My son exited his bedroom and walked toward the front door.
“Are you leaving?”
Silence.
“Are you going to work?”
He turned to me, stared, then gave a quick nod.
“Okay. . . Have a great day!”
The door slammed.
I sighed. I felt invisible, unnoticed, and depleted.
Parenting a preteen or teen can be exhausting. Depressing even. And we may wonder if we really matter. Are our efforts worth it? Are we making a difference?
Even though your child may not express it, you are making a difference.
On your worst day, you matter. On the day your daughter disrespects you, you matter. On the day your son ignores you, you matter. And on the day you learn your teen fell prey to an addiction or habitual habit, propelling them down a wrong path, you matter.
Parents: Your Presence Matters. Your Voice Matters. Your Ideas Matter. Your Efforts Matter. You Matter #healthyrelationships #keeptalking #fightthenewdrug Click To TweetYour Presence Matters – Teens may hide in their bedrooms or ignore us. But, even though they don’t show it or even realize it themselves, they need to know we are physically present. Be available. Listen intently. Pay attention. If a child treats you unkindly, politely redirect. When your feet want to flee, stay close. You are a necessary component in your child’s life.
Your Posture Matters – Our children are watching. Our mannerisms, facial expressions, and attitude are contagious. Our approach to life impacts those around us. Have meltdowns privately and remain calm in front of your children. Their behavior is not personal. They are finding themselves and need a safe place to both succeed and fail.
Your Voice Matters – How we state our position counts. Our voice inflection and rate of speech has an impact on our message. Speak softly. Respond kindly. Say “I love you” frequently.
Your Ideas Matter – Even when they roll their eyes or cut us off, they are listening. Treat them well, ask questions to help them think, offer advice, and be there whether they fall or prosper. Speak truth. Impart wisdom.
Your Efforts Matter – When they complain about our cooking, we can keep offering them food. When they grumble because we ask them to do chores, we can keep teaching them responsibility. When they break our rules, we can hold fast to our consequences. Their brains are still under construction, and our guidance is crucial.
Your Love Matters – When their friend backstabs, their bestie moves, or their romantic relationship crumbles, our love continues. Show them love. Teach them love. A well-placed hug or smile reminds them that they matter.
Your Existence Matters – Mom, Dad, Grandparent, Caregiver, Leader, Educator: You are special and unique. You are the only you that exists. You play an important role in your child’s life. You have a purpose. When no one else sees you or pays attention to your thoughts, you still matter. Keep trying. Keep loving your child. Keep talking. You’ve got this!
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About the author
For more about Barb, visit the About page. For information on Barb's book, Sexpectations: Helping the Next Generation Navigate Healthy Relationships, visit the Book page.