Parenting Archives - Page 8 of 13

November 1, 2021October 27, 2021

This Boy Is Me: Smith Alley’s Story

I am overly excited to introduce Smith Alley, a high school student boldly talking about the effects of pornography and social media on youth today. I asked Smith Alley to write a guest post because I believe it’s vital we understand what our children are facing. His willingness to self-identify as someone who struggled with porn at a young age is courageous and inspiring. If you want to hear more from Smith, check out his presentation, Peeking Through the Eyes of Youth.

I have a product that will make you happier than the day before. Day in and day out without fail. Are you interested? I hate to tell you this product isn’t something you can add into your Amazon shopping cart with one click. It won’t be found at your local grocery store and isn’t even sold at the largest of Costco’s.

October 18, 2021October 19, 2021

Why Educate Your Child About Porn?

Gone are the days of taking the silent approach. Parents can no longer afford to wait to educate their children about sex and pornography. They can’t rely on peers or nature to do the job for them.

What I’ve learned while researching the effects of technology on our children and their brains is mind-blowing. The world they live in is nothing like yesteryear. This fact is neither positive nor negative. It just is.

October 4, 2021October 6, 2021

You Have a Superpower: Your Story

It’s my privilege to introduce Anne Kerr as a guest here at Difficult Conversations. Anne has years of experience helping parents talk about sexuality with their children. I love her matter-of-fact attitude and specific tips for parents on how to communicate with your children. Her wisdom is invaluable.

You Have a Superpower. It’s your story. Here’s why your kids need to hear it.

You Have a Superpower. It's your story. And your kids need to hear it. #superpower #yourstory Share on X

In your growing-up years did you experience things related to sexuality that were embarrassing, or hurtful, or even destructive? What about a sexual encounter that left you curious, or aroused, or perhaps wanting more?

September 20, 2021August 31, 2024

Communication Tips

When my son was sixteen, he came to a crossroads in his life. His belief system surrounding pornography did not line up with his behavior, and he had to decide once and for all how to resolve this dilemma.

He wouldn’t have reached this point if he hadn’t realized there was a problem. That comprehension came through communication and education, sprinkled with lots of love from us, his parents . . . as well as patience.

September 6, 2021September 6, 2021

Protecting Your Castle

When I first saw Rachelle’s castle, I was impressed. I think it’s an inspiring way to illustrate how to protect your home and your children from pornography. Even though parenting in a digital world cannot end with filters and parental controls (difficult conversations are a must!), I’m so grateful Rachelle is joining us here to straighten us out and explain these levels of protection. ~Barb

According to a study cited in Andy Crouch’s fantastic book The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place, technology is the number one reason parents believe raising kids is more complicated than it was in the past. Between being concerned about what our kids are seeing to worrying about how much time they are spending on devices, it can feel like we are fighting a losing battle. Plus, technology is constantly changing and staying on top of what is out there can be confusing, overwhelming, and challenging.

August 23, 2021August 22, 2021

Sleep and Rest: Self-Care Musts

Our last day of vacation. We were leaving in a few hours. My family took off in one direction for a big breakfast. But I headed to the public square for a coffee and piece of carrot cake.

I meandered into the central park of Antigua, Guatemala and watched it come alive. Vendors set up their wares while tourists and locals grabbed a bite to eat and took selfies by the fountain. Lovers held hands or kissed on the park benches. A photographer snapped photos of a graduate in her cap and gown.

July 27, 2021July 24, 2021

IDENTIFY THE ROOT ISSUES OF PORN USE

I met Krista when we were both speakers at an online conference for thehopeline last Spring. When I saw her session, I felt the compassion she has for teen girls. She listens to them, equips them, and offers them hope through Girl Above. I asked her to talk with the parents here, and I love how she especially encourages us to look beyond the behavior and identify the root issues of porn use.

If you are a parent in 2021 and have a child over the age of 8 years old, there is a huge chance you are struggling to navigate your child’s exposure to or use of pornography. This does not make you a bad parent; this makes you a 2021 parent. Unfortunately, for the first time in the history of the world, our children carry a free and unlimited drug in their pocket. This drug is internet pornography, and their access to smartphones has made the problem nearly impossible to address. In 2019 there were over 33 trillion views on porn sites. The train has left the station, and parents are now just trying to keep up.

After ten years of working with teens, my best advice for parents is to look WAY beyond the behavior and identify the root issues motivating the behavior. Once you have identified the root causes, become someone with whom your child can have in-depth conversations to address and heal those areas of their life.

July 12, 2021July 13, 2021

Celebrate the Wins

My daughter stepped onto the javelin runway. The field appeared to be marked incorrectly, but she was determined to be in the top six and claim her place at nationals.

Her warm up throw sailed out of the sector (the area inside the lines indicating if the javelin lands “inbounds” or not). Her brother walked over and coached her on how to correct her throw to accommodate the wonky lines. For her, a leftie, this proved to be more difficult than the rest of the competitors because the makeshift right line was blowing in the wind, altering what was “inbounds” as the direction of the wind changed.

June 28, 2021June 29, 2021

Understanding Daughters and Pornography

I am super excited to introduce this guest. Jessica Harris, author of Beggar’s Daughter: From the Rags of Pornography to the Riches of Grace, has an amazing reputation as one of the first women to speak up about her pornography problem – paving the way for other women to come clean. Through her website and speaking engagements, she equips women who struggle with pornography and helps parents of daughters understand this is not just a male issue. I admire Jessica and her willingness to be a leader in this area. I’m sure you will glean some great information from this article.

I first found pornography when I was 13 years old. What started as honest research for school, became a defining moment in my life. As I scrolled through scientific video clips, a dark thumbnail caught my eye. I clicked on it and stared in awe and terror at the scenes of violent hardcore pornography playing in front of me. When I attempted to close the window, more popped up. Within minutes, I was ushered onto a webpage filled with hardcore pornography, and my world forever changed.

June 15, 2021June 15, 2021

The Impact of Betrayal Trauma

When we discover a child has been watching pornography we usually focus our attention on how to deal with the presenting problem: How do I help my child stop watching porn? While we notice the effect the news has on us—hurt, anger, guilt, shock, panic, anxiety, sadness, confusion—we typically try to push those feelings aside because the urgency of the situation demands we maintain our composure as best we can. We cannot stop parenting simply because we have our own trauma to tend to.

It was several years into my son’s ordeal before I read about the effects of betrayal trauma, the damage to a relationship experienced because of a betrayal. But even though I hadn’t heard the term or couldn’t enumerate all the ramifications his betrayal had on me, I remember being stunned that he had lied to me and deceived me.