What important life skills are our children not being taught by screens? My friend, Christy Bass Adams, answers that question in this guest post. Christy’s compassionate heart comes through in this message to parents and those of us who spend a significant amount of time on our screens.
Our church recently hosted a workshop entitled, Are You the Screen Hero Your Child Needs? with speaker Barb Winters. She shared the dangers of unmonitored online access to kids and teens and the unhealthy habits and dynamics created in their lives. She also highlighted dangers and possible predators waiting to devour our children.
It’s easy to write these things off, especially when we are distracted or singularly focused. We need our kids quiet and entertained, so we put screens in front of them. They eat breakfast, lunch, and supper in front of screens. Everything revolves around keeping them entertained and engaged. Who actually knows what their minds are taking in?
What does this teach our kids?
More importantly, what are screens not teaching them?
Socialization
Dr. Sawchuk, from Mayo Clinic, says, “We are social animals by nature, so we tend to function better when we’re in a community and being around others.”[i] Depression and loneliness are more apt to enter a person’s life who has neglected socializing with others. The benefits of socializing include a better memory, sharper cognitive skills, a general sense of increased happiness, and is thought to lead to longer life as well.[ii] Kids, teenagers, and adults hiding behind screens, aren’t interacting with people face to face as often. Mindless video scrolling, text conversations with abbreviations and partial sentences, and unmonitored access to content that is not age appropriate is creating a generation that not only doesn’t socialize as much, but is forgetting how.
Conversation
When asked about the effects of technology on modern day conversation, sociology professor Sherry Turkle responded, “Conversation is the most human and humanizing thing that we do. It’s where empathy is born, where intimacy is born—because of eye contact, because we can hear the tones of another person’s voice, sense their body movements, sense their presence. It’s where we learn about other people.”[iii]
Even fifteen years ago when I was in the elementary classroom, I noticed the effects of technology. I regularly engaged my fourth and fifth graders in activities requiring conversation with peers—asking questions, responding appropriately, and utilizing manners, etiquette, and respectful responses. The further development of technology and the “need” to give our kids handheld devices at younger ages is only creating a bigger gap that we as a society need to bridge.
Relationships
More and more people turn to technology to meet friends, dates, and long-term relationships. Texting happens first, often for weeks. Then, finally, a phone call. Some relationships remain text and reel-focused, and in-person interactions are limited. Referencing Professor Turkle about her take on conversation, these technological interactions are lacking body language, tone of voice, eye contact, and I’ll add, familiar humor and friendly touch. While there are some success stories, technologically focused relationships generally miss the depth, intimacy, and familiarity of in-person connection.
What are screens not teaching our children? Socialization. Conversation. Imagination. Creativity. Critical thinking. Love of nature. Relationships. Rest. Stillness. Calm. Patience. ~ Christy Bass Adams What Are We Teaching Them?… Share on XImagination, Creativity, and Critical Thinking
I remember the days when kids played outside. We raced bikes, climbed trees, built forts, jumped out of swings, and ran up and down metal slides. We lay in the grass identifying different shapes and creatures in the clouds. We watched for shooting stars. And sat around campfires telling made up stories or singing silly songs. Life was about interaction. Imagination. Creativity. And thinking critically.
If a ball got stuck in the neighbor’s tree, we found a way to get it out. If there was something on the highest shelf, we used our brains and strategically retrieved it. When we chatted with friends, we were at the edge of the neighborhood deciding which route to take, not talking through technology.
Screens have changed things. Kids don’t have to imagine the fantasy worlds anymore; everything is at their fingertips. They speak it, AI generates it. While technology has created ease of access, I fear for the future generation’s ability to play, create, imagine, and problem solve. Not to mention the ability to count back change if the computers go down at a restaurant.
Rest, Stillness, Calm, and Patience
Anything a person wants or needs is at their fingertips. While fast food and processed packages changed my generation, the fast-paced, instant gratification of the internet has changed this one. Smartphones, tablets, smartwatches, Fitbits, self-driving cars, Uber-Eats. Technology is not fostering a generation of calm, patient, rest-focused individuals. They’re rarely still physically and constantly entertained with technology.
This generation is being educated, entertained, and raised by screens. And sadly, we are their models. No more book or magazine reading in doctor’s offices. Very few handwritten notes or cards. Audible car games and conversations are obsolete.
Challenge
We have allowed this to happen. Because our noses are always in a screen.
I’m guilty. My phone is my calendar, alarm, connection to friends and family, entertainment, and security. Its buzz interrupts meaningful activities and takes precedence over whatever I’m doing. And what do we do on our phones? Scroll through pointless reels, spy on people through social media, check messages, and play ridiculous games. There are important things as well, but overall, our phones keep us engaged in a virtual world and pull us away from real people.
I’m challenging myself to do better. Text messages can wait. Emails will be there later. The people in the room are the ones that matter most, and they need to be the ones who get and keep my attention.
Will you join me? Will you make a conscious effort to be present? Silence the noise of senseless media? Will you teach your kids to be present and engage with those in the room as well? If we don’t, we will lose this generation.
Be sure to visit Christy’s website at christybassadams.com and check out her books here. Subscribe for Hopeful Mom updates, share this post, and peruse the Hopeful Mom resource page. Thanks for reading!
[i] Mayo Clinic Minute: The benefits of being socially connected – Mayo Clinic News Network
[ii] Mayo Clinic Minute: The benefits of being socially connected – Mayo Clinic News Network
[iii] How Smartphones Are Killing Conversation
About the author
Christy Bass Adams
Christy Bass Adamsis the Outreach and Connections Coordinator at Fellowship Baptist Church in Madison, Florida. Along with her role on church staff, she also serves as bible teacher, camp counselor, small group facilitator, and a Celebrate Recovery leader. Christy is the author of the devotion, Learning as I Go, two middle grade books, Imagination Checkers and The Secret Door, and the Bible study, Called to Christ. Her most important role, however, is with her family as a wife of 16 years and mother to two busy boys. She has been an educator for the past 18 years, both at the elementary and collegiate levels. For more from Christy, visit her blogs: christybassadams.com and hiddeninplainsight.blog.