Kids Judge Their Bodies – Part I

our bodies Linda Stewart

My friend Linda Stewart is our guest for this post. She talks with us about how kids (and, let’s face it, us too) judge themselves based on their bodies. I learned some things in this post, and I hope you do, too! Linda co-wrote Before the Sex Talk: A Theology of the Body Approach for Parents and Mentors and is a board member of Sexual Integrity Leaders. (I’m speaking at their summit in May 2024. I highly recommend attending!)

We’ve learned to judge ourselves and our bodies. Messages that our value is based on our physical appearance seem to circulate in the air around us! We’ve also learned to judge others the same way, and we tend to pass what we’ve learned down to our kids, even if we don’t mean to. How can we stop passing these messages onto our children and replace the damaging thoughts that shape our and our kids’ self-assessments?

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You Matter

My son exited his bedroom and walked toward the front door.

“Are you leaving?”

Silence.

“Are you going to work?”

He turned to me, stared, then gave a quick nod.

“Okay. . . Have a great day!”

The door slammed.

I sighed. I felt invisible, unnoticed, and depleted.

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Kids, Let’s Talk About Sex, Part 2

Ashley Jameson of Pure Desire Ministries continues her discussion with us. Thanks, Ashley, for helping us talk about the brain, the body, and healthy boundaries.

Last time we talked about creating a culture of grace in our homes through being vulnerable and sharing our stories with our kids. It’s not always easy to create an environment where our kids know it’s safe to talk with us about anything! We so badly want our kids not to struggle. Here are a few things that helped me change the atmosphere in my house which allowed my kids to feel safer to come to me with their questions. 

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Planning for the Holiday Break

holiday break planning banner

Your kids have two weeks off for the holiday break and you’re worried. What will they do? How will they spend their time? Will everyone get along? And, will they stay out of trouble?

Long breaks are bittersweet. We love the extra time with our children, but the lack of routine can make for difficult days. So, before school lets out and families gather, make some plans. Plan how your children will spend their days, and plan to protect their devices.

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Thank You

My 26-year-old had an issue but is doing well now . . .

My son wrote me a long letter explaining his predicament . . .

A family in our congregation is dealing with this right now . . .

My 31-year-old has had problems. I’m not sure how he’s doing . . .

I just found out my college-aged daughter . . .

I’m raising my grandson who deals with this problem . . .

I heard these comments while attending a conference recently. Some wanted to talk further about the issues their child had or has had with pornography. Some simply mentioned their struggle in passing. A few have children who now walk in freedom from their habit. A few are still in the midst. But all these parents and grandparents followed their initial statement with, “Thank you.”

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Scrolling by Example

phone Ashley Jameson Pure Desire Ministries Scrolling by Example

I met Ashley Jameson at the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit a few months ago. She’s energetic and passionate about helping spouses through her role at Pure Desire Ministries and at her church. She’s making an impact. I asked Ashley what advice she has for parents and she sent this post on healthy phone use, first published here. I love her authenticity and desire to pass on some words of wisdom to other parents.

I have a secret hiding place, between my fridge and cabinet, where I can sneak on my phone and not be seen by my kids or husband. You may be asking yourself, “Why does this grown woman to hide from her husband and kids?” 

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Sexpectations Book Launch Day and Hopeful Mom’s Birthday

Sexpectations Hopeful Mom celebration

Cue the confetti. Sound the trumpets. Let’s celebrate!

Hopeful Mom is 5 years old.

This is the 100th blog post.

AND . . . Sexpectations: Helping the Next Generation Navigate Healthy Relationships releases today.

That’s enough to get up and dance.

When I started Hopeful Mom (originally called Difficult Conversations) five years ago, I didn’t know the impact it would have. All I knew was that I had a burden for other parents struggling with pornography in their home and couldn’t stay silent any longer. I wrote under a pen name for two years.

In August 2020, my family gave me permission to use my given name and Hopeful Mom gained traction. In October of that year, I attended a writers conference and, through the conference, landed an agent. In November 2021, I signed a book contract with Leafwood Publisher and . . .

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5 Phases of Tech Training

I’m so excited to introduce you to my friend, Sarah Siegand. Sarah and I met through Safeguard Alliance. I love her enthusiasm and desire to help parents learn about technology. I know you will find her post on tech training informative and motivating. (She didn’t mention it in her bio, so I will . . . She wrote a book! Find it here.)

Technology isn’t going anywhere, and today’s parents need a solid strategy for how their families will either embrace or reject the influence of tech. If the goal is to raise kids who are not enslaved to technology, we must have a long and a short view of intentional strategies at every age and stage. It requires us to train them!

The following phases will help you locate where you are in the training process for each individual child or teen you’re parenting and what skills you will need to build next. 

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How Can You Help Your Teen with A Pornography Addiction?

There’s a special place in my heart for Dr. John Thorington of Restoring Hearts Counseling. When my son came clean regarding his porn use, I called Focus on the Family. They directed me to Dr. Thorington. Through our conversation and his resources I learned my son had a pornography addiction. I’m so grateful for the time he took to help me and our family. I recently re-connected with Dr. Thorington when he graciously endorsed my book, Sexpectations. (Read his endorsement here.) I’m pleased to introduce him to you!

Internet pornography is quite powerful in capturing the attention of the teen brain. This power can be understood in considering how easy it for people to:

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