supporting parents in an online world
“My 9-year-old son told me our neighbor boy, his friend, described pornographic scenes he saw in detail to him. My son is traumatized.”
I read the above on a Facebook page I follow. The parent went on to say she was caught off guard. Even though she’s talked with her child about sex and puberty, she was waiting to talk about pornography. Below the original post, parent after parent described similar circumstances with their children.
Continue reading “Youth Show Friends Porn”
Our sexualized culture heavily influences the next generation. Whether they’re swiping through their social media feed, binging a show, reading a book, or hanging out with peers, there’s no escaping messages that steer them away from healthy relationships and towards unhealthy paths.
Parents try to counter cultural expectations, explaining why the latest greatest isn’t the best option. We’re on the defense. A friend persuades our child to install Snapchat. Swat. “Snapchat’s bad.” An influencer talks up an OnlyFans account. Whack. “Don’t show your stuff to strangers.” A partner says everyone’s doing it. Smack. “That’s not true. You’ll be sorry.”
Continue reading “Healthy Relationships in a Sexualized Culture”
Some of Hopeful Mom’s readers are Christians. Some aren’t. Whether you subscribe to a Christian theology or not, this post from guest Cody Moen of Restoring Hearts Counseling can help you understand other viewpoints. The chart at the end contains especially helpful information regarding the difference between a pornified mindset, a purity culture mindset, and a healthy sexuality mindset. Thank you, Cody, for your insight.
One of the most common Bible verses repeated in addiction recovery material is Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” Renewal of the mind occurs through reading, hearing, and doing God’s Word, baptism, and the sacraments. The mind is renewed as the former way of life without Jesus is put to death and a new way of life is lived out.
My own life is an example of this small bit of theology played out in the real world.
Continue reading “Comparing Healthy Sexuality, Purity Culture, and Pornified Mindsets”
I’m thrilled to introduce my friend Lori Kuykendall. Lori has 30 years of experience in community health education, focused on working with schools and sex education curriculum and policy. She has a wealth of knowledge and loves sharing with parents. She’s here to share about the messages our children receive and how we can help them understand the truth about sex.
Today’s youth are living in an over-sexualized culture. Sexual images and pressure and misinformation come at them from all sides. Pornography is pervasive and is often called “the new sex education.” What they see and hear about sex can’t not have an impact on what they do with sex. As parents, we have the great challenge of helping them navigate through the cultural “garbage,” to know what is true and what is not, and to have the skills and support needed to live by truth. We need to be intentional to impart in relevant and receivable ways the truths they need to put into practice and stand strong through the storms of life.
Continue reading “Missed Messages: Lies & Truth About Sex”
Sextortion. One of several threats to our children. Parents, we should be aware of the danger and talk with our children.
Sextortion is “extortion in which a perpetrator threatens to expose sexually compromising information (such as sexually explicit private images or videos of the victim) unless the victim meets certain demands.”[i] They may demand additional sexual content, sexual activity, or money. Victims often know their extorters. A current or former boyfriend or girlfriend may have an image the victim sent to them confidentially believing their interaction was personal and private. Then the offender uses the content against them.
Continue reading “What Parents Need to Know About Sextortion”
“When my son’s indiscretions surfaced, I felt like I’d been punched in the gut and then kicked while down. I was unknowingly in a war zone, and when the bomb exploded, I was hit. The fallout of his conduct landed on me.”[i]
If you’re a parent, grandparent, or sibling of a child who watches (or watched) pornography, you’re likely hurt, sad, and/or mad. You may experience shame and guilt as well. That’s understandable.
Ripple effects of youth who watch pornography extend to those close by.
Continue reading “Ripple Effects of a Child’s Porn Use on Parents”
My friend Linda Stewart is our guest for this post. She talks with us about how kids (and, let’s face it, us too) judge themselves based on their bodies. I learned some things in this post, and I hope you do, too! Linda co-wrote Before the Sex Talk: A Theology of the Body Approach for Parents and Mentors and is a board member of Sexual Integrity Leaders. (I’m speaking at their summit in May 2024. I highly recommend attending!)
We’ve learned to judge ourselves and our bodies. Messages that our value is based on our physical appearance seem to circulate in the air around us! We’ve also learned to judge others the same way, and we tend to pass what we’ve learned down to our kids, even if we don’t mean to. How can we stop passing these messages onto our children and replace the damaging thoughts that shape our and our kids’ self-assessments?
Continue reading “Kids Judge Their Bodies – Part I”
My son exited his bedroom and walked toward the front door.
“Are you leaving?”
Silence.
“Are you going to work?”
He turned to me, stared, then gave a quick nod.
“Okay. . . Have a great day!”
The door slammed.
I sighed. I felt invisible, unnoticed, and depleted.
Continue reading “You Matter”
“I’m sorry.”
Ten minutes before, my mom mode soared into overdrive. My right eyebrow raised, my hip cocked, and my finger wagged. “I can’t believe you did that. You know better. I’ve told you about the dangers over and over.” I raised my voice and started in on a five-minute lecture.
Continue reading “Two Powerful Words”
Most of us use social media daily. Whether we’re messaging a friend in WhatsApp, looking up how to fix something on YouTube, or scrolling our Instagram feed, we’re enjoying the benefits of social media. But, is it safe? Parents ask me whether they should allow their preteens and teens to get SnapChat, TikTok, or the latest greatest social media app. In this guest post, John DiGirolamo gives us some pointers on social media safety for our children. The following is an adapted excerpt from John’s booklet, It’s Not About the Predator: A Parent’s Guide to Internet & Social Media Safety.
Is social media safe? The short answer is no. Social media (and the rest of the internet) isn’t safe. So, if you are going to allow your kid access, be aware of the dangers and pitfalls.
Continue reading “Social Media Safety”