Tag: porn

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Love Fiercely During Your Battle with Porn

A mom died. A mom of a 19-year-old girl. A mom who was unable to communicate for six weeks because of a coma brought on by COVID. A mom whose body just could not recover. And now a daughter left without a mother.

My heart aches for a motherless girl, barely raised. And I wonder about the last interaction. Was it full of flurry and panic as mom called an ambulance and left in a whirlwind? Or was she quietly dropped at the hospital assuming she would be home soon? Was she lucid enough to tell her daughter about the love that overflowed for her? Did she know they would be the last spoken words? That time was not on her side? Did she give enough, say enough, do enough . . . so her daughter would know the deep love a mother has for her daughter? Did she love fiercely? . . . Or will her daughter always wonder? What will her daughter remember? What will that lingering memory be?

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Not My Child’s Job to Protect Me

umbrella protection

I saw the questioning look in his eyes. I interpreted it as, “Should I tell her? How will she respond?” I had seen that look in his sister’s eyes before, too. It typically appeared when there was something that needed to be said but no one wanted to be the one to upset mom. Someone put a scratch in the floor when they dropped a utensil. A red sock turned the white clothes pink. (Okay, I made that up. We’re not particular about the laundry, and this has never happened to me.) One son backed into the other son’s vehicle.  Bad news. Upsetting information. An incriminating tale.

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Today’s Porn: Not Your Father’s (Grandfather’s) Playboy

Not Playboy

My son recently gave me permission to write in my given name, rather than a pen name. I’ve written using a pen name for his comfort. (And, let’s face it, for mine too!) I didn’t want to taint anyone’s view of him . . . or our family. But we are five years into this journey, and our household recognizes the need to rip off that Band-Aid. The topic of pornography has been kept under a lid for too long. If we are to educate and communicate within our circles and community, I need to be free to write in my given name. Still, it’s a bit awkward to have your mom announce to the world your past behaviors, ones that have been kept close within the family for so long. So I applaud his courage and bravery.

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I Get Overwhelmed

holding hands to capture longings being fulfilled

I attended the 2020 Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation Online Global Summit (that’s a mouthful!) last week with 15,000 (Yep!) other attendees. It was eye-opening. I listened to representatives from Covenant Eyes, Protect Young Minds, Fight the New Drug, and Reach 10. I sat through presentations entitled “From Problems to Program: Engaging Parents to Protect Their Kids from the Harms of Pornography,” “Our Kids Online: Porn, Predators, and How to Keep Them Safe,” and “Responding to the Unseen Victims of Sexual Exploitation.” I felt uplifted and ready to fight one moment, only to feel overwhelmed, daunted and ready to hide my head in the sand the next moment.

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In the Trenches with Your Child

My son struggled with pornography for nine years. His fascination began when he was nine or ten and turned into a full-blown addiction sometime before he was fourteen. His dad and I found out about it at that point and vowed to get in the trenches with him to help him . Unfortunately, he wasn’t completely honest with us, so he fell back into his ways fairly quickly—even though we talked with him, added filters to our devices, and updated our house rules.

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Hope During the Coronavirus Quarantine: You Can Do It!

Photo by Sarah Ardin on Unsplash

I want to encourage you to stay strong.

Many of us are home with our kids because of the Coronavirus quarantine. Our routines have been turned upside down and our comfort zone has been pierced. One of the biggest questions on my mind (and possibly yours) is: Will this change cause my child to turn back to their addiction?

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Steps to Help Your Child with a Pornography Issue

image of two hands - one hand reaching to help the other
Photo by Austin Kehmeier on Unsplash

Parents wonder how much control they should have over their children.

As our kids mature, we should allow them the chance to succeed on their own. However, it is our job to teach, protect, and discipline as needed.

If you are wondering if you should step in and be more involved, more in their space, more controlling after you learn your child has a pornography issue, my answer is “yes.” Of course, stating it in those terms sounds negative, but the manner in which you become more active does not have to be negative. Think of it more in terms of connecting, being engaged, and participating more in your child’s life.

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The Definition of Pornography or Porn

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

What is porn? How do you define it? It’s not as clear-cut as you think. What was a known pornographic photo in 1960 is an average marketing image today. When I walk through the mall I’m liable to see photographs similar to those previously seen only in magazines under a bathroom sink. And I don’t even have to go into the store to see them. I am hassled by the retailer through pictures as I walk by the storefront.

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The Most Shocking Statistic About Pornography

Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

Before I found out pornography was in my home, I believed (and I know I’m not alone in this belief) our household was safeguarded from sexting and pornography. I thought my boys knew better, understood our rules, shared our morals and Christian beliefs, and had no interest. I do not hang my head or apologize when I say this. It’s just a fact. I was blind. I was uneducated. I chose not to know or understand. Had I read the statistics, I would have needed to face the truth.

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