supporting parents in an online world
In October I spoke at the SHE Recovery Virtual Summit, an online conference for females who have struggled with pornography. During the summit, I ran a poll asking attendees this question:
Girls, what’s the biggest fear that keeps you (or kept you) from telling your parents about your pornography problem?
Continue reading “3 Reasons Children Fear Talking to Parents About Porn”
Kristen Miele of Sex Ed Reclaimed is with us to talk about sexting. I met Kristen when she and I were each presenting at the SHE Recovery Summit. Her topic was sexting, and I quickly asked her to share her expertise at Hopeful Mom. I’m so grateful she agreed.
Sending nudes. Sharing pics. Snapu puas (sending nudes, the words upside down and backwards!). Texxxting. ‘You up?.’
Slang and teenagers go together like pumpkins and pie. There are many terms for sexting: sending explicit photos over the phone, in messages, and online. As adults, we’ll never understand all of the current slang. We actually don’t need to. However, what we do need to know is how to help our children prevent and heal from the epidemic of sexting.
Continue reading “Sexting: Helping Our Children Heal From This Epidemic”
In the show Ghosts, a modern-day character, Samantha, sees and hears ghosts who reside in the mansion she owns. Each lived during a different time period in history and died in the mansion. In one episode, Hetty, who lived in the 1880’s, has the opportunity to converse with the maid her husband had an affair with while she was living. Hetty has been holding a grudge since before her death. She confronts the maid, accusing her of chasing after her husband.
Wide-eyed, Molly responds, “He pursued me. I wasn’t interested. I didn’t know what to say. So I didn’t say anything.”
Continue reading “What You Need to Know About Consent”
It’s a privilege to have Jen Hoey of Not My Kid here to talk with us about protecting children online. This is an appropriate topic as we head into the holiday season. If you are contemplating purchasing a device for your child for Christmas, pay special attention to Jen’s suggestions and read to the end for my recommendations on a first phone and filters.
“I did not for a moment think something like this could ever happen to my child. But it did, despite my vigilance.” This is the opening paragraph of the book I wrote about my daughter’s experience with an online predator. This event changed the trajectory of my life and was the catalyst for me getting involved in the prevention of online child exploitation by empowering parents through education as a Cyber Safety Parent Consultant.
The issue of online safety raises many responses from parents, but the most frequent I hear is “not my kid” or “my child will be left out.”
Continue reading “Not My Kid – Online Safety”
Anne,* a friend of mine, contacted me recently about her daughter. That’s not unusual. Since I began Hopeful Mom, formerly Difficult Conversations, many friends have called, messaged, or emailed me concerning their children’s, spouses’, and even parents’ pornography use. I’ve heard stories of parents scrolling through their child’s history and finding pornography, stories of parents learning their child was molested by someone engaged with pornography, and stories of parents who’ve battled pornography in their home for years.
I’m grateful for this space where friends, as well as people I’ve never met, are comfortable explaining their dilemmas and expressing their emotions.
Anne was compelled to tell her story at Hopeful Mom. So, we sat down to chat. The following is from that conversation.
Continue reading “Young Children See Pornography, Too”
I am over-the-top thrilled to have Dr. Sheri Keffer here with us. Her book, Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal, changed my life. While the book is primarily for wives who’ve experienced betrayal, the information also pertains to parents who’ve experienced betrayal. The following post, first published on Dr. Sheri Keffer’s website, is applicable to both spouses and parents. I’m sure you’ll find the article informative and transformative. ~Barb
Several months ago I was driving on the freeway. From the corner of my eye I noticed a car coming directly toward me. It was surreal. In a fraction of a second I was broadsided – no fault of my own. I just happened to be in the wrong lane at the wrong time.
It was unavoidable. The car crossed ALL four lanes in a horrible attempt to exit the freeway. My car was white. They didn’t see me. On impact, I saw black.
Continue reading “The Four Lane Freeway”
The heaviness was too much to bear alone. I needed to relieve the burden, to share the heartache, to transfer the pain.
My husband and I had just learned our son had been watching pornography. Through an hour-long discussion, my son disclosed his indiscretions, revealing news we weren’t prepared for. Although the conversation had ended well, my brain and body were reacting.
The shock was fresh. The injury was raw. The grief was palpable.
Continue reading “What to Do When You Feel Alone in Your Struggles”
I’d like to introduce Larissa Mills, Founder of Iparentgen.com, The Mental Game Academy and Digital & Mental Wellness HR Solutions, our guest author. She has some practical advice for parents concerning social media and pornography addiction.
I have twenty years of experience in education and I’m a mother of three. So, I can safely say that phones with social media should never have been invented. Phones, yes! We, as adults, love them but are just as addicted as children. Once a child has one, they are sucked down the proverbial rabbit hole, never to talk to you again.
Continue reading “Preventing Social Media Addiction”
Our home owner association recently put a locked fence around the amenities in our neighborhood. We have a pool, a sports area, and a small playground for young ones and their families. Our fees pay for the upkeep and allow us these perks. Each home received a fob for our key chain, which unlocks the fence and allows us into these “members only” places.
Continue reading “Do Internet Filters Really Prevent Children from Seeing Pornography?”
I’m thrilled to have John Fort of Be Broken Ministries back with us. This time he’s talking about masturbation. I have to admit this subject is still difficult for me to address, so I’m grateful John is willing to give us some suggestions. Read to the end for more resources, and check out his bio for information regarding his newly-revised book.
When I speak to parents on subjects related to talking with kids about sex or pornography, I always know I will be asked one question during Q&A. That question is, “What are we supposed to say about masturbation?” Before I answer, my own question would be, what is it about masturbation that seems to cause so much anxiety among Christian parents? I believe parents carry some level of baggage related to their own past that plays into fears about their kids.
Continue reading “8 Tips to Addressing Masturbation with Kids”