Parenting Archives - Page 2 of 13

September 2, 2024January 9, 2025

Healthy Relationships in a Sexualized Culture

Our sexualized culture heavily influences the next generation. Whether they’re swiping through their social media feed, binging a show, reading a book, or hanging out with peers, there’s no escaping messages that steer them away from healthy relationships and towards unhealthy paths.

Parents try to counter cultural expectations, explaining why the latest greatest isn’t the best option. We’re on the defense. A friend persuades our child to install Snapchat. Swat. “Snapchat’s bad.” An influencer talks up an OnlyFans account. Whack. “Don’t show your stuff to strangers.” A partner says everyone’s doing it. Smack. “That’s not true. You’ll be sorry.”

August 19, 2024August 16, 2024

Comparing Healthy Sexuality, Purity Culture, and Pornified Mindsets

Some of Hopeful Mom’s readers are Christians. Some aren’t. Whether you subscribe to a Christian theology or not, this post from guest Cody Moen of Restoring Hearts Counseling can help you understand other viewpoints. The chart at the end contains especially helpful information regarding the difference between a pornified mindset, a purity culture mindset, and a healthy sexuality mindset. Thank you, Cody, for your insight.

One of the most common Bible verses repeated in addiction recovery material is Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” Renewal of the mind occurs through reading, hearing, and doing God’s Word, baptism, and the sacraments. The mind is renewed as the former way of life without Jesus is put to death and a new way of life is lived out.

My own life is an example of this small bit of theology played out in the real world.

August 5, 2024August 12, 2024

7 Back to School Preparations for Teens

I love walking into a store and seeing school supplies front and center, just waiting for excited children and (maybe-not-as-excited) parents to snag discounted items. If my inner-organizing-self had it her way, she’d rush to the notebooks and Post-it notes and pile them in her cart. But, alas, my children are grown, and notebooks on my shelf still await usage.

July 15, 2024July 9, 2024

Missed Messages: Lies & Truth About Sex

Lori Kuykendall Truth About Sex Missed Messages

I’m thrilled to introduce my friend Lori Kuykendall. Lori has 30 years of experience in community health education, focused on working with schools and sex education curriculum and policy. She has a wealth of knowledge and loves sharing with parents. She’s here to share about the messages our children receive and how we can help them understand the truth about sex.

Today’s youth are living in an over-sexualized culture. Sexual images and pressure and misinformation come at them from all sides. Pornography is pervasive and is often called “the new sex education.” What they see and hear about sex can’t not have an impact on what they do with sex. As parents, we have the great challenge of helping them navigate through the cultural “garbage,” to know what is true and what is not, and to have the skills and support needed to live by truth. We need to be intentional to impart in relevant and receivable ways the truths they need to put into practice and stand strong through the storms of life.

July 1, 2024August 28, 2024

What Parents Need to Know About Sextortion

Sextortion. One of several threats to our children. Parents, we should be aware of the danger and talk with our children.

What is sextortion?

Sextortion is “extortion in which a perpetrator threatens to expose sexually compromising information (such as sexually explicit private images or videos of the victim) unless the victim meets certain demands.”[i] They may demand additional sexual content, sexual activity, or money. Victims often know their extorters. A current or former boyfriend or girlfriend may have an image the victim sent to them confidentially believing their interaction was personal and private. Then the offender uses the content against them.

June 17, 2024June 18, 2024

Friend or Fan? Dawg or Dog? Which Are You?

I met Ken Anderson a few months ago and instantly knew he was a good guy and would be a great friend—one like he describes in this post. He has a heart for college students who struggle with pornography and has a fabulous program to help them. In this post, Ken helps us parents understand the difference between a dawg (true friend) and a dog (more of a fan). As parents, we want to lean toward being a true friend to our children, rather than a fan. Great words of wisdom.

Pepper is her name and pooping anywhere other than outside is her game. At least that’s been the case lately. I love our 4-year-old pit mix. I, and I alone. (My wife Liz is pretty much out on her.) She’s spunky, cute, funny, and always down to cuddle while I’m watching a show or reading a good book. (I’m still talking about Pepper, just to clarify; although, many of these adjectives also describe Liz). But, she’s also a good ol’ fashioned stinker. She steals food when we aren’t looking, sneaks in licks of our toddler whenever she can (he hates it, and screams), and mischievously takes off with any and all items that aren’t hers and chews them up without any regard for the owner of said item.

June 3, 2024May 31, 2024

Ripple Effects of a Child’s Porn Use on Parents

“When my son’s indiscretions surfaced, I felt like I’d been punched in the gut and then kicked while down. I was unknowingly in a war zone, and when the bomb exploded, I was hit. The fallout of his conduct landed on me.”[i]

If you’re a parent, grandparent, or sibling of a child who watches (or watched) pornography, you’re likely hurt, sad, and/or mad. You may experience shame and guilt as well. That’s understandable.

Ripple effects of youth who watch pornography extend to those close by.

May 20, 2024April 19, 2024

Kids Judge Their Bodies: What Can We Do?

Linda Stewart is back, continuing the conversation on how kids judge their bodies and how we and our children can learn to value the body. This topic is especially important since many preteens and teens learn to judge themselves based on what they see on social media and in pornographic videos. I learned so much in this post, and I’m sure you will find something valuable and applicable. If you haven’t already, read Kids Judge Their Bodies Part 1 here.

“How can I teach my kids to view theirs and others’ bodies without judgement?” The most effective way is probably the most difficult because it requires that we as parents, grandparents, and mentors deconstruct our own beliefs that affirm the body as a source of our value. If we can make the effort and begin this process so that we model the truth for kids, it can be so effective. We can demonstrate in our daily lives that every body is priceless because it expresses the irreplaceable and unrepeatable beauty of that person as a reflection of God. We can model this truth through our treatment of our own and others’ bodies.

May 6, 2024April 9, 2024

Mental Health and Youth

May is mental health awareness month.

We hear the phrase “mental health” often. So, let’s define it, see what affects it, and consider ways to help our children avoid mental health challenges.

April 15, 2024March 14, 2024

Kids Judge Their Bodies – Part I

My friend Linda Stewart is our guest for this post. She talks with us about how kids (and, let’s face it, us too) judge themselves based on their bodies. I learned some things in this post, and I hope you do, too! Linda co-wrote Before the Sex Talk: A Theology of the Body Approach for Parents and Mentors and is a board member of Sexual Integrity Leaders. (I’m speaking at their summit in May 2024. I highly recommend attending!)

We’ve learned to judge ourselves and our bodies. Messages that our value is based on our physical appearance seem to circulate in the air around us! We’ve also learned to judge others the same way, and we tend to pass what we’ve learned down to our kids, even if we don’t mean to. How can we stop passing these messages onto our children and replace the damaging thoughts that shape our and our kids’ self-assessments?