supporting parents in an online world
“My 9-year-old son told me our neighbor boy, his friend, described pornographic scenes he saw in detail to him. My son is traumatized.”
I read the above on a Facebook page I follow. The parent went on to say she was caught off guard. Even though she’s talked with her child about sex and puberty, she was waiting to talk about pornography. Below the original post, parent after parent described similar circumstances with their children.
Continue reading “Youth Show Friends Porn”
I’m thrilled to introduce my friend Lori Kuykendall. Lori has 30 years of experience in community health education, focused on working with schools and sex education curriculum and policy. She has a wealth of knowledge and loves sharing with parents. She’s here to share about the messages our children receive and how we can help them understand the truth about sex.
Today’s youth are living in an over-sexualized culture. Sexual images and pressure and misinformation come at them from all sides. Pornography is pervasive and is often called “the new sex education.” What they see and hear about sex can’t not have an impact on what they do with sex. As parents, we have the great challenge of helping them navigate through the cultural “garbage,” to know what is true and what is not, and to have the skills and support needed to live by truth. We need to be intentional to impart in relevant and receivable ways the truths they need to put into practice and stand strong through the storms of life.
Continue reading “Missed Messages: Lies & Truth About Sex”
“When my son’s indiscretions surfaced, I felt like I’d been punched in the gut and then kicked while down. I was unknowingly in a war zone, and when the bomb exploded, I was hit. The fallout of his conduct landed on me.”[i]
If you’re a parent, grandparent, or sibling of a child who watches (or watched) pornography, you’re likely hurt, sad, and/or mad. You may experience shame and guilt as well. That’s understandable.
Ripple effects of youth who watch pornography extend to those close by.
Continue reading “Ripple Effects of a Child’s Porn Use on Parents”
“I was first introduced to online sexting with strangers when I was 12 years old through an online video game on my computer.” Austin Couture, now 29, eventually developed an addiction. “I could not stop seeking out pornography and women to chat with online or the obsessive and compulsive masturbation that always went along with it. At one of my lowest points, I felt isolated, alone, confused, faulty and irreparably broken. I believed that I was an emotionless, guilt-ridden zombie that was forever cursed to live in despair with these sexual secrets.”[1] Austin and I met at a Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit and connected further when I was a guest on his podcast. I asked Austin to give us some insight from his perspective on addiction, talking, and using an internet filter. He had the following advice:
Continue reading “A Millennial Talks About Internet Filters, Pornography, and Addiction”
“We must—we must—we must increase our bust!” I grew up reading Judy Blume books. This line from Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret is part of my permanent memory. In the book, Margaret learned a lot about herself and hit puberty in the span of 192 pages. She and her friends were determined to look like the girls they saw in Playboy. They vow to do exercises to increase their bust size while chanting this memorable mantra. Throughout the book they each acquire bras and come of age by finally getting their period.
Sound of Freedom, the movie that packed theaters and reached number one at the box office quickly, is getting a lot of publicity. But the message of the movie is debated. Is it good or bad? Is it positive or negative? Does it help or harm the anti-human trafficking industry? Great questions, but not easily answered, in my opinion.
As with most topics, we can’t peg Sound of Freedom as all good or all bad. I believe those of us in the anti-human trafficking space critiqued the details of the movie more than the average American because of our knowledge on the subject.
Continue reading “Sound of Freedom”
When I started Hopeful Mom (originally called Difficult Conversations) five years ago, I didn’t know the impact it would have. All I knew was that I had a burden for other parents struggling with pornography in their home and couldn’t stay silent any longer. I wrote under a pen name for two years.
In August 2020, my family gave me permission to use my given name and Hopeful Mom gained traction. In October of that year, I attended a writers conference and, through the conference, landed an agent. In November 2021, I signed a book contract with Leafwood Publisher and . . .
Continue reading “Sexpectations Book Launch Day and Hopeful Mom’s Birthday”
“I don’t want to talk with my parents because they always give you a whole speech.”
Last month I attended a three-day adolescent pregnancy prevention conference. During one session, we heard a panel of five teens talk about their personal experiences with risk avoidance/prevention programs at their schools.
Continue reading “Teens Need a Trusted Adult”
I met Dr. Carol a few months ago when she asked me to be a guest on her podcast. I was immediately drawn to her likeable personality. Carol helps others find transformation through Jesus from thorny issues such as broken relationships, issues around sex/sexuality, mental/emotional problems, and toxic religion. I know you will benefit from her post.
You don’t want your kid hooked on porn. You don’t even want them seeing it.
In today’s world that’s kind of like kids and germs. Well, sort of. Every kid gets exposed to germs, but germs don’t destroy a person’s soul the way porn does. But God put you on this earth in this generation to raise your children in the world we have today. It’s messy. It’s hard.
And you’ve got what it takes.
Let me suggest three truths about relationships, porn, you, and your kid that will help you understand your role as a parent today.
Continue reading “Three Truths About Relationships, Kids, Porn, and You”
As a young mom, I wrestled with thoughts that I wasn’t enough. I didn’t purchase the right clothes or decipher my children’s needs correctly. I wasn’t contributing to the household income or spending enough time raising my children. The meals were inadequate and the house wasn’t clean. If I sat with the children to play a game, supper was late. If I spent too much time reading to them, they may not learn necessary life skills. The never-ending tug and pull in my mind. Can you relate? Mom, I see you.
Continue reading “Mom, I See You”