supporting parents in an online world
What is porn? How do you define it? It’s not as clear-cut as you think. What was a known pornographic photo in 1960 is an average marketing image today. When I walk through the mall I’m liable to see photographs similar to those previously seen only in magazines under a bathroom sink. And I don’t even have to go into the store to see them. I am hassled by the retailer through pictures as I walk by the storefront.
Continue reading “The Definition of Pornography or Porn”
Before I found out pornography was in my home, I believed (and I know I’m not alone in this belief) our household was safeguarded from sexting and pornography. I thought my boys knew better, understood our rules, shared our morals and Christian beliefs, and had no interest. I do not hang my head or apologize when I say this. It’s just a fact. I was blind. I was uneducated. I chose not to know or understand. Had I read the statistics, I would have needed to face the truth.
Continue reading “The Most Shocking Statistic About Pornography”
In a previous post, I referred to these seven stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance. Recently, I explored these stages more thoroughly and identified the process I walked through when I first heard of my son’s fascination with pornography.
Continue reading “Stages of Grief – Bargaining”
One night I heard my husband slip out of bed and leave our bedroom at 4 a.m. A few minutes later I got up and opened the door to our room to see what he was doing. He was sitting on the couch with his computer in his lap. I glanced at the screen and saw he was reading email. I wondered why he was up at night.
Continue reading “What Keeps You Up At Night?”
My son will leave for college in the fall. This thought scares me and makes me proud. He is an amazing young man, and I am proud of his achievements and excited for him to begin adulthood. But I am scared he will slip back into old behaviors without his “Mommy” around to protect him.
Continue reading “Small Steps: Self-Discipline and Safety Nets”
I’d like to share a link to an article I read, entitled True Story: My Struggle With Shame Fueled My Struggle With Porn. The organization that published the article, Fight the New Drug, is committed to informing the public about the effects of pornography. This article is written by an 18 year old who struggled with pornography for 6 years. I like the article because his story is relatable and real. As a parent, it is helpful to hear another teenager’s perspective–his struggles and feelings.
Continue reading “Porn Users Feel Shame”
I just spoke with the wife of a porn addict. The writing is on the wall. The last chance was the last of the last chances. She can’t take it anymore. The marriage is over. She is sick of the empty promises and lack of desire to choose her over his addiction. She’s exhausted, worn out, done. She’s told him he has a week to get out. Continue reading “What’s A Parent To Do?”
Since discovering my son’s addiction I have wrestled with the question of whether to get involved with the fight against pornography. Or rather, what my response should be to this growing epidemic. There is an X-rated store (Is that what you call it?) three miles from our home. (How these places stay in business with all the online stuff is beyond me.) Every time I pass it, my blood pressure rises, and I pray it will go out of business. Well, on good days, I pray it will go out of business. On bad days, my prayer isn’t that pretty.
Continue reading “Get Involved with the Fight Against Pornography?”
I felt my back pocket. It wasn’t there.
I looked in my purse. It wasn’t there.
I looked in the console of the van. It wasn’t there either.
I had left my phone at home. Ugh! My heart raced a little at the thought. Continue reading “Triggers”
I am a mom of four and have been homeschooling for nineteen years. Over the past two decades I have teetered back and forth on whether parents should tell their children about the birds and the bees. And if they do tell them, what age is appropriate to have “the talk”? In Christian circles you will find a myriad of answers on when and how to expose your children to this subject. The spectrum widens in homeschooling circles because, as home school families, we have slightly more control over their environment. But let’s not kid ourselves; no amount of sheltering short of never leaving the house and having zero access to a TV or computer or phone will keep our children from hearing about sex. And if we think we can keep our kiddos from hearing about it, we are only deceiving ourselves. Continue reading “Difficult Conversations: Talk About the Effects of Pornography”