supporting parents in an online world
What’s the trick to parenting adult children? Even after two of mine had left home, I still didn’t think I knew the secret.
The summer before my son left for college, I fretted about his wellbeing. Would he make friends? Would he flourish? Would he fail? Would his emotions plummet? Would he fall back into his pornography addiction? Or would he leave that old habit behind? And how involved should I be with his college life?
Continue reading “Parenting Adult Children: The Magic Age of Eighteen”
I was immediately attracted to Jessica’s enthusiasm, amazing smile, and upbeat attitude when I met her at the 2021 Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation Online Global Summit. She is an encourager, urging me and others to continue working to make this world a safer place for our children. It’s my privilege to welcome her to Difficult Conversations to talk about child protection online and in-person during the holidays.
For many families globally the holidays are some of the most vulnerable times for children and families. Excitement permeates the atmosphere and charity fills the hearts of many. The joy of the season and the anticipation of joining family and friends causes a false sense of safety, leaving children exposed to predators and child sexual abuse material.
Continue reading “Holiday Child Protection”
I grew up thinking people who watched pornography were shady characters. They were the ones slipping in the back door of the video store—the creepy people who couldn’t control their urges. I’m not sure where these thoughts came from, but I’m not alone. The culture is changing, but until a few years ago this picture was a good representation of how most of society saw the use of pornography, especially those who watched alone.
This stigma contributes to our regretful feedback as parents when we learn of our child’s relationship with pornography.
Continue reading “Responding to Porn Use: Love, Not Shame”
I am overly excited to introduce Smith Alley, a high school student boldly talking about the effects of pornography and social media on youth today. I asked Smith Alley to write a guest post because I believe it’s vital we understand what our children are facing. His willingness to self-identify as someone who struggled with porn at a young age is courageous and inspiring. If you want to hear more from Smith, check out his presentation, Peeking Through the Eyes of Youth.
I have a product that will make you happier than the day before. Day in and day out without fail. Are you interested? I hate to tell you this product isn’t something you can add into your Amazon shopping cart with one click. It won’t be found at your local grocery store and isn’t even sold at the largest of Costco’s.
Continue reading “This Boy Is Me: Smith Alley’s Story”
Gone are the days of taking the silent approach. Parents can no longer afford to wait to educate their children about sex and pornography. They can’t rely on peers or nature to do the job for them.
What I’ve learned while researching the effects of technology on our children and their brains is mind-blowing. The world they live in is nothing like yesteryear. This fact is neither positive nor negative. It just is.
Continue reading “Why Educate Your Child About Porn?”
It’s my privilege to introduce Anne Kerr as a guest here at Difficult Conversations. Anne has years of experience helping parents talk about sexuality with their children. I love her matter-of-fact attitude and specific tips for parents on how to communicate with your children. Her wisdom is invaluable.
You Have a Superpower. It’s your story. Here’s why your kids need to hear it.
You Have a Superpower. It's your story. And your kids need to hear it. #superpower #yourstory Share on XIn your growing-up years did you experience things related to sexuality that were embarrassing, or hurtful, or even destructive? What about a sexual encounter that left you curious, or aroused, or perhaps wanting more?
Continue reading “You Have a Superpower: Your Story”
When my son was sixteen, he came to a crossroads in his life. His belief system surrounding pornography did not line up with his behavior, and he had to decide once and for all how to resolve this dilemma.
He wouldn’t have reached this point if he hadn’t realized there was a problem. That comprehension came through communication and education, sprinkled with lots of love from us, his parents . . . as well as patience.
Continue reading “Communication Tips”
I met Krista when we were both speakers at an online conference for thehopeline last Spring. When I saw her session, I felt the compassion she has for teen girls. She listens to them, equips them, and offers them hope through Girl Above. I asked her to talk with the parents here, and I love how she especially encourages us to look beyond the behavior and identify the root issues of porn use.
If you are a parent in 2021 and have a child over the age of 8 years old, there is a huge chance you are struggling to navigate your child’s exposure to or use of pornography. This does not make you a bad parent; this makes you a 2021 parent. Unfortunately, for the first time in the history of the world, our children carry a free and unlimited drug in their pocket. This drug is internet pornography, and their access to smartphones has made the problem nearly impossible to address. In 2019 there were over 33 trillion views on porn sites. The train has left the station, and parents are now just trying to keep up.
After ten years of working with teens, my best advice for parents is to look WAY beyond the behavior and identify the root issues motivating the behavior. Once you have identified the root causes, become someone with whom your child can have in-depth conversations to address and heal those areas of their life.
Continue reading “IDENTIFY THE ROOT ISSUES OF PORN USE”
My daughter stepped onto the javelin runway. The field appeared to be marked incorrectly, but she was determined to be in the top six and claim her place at nationals.
Her warm up throw sailed out of the sector (the area inside the lines indicating if the javelin lands “inbounds” or not). Her brother walked over and coached her on how to correct her throw to accommodate the wonky lines. For her, a leftie, this proved to be more difficult than the rest of the competitors because the makeshift right line was blowing in the wind, altering what was “inbounds” as the direction of the wind changed.
Continue reading “Celebrate the Wins”
I am super excited to introduce this guest. Jessica Harris, author of Beggar’s Daughter: From the Rags of Pornography to the Riches of Grace, has an amazing reputation as one of the first women to speak up about her pornography problem – paving the way for other women to come clean. Through her website and speaking engagements, she equips women who struggle with pornography and helps parents of daughters understand this is not just a male issue. I admire Jessica and her willingness to be a leader in this area. I’m sure you will glean some great information from this article.
I first found pornography when I was 13 years old. What started as honest research for school, became a defining moment in my life. As I scrolled through scientific video clips, a dark thumbnail caught my eye. I clicked on it and stared in awe and terror at the scenes of violent hardcore pornography playing in front of me. When I attempted to close the window, more popped up. Within minutes, I was ushered onto a webpage filled with hardcore pornography, and my world forever changed.
Continue reading “Understanding Daughters and Pornography”