Blog - Page 5 of 13 - HOPEFUL MOM

February 6, 2023June 12, 2024

Recent Pornography Statistics and Why They Are Important

When I learned my son was watching pornography I had a difficult time reconciling how this could have happened in my home. As I’ve mentioned in other posts, we were a home-schooling family who taught right from wrong to our children. I assumed my children would make good choices as they matured.

Reading pornography statistics helped me deal with my emotions and what I perceived as inept parenting. Our situation wasn’t an anomaly; rather, it was common. When I learned how prevalent this behavior was, I managed to step outside myself and view this issue from a societal standpoint. Pornography is a public concern.

Last month, Common Sense Media released a report entitled 2022 Teens and Pornography. The 27-page report is a compilation and summary of a survey conducted with 1358 teens age 13 to 17.

January 23, 2023January 21, 2023

Tips to Keep Your Teens Safe From Online Sexual Exploitation and Harassment

Jenna Greenspoon of Kidas is here this month to talk with us about keeping our kids safe while they are gaming online. Since January is Human Trafficking Awareness month, it’s the perfect time to explore the dangers of sexual exploitation and harassment while gaming.

Children spend hours and hours online daily for both educational and non-educational purposes. You have likely seen this in your own home or read about it. Many parents worry about what their children are exposed to during their time online engaging in a hobby, such as gaming, and how they can prevent sexual exploitation and harassment from happening. They want to protect their children.

January 9, 2023January 1, 2023

3 Reasons Children Fear Talking to Parents About Porn

In October I spoke at the SHE Recovery Virtual Summit, an online conference for females who have struggled with pornography. During the summit, I ran a poll asking attendees this question:

Girls, what’s the biggest fear that keeps you (or kept you) from telling your parents about your pornography problem?

December 26, 2022December 29, 2022

Sexting: Helping Our Children Heal From This Epidemic

Kristen Miele of Sex Ed Reclaimed is with us to talk about sexting. I met Kristen when she and I were each presenting at the SHE Recovery Summit. Her topic was sexting, and I quickly asked her to share her expertise at Hopeful Mom. I’m so grateful she agreed.

Sending nudes. Sharing pics. Snapu puas (sending nudes, the words upside down and backwards!). Texxxting. ‘You up?.’

Slang and teenagers go together like pumpkins and pie. There are many terms for sexting: sending explicit photos over the phone, in messages, and online. As adults, we’ll never understand all of the current slang. We actually don’t need to. However, what we do need to know is how to help our children prevent and heal from the epidemic of sexting.

November 24, 2022November 21, 2022

Not My Kid – Online Safety

It’s a privilege to have Jen Hoey of Not My Kid here to talk with us about protecting children online. This is an appropriate topic as we head into the holiday season. If you are contemplating purchasing a device for your child for Christmas, pay special attention to Jen’s suggestions and read to the end for my recommendations on a first phone and filters.

“I did not for a moment think something like this could ever happen to my child. But it did, despite my vigilance.” This is the opening paragraph of the book I wrote about my daughter’s experience with an online predator. This event changed the trajectory of my life and was the catalyst for me getting involved in the prevention of online child exploitation by empowering parents through education as a Cyber Safety Parent Consultant.

The issue of online safety raises many responses from parents, but the most frequent I hear is “not my kid” or “my child will be left out.”

November 14, 2022November 4, 2022

Defining Love

What is love?

Yesterday, I asked this question in several ninth-grade classes. In each, at least one student said, “Fake.” Actually, to my surprise, most of the answers were pessimistic. And their faces showed signs of distrust.

Several teens implied that love is hard to define. Yes, defining love is confusing and tricky. The purpose of the question was to challenge them—to help them think about love and comprehend how complicated the word itself can be. The goal was to distinguish between a deep-seated meaningful relationship based on genuine love and one based on infatuation or lust.

October 31, 2022February 1, 2023

Is Porn Bad?

It’s my distinct privilege to introduce John D Foubert. I recently read his book, Protecting Your Children from Internet Pornography, and immediately asked him to share his knowledge at Hopeful Mom. I revere him as a distinguished expert on the harms of porn. He’s been researching, writing, and speaking on this problem for over two decades. In addition to his other jobs, he serves on the Board of Directors at National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE). I’m grateful he agreed to speak with us here.

The story of how I became interested in studying the harms of pornography is anything but typical. Many, if not most, of the authors and researchers in the area have a profound personal experience that led them to an interest in the topic. Though I have people close to me who have gotten tangled in the sinister web of pornography, my motivation for studying pornography came originally from anger that pornography was being celebrated by a community of which I was a part. Being the research nerd that I am, when I get angry, I do research. Thus began a crusade of sorts to identify, document, and publicly share the many harms of pornography with as many people as I can reach.

October 17, 2022October 18, 2022

Young Children See Pornography, Too

Anne,* a friend of mine, contacted me recently about her daughter. That’s not unusual. Since I began Hopeful Mom, formerly Difficult Conversations, many friends have called, messaged, or emailed me concerning their children’s, spouses’, and even parents’ pornography use. I’ve heard stories of parents scrolling through their child’s history and finding pornography, stories of parents learning their child was molested by someone engaged with pornography, and stories of parents who’ve battled pornography in their home for years.

I’m grateful for this space where friends, as well as people I’ve never met, are comfortable explaining their dilemmas and expressing their emotions.

Anne was compelled to tell her story at Hopeful Mom. So, we sat down to chat. The following is from that conversation.

October 3, 2022September 26, 2022

The Four Lane Freeway

I am over-the-top thrilled to have Dr. Sheri Keffer here with us. Her book, Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal, changed my life. While the book is primarily for wives who’ve experienced betrayal, the information also pertains to parents who’ve experienced betrayal. The following post, first published on Dr. Sheri Keffer’s website, is applicable to both spouses and parents. I’m sure you’ll find the article informative and transformative. ~Barb

Several months ago I was driving on the freeway. From the corner of my eye I noticed a car coming directly toward me. It was surreal. In a fraction of a second I was broadsided – no fault of my own. I just happened to be in the wrong lane at the wrong time.

It was unavoidable. The car crossed ALL four lanes in a horrible attempt to exit the freeway. My car was white. They didn’t see me. On impact, I saw black.