A Teacher’s Perspective

I’m thrilled to introduce Lauren Crews. I asked her to talk with us parents about her observations as a teacher. Wow! I definitely learned a few things. I hope you are enlightened and inspired to keep talking.

As a public-school teacher, I’m in a unique position and privy to behaviors parents often don’t see, and I overhear some startling conversations. The struggle is: What do I do? Do I confront the student? Do I tell the parent? Do I keep it to myself? I would love to share with the parents what I know, but I’m bound to respect the privacy of all my students. I also cannot assume we share the same moral standards, so I am often viewed as a busybody. I also wrestle with privacy issues. To what extent does privacy extend to a child? There’s the rub.

I will say that I handle each situation as if I were dealing with my child. When I have the hard conversations, I tell my high school student that I’m talking to them as Lauren, not Ms. Crews their teacher. I’m sharing how I feel as a parent, not as a teacher. I tell them what I’d do if they were my kiddo, not as a representative of the school. I always tell them that if they are putting themselves in danger or doing something illegal, I’m obligated to report it. If they are involved in activity that must be reported, I ask them how they want to walk through the reporting process. I give them grace and opportunity to control what they can, so they are willing to move forward.  

I share this perspective with the hope that it will help you continue the hard conversations with your children. Despite your best intention, your religious beliefs, and how well you think you know your children, they spend eight hours a day in an environment that holds a powerful influence on them. You are not there to guide and watch over them, and their desire for independence and acceptance often overpowers your parenting.

These are my observations:

• Many students have anonymous social media accounts their parents are unaware of.
• Some of my students have second phones their parents are unaware of. I’ve had a student ask if she could leave her extra phone in my class overnight, so her parents didn’t find out about it. The phone was sent to her by an out-of-state boyfriend.
• The kids text in code so if someone reads the text it looks innocent. “Let’s meet for lunch” could very well have a shady twist.
• Despite cameras and monitoring the hallways, sex and drug use happens at school.
• Being bisexual is completely acceptable.  
• They live for social media, and it will affect their behavior.
• They are addicted to their phones.
• Many, including the honor students, don’t give cheating or plagiarizing a second thought.
• Students are losing the ability to be apathetic.
• Anime is not an innocent cartoon.
• Tarot cards are just a game and they have them at school.
• The kids will block the school’s phone number on their parent’s phones so parents won’t get the calls when they are absent. Then they can skip and parents are oblivious. 

I promise it isn’t as terrible as it seems. Your public schools are filled with believers who pray fervently for your children and will challenge their thinking towards these behaviors. As a parent who survived the teen years and as a high school educator I have a valuable motto, “Trust but verify.” Have those hard conversations with your child. Have them often. But take the time to verify their stories and reasoning.

Read Lauren’s bio and connect with her.

Please share this post with your friends through social media or email. Word of mouth is the best way to impact others. Be sure to connect with me on Facebook and Instagram, and subscribe for updates on my upcoming book and to receive a FREE resource: 7 ACTIONS WHEN YOUR CHILD HAS SEEN PORN. Thank you!

About the author

Lauren Crews

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Lauren Crews works full-time as a public high school teacher and has enjoyed doing so for 15 years. Her book, Strength of a Woman: Why You Are Proverbs 31, looks at the Proverbs passage through the imagery of the Hebrew alphabet and won the Christian Market Book Award for 2020. She is the momma of three fabulous young adult children and Mimi to two spunky little boys. Lauren lives in Jacksonville with her husband and two brown dogs who have their humans well trained.

Lauren can be found on Instagram and Twitter at LaurenCrewsA2z and at www.laurencrews.com

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