relationships Archives

August 2, 2026July 30, 2026

Your Child Needs Safe Enough, Not Perfect

I met Dr. Carol several years ago and have admired her ever since. Her sweet spirit is magnetic, and her knowledge is extensive. In her presence, you feel seen and heard. I’m thrilled that she’s back at Hopeful Mom helping parents understand what a safe enough parent looks like.

Your child has gotten involved in pornography or something similar. You’ve worked hard to keep your nervous system from going berserk. You may wonder, “What did I do to let this happen?” Some aspects of how you related to your child either now or in the past may leave you feeling overwhelmed, embarrassed, or sad. Some people tend to give up at that point. Others try to shift blame to the child, or step up the boundaries or controls.

But what your child needs most of all is a safe enough presence. They don’t need you to be perfect; they need you to be with them, to see them, and to care.

March 3, 2025March 3, 2025

What Screens Aren’t Teaching

What important life skills are our children not being taught by screens? My friend, Christy Bass Adams, answers that question in this guest post. Christy’s compassionate heart comes through in this message to parents and those of us who spend a significant amount of time on our screens.

Our church recently hosted a workshop entitled, Are You the Screen Hero Your Child Needs? with speaker Barb Winters. She shared the dangers of unmonitored online access to kids and teens and the unhealthy habits and dynamics created in their lives. She also highlighted dangers and possible predators waiting to devour our children.

It’s easy to write these things off, especially when we are distracted or singularly focused. We need our kids quiet and entertained, so we put screens in front of them. They eat breakfast, lunch, and supper in front of screens. Everything revolves around keeping them entertained and engaged. Who actually knows what their minds are taking in?

What does this teach our kids?

More importantly, what are screens not teaching them?

February 17, 2025February 16, 2025

The Impact of Betrayal Trauma on Parents

Healthy relationships thrive on trust. When one person betrays the other, that trust breaks and the relationship’s solid foundation crumbles. Betrayal trauma may follow.

Several years into my son’s ordeal, I read about the effects of betrayal trauma in Dr. Sheri Keffer’s book Intimate Deception. She states, “Trauma is a reaction of our bodies, minds, and emotions to a deeply distressing event. . . . Like a death, earthquake, or car crash, the event happens suddenly and changes us without warning, causing us to feel shock, denial, agony, terror, or helplessness.” Keffer explains that these reactions can be ongoing if the deception (betrayal) is ongoing.[i]

The description rang true. I can’t enumerate all the ramifications of my son’s deceit, but I remember the sting of being lied to. At the time, I could not have imagined this child ever lying to me.

April 17, 2023September 19, 2023

Three Truths About Relationships, Kids, Porn, and You

I met Dr. Carol a few months ago when she asked me to be a guest on her podcast. I was immediately drawn to her likeable personality. Carol helps others find transformation through Jesus from thorny issues such as broken relationships, issues around sex/sexuality, mental/emotional problems, and toxic religion. I know you will benefit from her post.

You don’t want your kid hooked on porn. You don’t even want them seeing it.

In today’s world that’s kind of like kids and germs. Well, sort of. Every kid gets exposed to germs, but germs don’t destroy a person’s soul the way porn does. But God put you on this earth in this generation to raise your children in the world we have today. It’s messy. It’s hard.

And you’ve got what it takes.

Let me suggest three truths about relationships, porn, you, and your kid that will help you understand your role as a parent today.

December 13, 2021December 12, 2021

Holiday Child Protection

I was immediately attracted to Jessica’s enthusiasm, amazing smile, and upbeat attitude when I met her at the 2021 Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation Online Global Summit. She is an encourager, urging me and others to continue working to make this world a safer place for our children. It’s my privilege to welcome her to Difficult Conversations to talk about child protection online and in-person during the holidays.

For many families globally the holidays are some of the most vulnerable times for children and families. Excitement permeates the atmosphere and charity fills the hearts of many. The joy of the season and the anticipation of joining family and friends causes a false sense of safety, leaving children exposed to predators and child sexual abuse material.