learned to judge others the same way, and we tend to pass what we’ve learned down to our kids, even if we don’t mean to. How can we stop passing these messages onto our children and replace the damaging thoughts that shape our and our kids’ self-assessments?
Continue reading “Kids Judge Their Bodies – Part I”
My son exited his bedroom and walked toward the front door.
“Are you leaving?”
Silence.
“Are you going to work?”
He turned to me, stared, then gave a quick nod.
“Okay. . . Have a great day!”
The door slammed.
I sighed. I felt invisible, unnoticed, and depleted.
Continue reading “You Matter”
Ashley Jameson of Pure Desire Ministries continues her discussion with us. Thanks, Ashley, for helping us talk about the brain, the body, and healthy boundaries.
Last time we talked about creating a culture of grace in our homes through being vulnerable and sharing our stories with our kids. It’s not always easy to create an environment where our kids know it’s safe to talk with us about anything! We so badly want our kids not to struggle. Here are a few things that helped me change the atmosphere in my house which allowed my kids to feel safer to come to me with their questions.
Continue reading “Kids, Let’s Talk About Sex, Part 2”
Your kids have two weeks off for the holiday break and you’re worried. What will they do? How will they spend their time? Will everyone get along? And, will they stay out of trouble?
Long breaks are bittersweet. We love the extra time with our children, but the lack of routine can make for difficult days. So, before school lets out and families gather, make some plans. Plan how your children will spend their days, and plan to protect their devices.
Continue reading “Planning for the Holiday Break”
My 26-year-old had an issue but is doing well now . . .
My son wrote me a long letter explaining his predicament . . .
A family in our congregation is dealing with this right now . . .
My 31-year-old has had problems. I’m not sure how he’s doing . . .
I just found out my college-aged daughter . . .
I’m raising my grandson who deals with this problem . . .
I heard these comments while attending a conference recently. Some wanted to talk further about the issues their child had or has had with pornography. Some simply mentioned their struggle in passing. A few have children who now walk in freedom from their habit. A few are still in the midst. But all these parents and grandparents followed their initial statement with, “Thank you.”
Continue reading “Thank You”
I met Ashley Jameson at the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit a few months ago. She’s energetic and passionate about helping spouses through her role at Pure Desire Ministries and at her church. She’s making an impact. I asked Ashley what advice she has for parents and she sent this post on healthy phone use, first published here. I love her authenticity and desire to pass on some words of wisdom to other parents.
I have a secret hiding place, between my fridge and cabinet, where I can sneak on my phone and not be seen by my kids or husband. You may be asking yourself, “Why does this grown woman to hide from her husband and kids?”
Continue reading “Scrolling by Example”