Note from Barb : I highly respect Heidi Olson and the work she does as a sexual assault nurse examiner. I asked her to educate us on the connection between pornography and child sexual assault because we need to know. While this information is disturbing, we can’t ignore it. A huge thank you to Heidi and others like her in the trenches with our children helping, protecting, and educating. Warning: This article contains information about child-on-child sexual assault and various themes in pornography.
Disclaimer from Heidi: I try not to use the word perpetrator when talking about children with problematic sexual behaviors, because they are victims of a predatory porn industry, their brains are still developing, and often do not understand the full ramification of their choices, and while this doesn’t negate harm they’ve caused, the issue of child-on-child sexual assault is extremely complex.
Who Are the Offenders?
When I became a pediatric sexual assault nurse examiner, I had a stereotype in my mind of what a perpetrator would look like. Predators conjure up an image of a creepy old man in a white van who lures children to him with kittens and candy. But the reality of what is happening to children is much more disturbing than I could have imagined. About a decade ago, I started to notice a pattern that many of the sex offenders weren’t old men (although those predators certainly exist), but they were actually children and teenagers (and these were instances of real sexual harm, not normal sexual development or curiosity).
I started digging through research and data from the hospital where I was working and what I found shocked me. Data showed that anywhere from 1/3 to almost 1/2 of those committing sexual assaults are minors themselves. In fact, the age range most likely to commit sexual assaults are 11–15-year-old-males, (1) with research showing that 14-year males are the highest risk to engage in this behavior. (2)
It’s not just a phenomenon that’s isolated to the United States. This trend is being echoed across many different countries, with the United Kingdom publishing data last year highlighting that the majority of their sex offenders are now minors. (3)
"Data showed that anywhere from 1/3 to almost 1/2 of those committing sexual assaults are minors themselves." Heidi Olson, Pediatric Nurse, Talks About Pornography and Child Sexual Assault #sexualassault #parenting Share on XWhen most people hear about a child sexually abusing another child, they immediately assume the offender is a victim of sexual abuse themselves, but that is not always the case. Sometimes the offender does have a history of sexual abuse, but there are other variables that contribute to a child sexually harming another child. This includes having a history of neglect, attachment trauma, or physical abuse. (4)
And an increasingly common theme that children are disclosing is that pornography deeply influenced their problematic sexual behavior. There is a correlational and causational relationship between porn use and sexual violence with over 100 peer-reviewed research articles detailing the connection. (5)
Sexual Assault Victims
Jayden* was a 4-year-old male, who disclosed a sexual assault to his parents that happened at the hands of his 11-year-old sister. She played pornography on her iPad during the assault, so he could watch and learn what to during the next assault. As far as the parents knew, the daughter had never been sexually assaulted herself.
We also took care of Natalie*, a 12-year-old female, who was brutally raped in a parking lot by a 16-year-old male she had met online. She did not think she had been assaulted, because she had been, “looking at and masturbating to porn every single day” for the last 7 years. This started when her parents gave her an iPad at the age of 5, and she accidentally stumbled on porn. The violent images had desensitized her to the point that she could not recognize that she had been sexually assaulted, because she was convinced sexual violence was normal.
Brain Research
Research shows the more that children view pornography, the more likely they are to act out what they are watching. (6) A survey done with 11–16-year-olds showed that the majority of the boys want to copy the acts they are seeing in porn. (7) This makes sense in the context of mirror neurons.
Dr. Sharon Cooper, a forensic pediatrician stated, “Imagery definitely affects children…when a child sees this image of adult pornography the mirror neurons that are in their brain will convince them that they are actually experiencing what they are seeing.”(8) When children see pornography, their mirror neurons cause their brains to become prematurely sexualized and they want to act out the explicit content they’ve been exposed to.
This was apparent when we cared for a 13-year-old female who was raped by her 16-year-old brother. He told her, “I was looking at porn in my room and couldn’t stop thinking about it.” As he began his assault.
Mainstream porn, what kids are stumbling onto, is extremely violent and degrading. Popular themes include incest, racism, rape fantasies, strangulation, gagging, slapping, hair pulling, multiple men penetrating one woman, and ejaculation on the face. (9) In fact, many teenagers are strangling each other during sexual encounters and assaults, because they are seeing it in porn, without the faintest idea that strangulation can cause brain damage or even be lethal. (10)
Pornography teaches young girls that self-exploitation is normal and even desirable. Kids are so desensitized to seeing naked bodies, it’s not a red flag when friends or strangers ask them for nudes. In fact, it’s a compliment, because someone thinks they are “hot.” They are watching influencers become rich and famous through porn sites like OnlyFans, with seemingly no downsides.
The porn industry is traumatizing kids on multiple levels. From the children who are exposed to pornography early in life, to the children who are sexually abused because pornography influenced an offender to act out. It gets even more complex for families who are navigating dynamics of one sibling harming another or parents who are dealing with school districts where children have been sexually assaulted at school by a peer.
What Parents Can Do
There are several important things that we can do to prevent and mitigate the harm that pornography is creating. Having honest conversations with kids about pornography in age-appropriate ways is one of the biggest safeguards we can implement. It’s also important that kids have friends in real life, purpose, and secure attachment with adults, which will decrease their risk factors for developing problematic sexual behaviors.
But what if a child is already acting out in sexually harmful ways? First, we need to approach the child in a calm manner. Children who are struggling with problematic porn use or acting out, need support, therapy, and safe relationships. The good news is that when children receive treatment, the rates at which they will re-offend decrease dramatically (look for MST-PSB or CBT-PSB programs where the root cause is addressed).
For the child that has been sexually abused, remain calm during a disclosure, believe them (children rarely lie about sexual assault disclosures), and protect them. (CLICK HERE for A Caregiver’s Survival Guide.) This may mean supervised or limited contact with the offender. Both children need support and care. While this topic is sensitive, complex, and challenging, it’s far more common than people realize and there is hope for healing.
*Names have been changed for privacy
For more information about Heidi Olson and her work, visit her website, Paradigm Shift. For a PDF on Problematic Sexual Behavior in Children and Youth: Vulnerability and Protective Factors, CLICK HERE.
References:
- Children’s Mercy Kansas City. (2015-2024). Redcap database.
- Finkelhor, D. (2012). Characteristics of crimes against juveniles. Durham, NH: Crimes against Children Research Center.
- Dodd, V. (2024). Children now ‘biggest perpetrators of sexual abuse against children”. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/jan/10/children-now-biggest-perpetrators-of-sexual-abuse-against-children
- National Center on the Sexual Behavior of Youth. Adolescents. Retrieved from https://www.ncsby.org/adolescents
- Malamuth, N. M., Addison, T. & Koss, M. P. (2000). Pornography and sexual aggression: Are there reliable effects and can we understand them? Annual Review of Sex Research, 11, 26-91.
- Wright, P. J. (2014). Pornography and the sexual socialization of children: Current knowledge and a theoretical future. Journal of Children and Media, 8(3), 305-312.
- Buljubasic, V. (2018). UK study shows most boys think online pornography is realistic. Retrieved from https://www.collectiveshout.org/uk_study_shows_most_boys_think_online_pornography_is_realistic
- Jenson, K. (2012). Top two reasons why children’s brains are vulnerable to pornography. Retrieved from https://www.protectyoungminds.org/2012/06/01/top-two-reasons-why-childrens-brains-are-vulnerable-to-pornography
- Fight the New Drug. (2018). 5 popular porn categories that are considered sexy online but are disturbing in reality. Retrieved from https://fightthenewdrug.org/5-popular-porn-categories-that-are-considered-sexy-online-but-are-disturbing-in-reality/
- Orenstein, P. (2024). The troubling trend in teenage sex. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/12/opinion/choking-teen-sex-brain-damage.html#
About the author
Heidi Olson
Heidi Olson, RN, MSN, CPN, SANE-P is a Certified Pediatric Nurse and Certified Pediatric Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE). She is also the Founder and President of Paradigm Shift Training and Consulting, which equips healthcare workers to be able to identify victims of human trafficking and exploitation.
Heidi previously managed a forensic program in Kansas City where she performed/reviewed over 1,500 pediatric forensic exams and started her groundbreaking work in sounding the alarm about the role of pornography influencing child-on-child sexual assault.
Heidi has testified in favor of bills that have been passed into law, has testified in a briefing on Capitol Hill and the United Nations. Most recently Heidi wrote an amicus brief for the U.S. Supreme Court, which ended up ruling in favor of protecting from online pornography.
Over the last few years, Heidi has been featured in documentaries, on podcasts, and has won an award for her outstanding anti-trafficking work.
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