Snapchat and Other Social Demons

It’s my honor to introduce Daniel Weiss, president of Sexual Integrity Leaders, Inc. and co-author of Treading Boldly through a Pornographic World (which I highly recommend). Daniel’s passion for equipping leaders to help the sexually broken is evident. I’ve had the pleasure of speaking at one of the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summits he sponsors yearly. He is encouraging and humble. I’m sure you will find helpful nuggets of wisdom, especially on helping your children deal with this pornographic world, in his post.

A recent study from the United Kingdom again confirms what we have known for the past twenty years: exposure to online pornography is normal for kids today. In her report supporting the strengthening of Britain’s online protection laws, Children’s Commissioner Dame Rachel de Souza shared that, “This report … paints a stark picture of what childhood looks like in 2025 with an online world that is, in many ways, completely unfit for children.”

Social Media: Top Pornographic Sites

We might suspect the internet is bad for kids (or know it full well), but this recent study reveals that eight of the top sources for pornography aren’t pornographic sites at all, but mainstream social media sites like, X, Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok and YouTube. The internet has definitely moved on from the marketplace of ideas to a virtual brothel actively inviting kids to step inside.

And they are, in droves. According to Dame de Souza’s research, seventy percent of all children have seen online pornography, including one-quarter that were exposed before the age of twelve. One fourth of kids are seeing hardcore, violent pornography while still in elementary school. How many fifth-grade sex–ed programs have adjusted to this fact?

Understand, Monitor, and Explain

We can’t rely on the outside world to offer the care and connection our children need. Parents may feel overwhelmed by these issues, but they are and have always been a child’s best line of defense. More than that, we can go on the offensive against this vile material with the tools God has given us already.

First, understand that most kids are first exposed to pornographic material accidentally. In the British study, 59 percent of youth had accidentally been exposed to pornography, compared with 35 percent that sought it out. This is horrible news, but offers an opportunity to limit this exposure. If you have young people at home, check the browser history, what kinds of apps are on their phones or laptops, and install filtering or monitoring software. Filters are not automatic blocks, but they prevent a lot of inadvertent exposure.

More than filters and online checks, parents have the strongest relational bond to kids and can offer the best guidance. It’s true that many (if not most) kids will seem uncomfortable with a sex or porn talk, but secretly, they are seeking guidance What they experience and understand about pornography can be frightening, confusing, deeply shaming, or addicting. Parents bringing a calm, non-anxious presence to these conversations put kids at ease, take the spotlight off of them, and place the conversation in the context of what is happening in the wider world.

A Christian theology of sin is helpful in explaining our current world. God gave us a wonderful gift by making us embodied beings with the capacity for physical, emotional, and spiritual love. Yet, we have abused these gifts throughout history and the culture now is as lost and distant from God as it ever was. Helping our kids see these images and ideas as counterfeit versions of love and intimacy is absolutely necessary. Countless interviews show that kids view porn sex as real sex. Countless articles also show the heartache and physical pain that occurs when kids act out the pornographic sex they’ve trained on.

How to Talk About Pornography

Parents can start talking with their kids in non-threatening ways by asking if they have heard about pornography, what they know of it, if they have seen it, and how their friends talk about it. As they share, we try to be curious without being mortified. Even if the truth hurts, we want to know it in order to bring needed care into our children’s’ lives.

Being “curious” may seem an odd phrase when paired with pornography, but parents and youth alike need to be curious about the factors that led them to seek out porn. Were they stressed at school, having a fight with a friend, feeling bullied? Seeking porn in such cases serves as a medicine to dull the internal pain they feel. By asking questions and going deeper into their true needs we can help detangle them from the pornographic webs into which they’ve fallen. We can also help them develop new ways of dealing with stressors, teach them to be mindful of their thought lives, and direct them toward the beauty of God’s design for sex and relationships.

This last part is something they will never find in the outside world. It has to come from you. Poke through the pages of the Bible from Genesis to Revelation and you see an intimate love story between God and his people. In the Law, the Prophets, Gospels and Epistles, God describes His love in earthy relational terms, of marrying His bride, the Church. Paul further connects marital intimacy to Jesus’ love for His people.

One fourth of kids are seeing hardcore, violent pornography while still in elementary school. Daniel Weiss reminds parents that they have the strongest relational bond to kids and can offer the best guidance. Snapchat and Other Social… Share on X

A Greater Love Story

To be clear, God is not sexual, but he has imbued our sexuality with glimpses of a divine future of never-ending love. Perhaps this is why the devil works so hard to confuse and abuse sexuality. If it serves as an icon of God’s greater love, Satan will do anything to smash it. I spoke to several hundred teenagers this summer and most of them had never heard of this greater love story. They had not been taught that their maleness and femaleness had a purpose, and few has been taught the characteristics of godly love that they could imitate and follow.

We may not be able to change the outside world, but we can straighten up our homes. If this thought frightens you, remember that God has already given you everything you need. Pray for an increase of patience, practice, and perseverance. Approach kids with unwavering love and a fierce determination to wrest them back from hell’s clutches. Pray for your needs and pray with them about these temptations often. You may feel unsteady, but no one in the world is as equipped to help your child as you.

Subscribe to Hopeful Mom and receive two FREE PDF downloads. You will also be notified when new posts are available. If you have a question, contact Barb here. For one-on-one coaching help, see this link. If you’ve discovered a child is watching pornography, I highly recommend the two downloads in the “My Child Saw Porn Series” found on the shop page, as well as reading Sexpectations: Helping the Next Generation Navigate Healthy Relationships. You can order a copy on the shop page or through Amazon.