Blog - Page 6 of 13 - HOPEFUL MOM

October 3, 2022September 26, 2022

The Four Lane Freeway

I am over-the-top thrilled to have Dr. Sheri Keffer here with us. Her book, Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal, changed my life. While the book is primarily for wives who’ve experienced betrayal, the information also pertains to parents who’ve experienced betrayal. The following post, first published on Dr. Sheri Keffer’s website, is applicable to both spouses and parents. I’m sure you’ll find the article informative and transformative. ~Barb

Several months ago I was driving on the freeway. From the corner of my eye I noticed a car coming directly toward me. It was surreal. In a fraction of a second I was broadsided – no fault of my own. I just happened to be in the wrong lane at the wrong time.

It was unavoidable. The car crossed ALL four lanes in a horrible attempt to exit the freeway. My car was white. They didn’t see me. On impact, I saw black.

September 26, 2022July 5, 2023

What to Do When You Feel Alone in Your Struggles

The heaviness was too much to bear alone. I needed to relieve the burden, to share the heartache, to transfer the pain.

My husband and I had just learned our son had been watching pornography. Through an hour-long discussion, my son disclosed his indiscretions, revealing news we weren’t prepared for. Although the conversation had ended well, my brain and body were reacting.

The shock was fresh. The injury was raw. The grief was palpable.

September 12, 2022August 12, 2022

Preventing Social Media Addiction

I’d like to introduce Larissa Mills, Founder of Iparentgen.com, The Mental Game Academy and Digital & Mental Wellness HR Solutions, our guest author. She has some practical advice for parents concerning social media and pornography addiction.

I have twenty years of experience in education and I’m a mother of three. So, I can safely say that phones with social media should never have been invented. Phones, yes! We, as adults, love them but are just as addicted as children. Once a child has one, they are sucked down the proverbial rabbit hole, never to talk to you again.

August 22, 2022February 16, 2024

Do Internet Filters Really Prevent Children from Seeing Pornography?

Our home owner association recently put a locked fence around the amenities in our neighborhood. We have a pool, a sports area, and a small playground for young ones and their families. Our fees pay for the upkeep and allow us these perks. Each home received a fob for our key chain, which unlocks the fence and allows us into these “members only” places.

August 8, 2022August 10, 2022

8 Tips to Addressing Masturbation with Kids

I’m thrilled to have John Fort of Be Broken Ministries back with us. This time he’s talking about masturbation. I have to admit this subject is still difficult for me to address, so I’m grateful John is willing to give us some suggestions. Read to the end for more resources, and check out his bio for information regarding his newly-revised book.

When I speak to parents on subjects related to talking with kids about sex or pornography, I always know I will be asked one question during Q&A. That question is, “What are we supposed to say about masturbation?” Before I answer, my own question would be, what is it about masturbation that seems to cause so much anxiety among Christian parents? I believe parents carry some level of baggage related to their own past that plays into fears about their kids.

July 25, 2022July 16, 2022

Understanding Triggers in Pornography Use

“Why did you make this decision? And why do you keep going back when you know it’s harmful?” Most parents ask these questions when learning about a child’s indiscretions or habitual behavior. We are trying to discern their triggers.

In a previous post, we defined triggers as “anything, as an act or event, that serves as a stimulus and initiates or precipitates a reaction or series of reactions.”[i] In other words, a trigger is an outside stimulus that activates internal turmoil. In that post, we explored triggers parents face after learning of a child’s struggle with pornography.

In this post, we’ll examine the user’s triggers—to watch pornography or run to any type of vice or behavior to seek immediate comfort.

July 11, 2022July 1, 2022

Do Girls Actually Watch Pornography?

These amazing ladies caught my eye on Instagram. Their bold messages, desire to see girls set free from porn addiction, and, frankly, their great reels, are superb. Be sure to stop by their IG account and hit follow. I’m so grateful they agreed to talk with us about girls and pornography. I’m sure you’ll find their story and advice invaluable.

Katie and Amanda became best friends in 9th grade when they awkwardly sat next to each other in drama class. A deep friendship quickly formed, and they spent almost every moment together. As close as these friends were, there was one massive secret both of them were keeping: They were secretly battling pornography addictions and wouldn’t tell each other until their freshman year of college.

June 27, 2022June 23, 2022

What Are Triggers?

My heart raced. My breathing shallowed and quickened. My thoughts were on high alert, throwing cautionary signals at me faster than I could process them. The room narrowed. I looked for an escape, a way to flee the situation I had encountered.

I was triggered.

June 13, 2022December 7, 2023

The Impact of a Parent’s Pornography Use on Children

I’m excited to have Kristin Cary here with us. Kristin is the co-founder of Living Truth, Inc. and she has a message for us on understanding how a parent’s pornography use can impact a child. Kristin and her husband, Michael, have a gift for you—two free guides. See the end of the post for details.

Hi I’m Kristin! I was in full-time ministry when my first marriage ended due to infidelity and sex addiction in 2006. My son was just 10 months old at the time. It felt like the pain would destroy me. Little was understood about sex addiction and betrayal trauma at the time, and I endured a lot of misunderstanding, shame, and blame. I was a single mother for almost five years, working really hard at my recovery during that time. An amazing Christian therapist and a recovery community that had walked similar paths before me were key elements in breathing hope and joy into my life again.

May 30, 2022November 16, 2023

Understanding Teens: It’s Not Rocket Science, It’s Brain Science

Have you ever wondered why your child makes irrational or illogical decisions? No matter how many times you’ve explained the consequences of a negative choice, your words appear to go in one ear and out the other. When a peer suggests they ride bikes in a construction zone, stay up late playing online games, or look at pornographic videos, their sense of reasoning disappears. Part of the answer has to do with brain science.

When my son felt a compulsion to watch pornography (was, in fact, addicted), I didn’t understand the pull. If he comprehended the dangers, why did he go back to it over and over? It was only after I researched the addictive nature of pornography and the brain science behind addictions that I caught a glimpse of his dilemma.

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to understand brain science.