supporting parents in an online world
I love walking into a store and seeing school supplies front and center, just waiting for excited children and (maybe-not-as-excited) parents to snag discounted items. If my inner-organizing-self had it her way, she’d rush to the notebooks and Post-it notes and pile them in her cart. But, alas, my children are grown, and notebooks on my shelf still await usage.
Continue reading “7 Back to School Preparations for Teens”
I’m thrilled to introduce my friend Lori Kuykendall. Lori has 30 years of experience in community health education, focused on working with schools and sex education curriculum and policy. She has a wealth of knowledge and loves sharing with parents. She’s here to share about the messages our children receive and how we can help them understand the truth about sex.
Today’s youth are living in an over-sexualized culture. Sexual images and pressure and misinformation come at them from all sides. Pornography is pervasive and is often called “the new sex education.” What they see and hear about sex can’t not have an impact on what they do with sex. As parents, we have the great challenge of helping them navigate through the cultural “garbage,” to know what is true and what is not, and to have the skills and support needed to live by truth. We need to be intentional to impart in relevant and receivable ways the truths they need to put into practice and stand strong through the storms of life.
Continue reading “Missed Messages: Lies & Truth About Sex”
Sextortion. One of several threats to our children. Parents, we should be aware of the danger and talk with our children.
Sextortion is “extortion in which a perpetrator threatens to expose sexually compromising information (such as sexually explicit private images or videos of the victim) unless the victim meets certain demands.”[i] They may demand additional sexual content, sexual activity, or money. Victims often know their extorters. A current or former boyfriend or girlfriend may have an image the victim sent to them confidentially believing their interaction was personal and private. Then the offender uses the content against them.
Continue reading “What Parents Need to Know About Sextortion”
I met Ken Anderson a few months ago and instantly knew he was a good guy and would be a great friend—one like he describes in this post. He has a heart for college students who struggle with pornography and has a fabulous program to help them. In this post, Ken helps us parents understand the difference between a dawg (true friend) and a dog (more of a fan). As parents, we want to lean toward being a true friend to our children, rather than a fan. Great words of wisdom.
Pepper is her name and pooping anywhere other than outside is her game. At least that’s been the case lately. I love our 4-year-old pit mix. I, and I alone. (My wife Liz is pretty much out on her.) She’s spunky, cute, funny, and always down to cuddle while I’m watching a show or reading a good book. (I’m still talking about Pepper, just to clarify; although, many of these adjectives also describe Liz). But, she’s also a good ol’ fashioned stinker. She steals food when we aren’t looking, sneaks in licks of our toddler whenever she can (he hates it, and screams), and mischievously takes off with any and all items that aren’t hers and chews them up without any regard for the owner of said item.
Continue reading “Friend or Fan? Dawg or Dog? Which Are You?”
“When my son’s indiscretions surfaced, I felt like I’d been punched in the gut and then kicked while down. I was unknowingly in a war zone, and when the bomb exploded, I was hit. The fallout of his conduct landed on me.”[i]
If you’re a parent, grandparent, or sibling of a child who watches (or watched) pornography, you’re likely hurt, sad, and/or mad. You may experience shame and guilt as well. That’s understandable.
Ripple effects of youth who watch pornography extend to those close by.
Continue reading “Ripple Effects of a Child’s Porn Use on Parents”
Linda Stewart is back, continuing the conversation on how kids judge their bodies and how we and our children can learn to value the body. This topic is especially important since many preteens and teens learn to judge themselves based on what they see on social media and in pornographic videos. I learned so much in this post, and I’m sure you will find something valuable and applicable. If you haven’t already, read Kids Judge Their Bodies Part 1 here.
“How can I teach my kids to view theirs and others’ bodies without judgement?” The most effective way is probably the most difficult because it requires that we as parents, grandparents, and mentors deconstruct our own beliefs that affirm the body as a source of our value. If we can make the effort and begin this process so that we model the truth for kids, it can be so effective. We can demonstrate in our daily lives that every body is priceless because it expresses the irreplaceable and unrepeatable beauty of that person as a reflection of God. We can model this truth through our treatment of our own and others’ bodies.
Continue reading “Kids Judge Their Bodies: What Can We Do?”
May is mental health awareness month.
We hear the phrase “mental health” often. So, let’s define it, see what affects it, and consider ways to help our children avoid mental health challenges.
Continue reading “Mental Health and Youth”
My friend Linda Stewart is our guest for this post. She talks with us about how kids (and, let’s face it, us too) judge themselves based on their bodies. I learned some things in this post, and I hope you do, too! Linda co-wrote Before the Sex Talk: A Theology of the Body Approach for Parents and Mentors and is a board member of Sexual Integrity Leaders. (I’m speaking at their summit in May 2024. I highly recommend attending!)
We’ve learned to judge ourselves and our bodies. Messages that our value is based on our physical appearance seem to circulate in the air around us! We’ve also learned to judge others the same way, and we tend to pass what we’ve learned down to our kids, even if we don’t mean to. How can we stop passing these messages onto our children and replace the damaging thoughts that shape our and our kids’ self-assessments?
Continue reading “Kids Judge Their Bodies – Part I”
I’m thrilled to introduce you to Julia Daniels of Ever Accountable. She’s here to help us understand how to talk about AI and porn with our children. This is a powerhouse article full of fantastic resources.
While Taylor Swift’s deepfake porn debacle on Twitter caught the attention of national and international news, a growing number of similar news stories have been hitting the headlines regularly. In many cases, they involve AI-generated deepfake porn and minors. Parents and teens are alarmed as AI and porn is unleashing deadly dangers – creating a new wave of image based sexual abuse and sextortion. Even the American Academy of Pediatrics recently issued a warning.
What you don’t know about AI-generated porn could blindside you and your family. But clearly naming something dangerous starts destroying its power.
Continue reading “How to talk about AI and porn: a guide for parents”
My son exited his bedroom and walked toward the front door.
“Are you leaving?”
Silence.
“Are you going to work?”
He turned to me, stared, then gave a quick nod.
“Okay. . . Have a great day!”
The door slammed.
I sighed. I felt invisible, unnoticed, and depleted.
Continue reading “You Matter”