Tag: porn

Posted on

Partnering to Protect Kids from Online Dangers

church and technology

My good friend Sarah Siegand is with us again. She’s an expert at helping parents with their tech issues. She recently launched a book for student ministry leaders. In this post she reminds us that the Church is not immune from technology problems, so we should speak up and ask the Church to stand with us in this fight.

Research continues to prove that excessive screen time and exposure to harmful content have created a mental, emotional, and spiritual health epidemic among young people. From the former U.S. Surgeon General to congressional leaders across party lines, from Big Tech whistleblowers to grieving parents, the message is clear: our kids are in crisis.

Continue reading “Partnering to Protect Kids from Online Dangers”
Posted on

How to Help Your Teen Process Sexual Desire

I’m thrilled to introduce Ben Williams of 423 Communities. As the Director of Youth and Families – through 423 Next – he coaches teens, trains, and runs support groups. I love Ben’s heart and passion for teens and how he comes alongside them as someone who has been in their position. Ben offers great advice to parents in helping teens deal with sexual desire. I highly recommend checking out 423 Next here, especially if you have a teen struggling with pornography. By the way, 423 Next has a coach for girls, and I partner with 423 Communities to coach parents.

My Story

I vividly remember desiring privacy from my parents as a teenager. I would spend hours in my room watching YouTube, Netflix, and playing video games. When I was out with my family, I was not present. Instead of looking my parents in the eyes, I was looking down at my phone. Instead of listening to the conversation, I was listening to my headphones. Instead of talking to them, I was usually texting some girl from school.

Continue reading “How to Help Your Teen Process Sexual Desire”
Posted on

It’s Not About You: Understanding Teens and Their Choices

understanding teen behavior

“I can’t believe he’s doing this to me. He knows I hate when he watches porn.”

“She purposefully went behind my back and purchased a burner phone after I explicitly forbid any more screen time. She’s trying to drive me crazy.”

“My son ignored everything I told him and watched pornography even after I warned him about the dangers. He just wants to hurt me.”

Many parents have thoughts like these when they discover a child’s unwanted behavior—whether it’s watching inappropriate videos, ignoring screen time limits, or interacting with strangers online. We feel, at some point, as if our child stabbed us in the back.

Continue reading “It’s Not About You: Understanding Teens and Their Choices”
Posted on

Porn vs. Healthy Sex: A Parent’s Guide

porn vs healthy sex banner at Hopeful Mom

The average age of first exposure to pornography is 8 to 12 years old. Many preteens and teens watch porn for their sex education. They are curious and wander into unknown territory they don’t comprehend.

Our job as parents is to educate our children about the harms of pornography, just as we would discuss the dangers of running in the street, touching a hot stove, or taking someone else’s prescription drugs. Yet, it’s not as effective to simply forbid certain behaviors; we should also explain benefits of healthy sexual activity.

I often tell students, “We want you to have a healthy, thriving sex life . . . Not today. At the right time with the right person.”

Continue reading “Porn vs. Healthy Sex: A Parent’s Guide”
Posted on

BLAST Triggers: What’s Driving Your Teen’s Behavior?

BLAST triggers

Some run to drugs. Some shop. Some watch pornography.

How do you cope when your anxiety spirals and you’re desperate for relief? What’s your default reaction when triggered?

How about your teen? What sets them off and where do they turn?

I eat. My food of choice was ice cream until stomach problems forced me to give it up. Now it’s Ghirardelli chocolate. The dark chocolate mint squares. (Pause with me and mentally savor this treat.)

Continue reading “BLAST Triggers: What’s Driving Your Teen’s Behavior?”
Posted on

5 Steps to Talk to Your Kids About Porn

Greta Eskridge It's Time to Talk to Your Kids About Porn

Greta Eskridge is here! What a privilege! Greta’s recently released book, It’s Time to Talk To Your Kids About Porn, quickly became a best seller. Her topic is timely and essential. And, like most of you who’ve been here at Hopeful Mom know, one I’m passionate about. I recommend Greta’s book and listening to our discussion How Do I Respond When My Child Sees Porn? on her podcast. For those who’ve learned their child has seen pornography, I recommend the following downloadable booklets in the My Child Saw Porn series: You Are Not Alone and What Do I Do Now? And please be sure to subscribe for the FREE PDF: 7 Steps After Your Child Sees Porn.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. —Psalm 34:18 

It’s what every parent dreads and the message I get every week: “My child has been exposed to pornography. I feel sick. I am devastated. What do I do?” The details vary—confessed or discovered, accidental exposure or sought out, at a friend’s house or at home, younger child or older teen, on an unlocked device or fully protected one—but the end result is always the same:  devastated, heartbroken parents and a struggling child. 

This doesn’t have to be the end of the story. There is hope and healing available for your child, and it starts with you. Your posture in this moment makes a tremendous difference in how your child will process this event.  

Continue reading “5 Steps to Talk to Your Kids About Porn”
Posted on

The Impact of Betrayal Trauma on Parents

Healthy relationships thrive on trust. When one person betrays the other, that trust breaks and the relationship’s solid foundation crumbles. Betrayal trauma may follow.

Several years into my son’s ordeal, I read about the effects of betrayal trauma in Dr. Sheri Keffer’s book Intimate Deception. She states, “Trauma is a reaction of our bodies, minds, and emotions to a deeply distressing event. . . . Like a death, earthquake, or car crash, the event happens suddenly and changes us without warning, causing us to feel shock, denial, agony, terror, or helplessness.” Keffer explains that these reactions can be ongoing if the deception (betrayal) is ongoing.[i]

The description rang true. I can’t enumerate all the ramifications of my son’s deceit, but I remember the sting of being lied to. At the time, I could not have imagined this child ever lying to me.

Continue reading “The Impact of Betrayal Trauma on Parents”
Posted on

Ripple Effects of a Child’s Porn Use on Parents

“When my son’s indiscretions surfaced, I felt like I’d been punched in the gut and then kicked while down. I was unknowingly in a war zone, and when the bomb exploded, I was hit. The fallout of his conduct landed on me.”[i]

If you’re a parent, grandparent, or sibling of a child who watches (or watched) pornography, you’re likely hurt, sad, and/or mad. You may experience shame and guilt as well. That’s understandable.

Ripple effects of youth who watch pornography extend to those close by.

Continue reading “Ripple Effects of a Child’s Porn Use on Parents”
Posted on

A Millennial Talks About Internet Filters, Pornography, and Addiction

“I was first introduced to online sexting with strangers when I was 12 years old through an online video game on my computer.” Austin Couture, now 29, eventually developed an addiction. “I could not stop seeking out pornography and women to chat with online or the obsessive and compulsive masturbation that always went along with it. At one of my lowest points, I felt isolated, alone, confused, faulty and irreparably broken. I believed that I was an emotionless, guilt-ridden zombie that was forever cursed to live in despair with these sexual secrets.”[1] Austin and I met at a Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit and connected further when I was a guest on his podcast. I asked Austin to give us some insight from his perspective on addiction, talking, and using an internet filter. He had the following advice:

Continue reading “A Millennial Talks About Internet Filters, Pornography, and Addiction”
Posted on

Judy Blume Answered Our Questions, Google Answers Theirs

Judy Blume blog post title

“We must—we must—we must increase our bust!” I grew up reading Judy Blume books. This line from Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret is part of my permanent memory. In the book, Margaret learned a lot about herself and hit puberty in the span of 192 pages. She and her friends were determined to look like the girls they saw in Playboy. They vow to do exercises to increase their bust size while chanting this memorable mantra. Throughout the book they each acquire bras and come of age by finally getting their period.

I learned a lot from Judy Blume while coming of age myself.

Continue reading “Judy Blume Answered Our Questions, Google Answers Theirs”
Privacy Policy Proudly powered by WordPress