Emotions Archives - Page 2 of 5

March 28, 2022April 27, 2023

Grief: Processing and Comforting Others

How do we comfort those who are grieving? And how do we process our own grief? For many of us, our pulse quickens and our palms sweat when we think about grief—ours or that of someone we know. We dodge the situation as much as possible.

I don’t attend funerals. They’re awkward. I don’t know what to say, and I don’t know how to act. I’m nervous about seeing a dead body, and I’m fearful of tripping over my words while interacting with the family. I assume I’m not comfortable in this situation because I haven’t suffered the death of anyone extremely close to me.

But I have experienced grief.

February 28, 2022October 16, 2023

Four Steps for Parents to Heal from Shame

Our children feel shame when they watch pornography. But do we, as parents, experience shame? I certainly did.

My friend and I sat at my kitchen table drinking coffee.

She took a sip of her coffee and set her cup on the table. “Your children are amazing. You’ve done such a great job raising them.”

Our children were in the backyard hanging out. This fellow homeschool mom and I were close. Shortly after meeting, we quickly knew about each other’s extended family and history. Whenever we got together, the conversation flowed freely from one topic to another without pause. We laughed together and felt each other’s pain when issues surfaced. I was comfortable when I was around her. But I kept a part of my life hidden.

January 17, 2022July 10, 2023

Human Trafficking Awareness: What would you do to protect your loved ones from a predator?

Antoinette Villarreal Human Trafficking Awareness

I’m thrilled to introduce Antoinette Villarreal, creator and host of the InHumane Podcast, HotPie Media, LLC. Antoinette is dynamic and passionate about protecting children from human trafficking. She and I talked on her podcast, and I was inspired and motivated by her zeal. I love her message and vibrant personality. I’m grateful she stopped by during Human Trafficking Awareness Month to chat with us about this tragedy happening in our own backyards.

What would you do to protect your loved ones from a predator? Are there any limits? How would you prepare you and yours to prevent being a target to these monsters? How do we prepare our children and other young people from being forced, coerced, or lured by fraudulent promises?

November 15, 2021November 15, 2021

Responding to Porn Use: Love, Not Shame

I grew up thinking people who watched pornography were shady characters. They were the ones slipping in the back door of the video store—the creepy people who couldn’t control their urges. I’m not sure where these thoughts came from, but I’m not alone. The culture is changing, but until a few years ago this picture was a good representation of how most of society saw the use of pornography, especially those who watched alone.

This stigma contributes to our regretful feedback as parents when we learn of our child’s relationship with pornography.

August 23, 2021August 22, 2021

Sleep and Rest: Self-Care Musts

Our last day of vacation. We were leaving in a few hours. My family took off in one direction for a big breakfast. But I headed to the public square for a coffee and piece of carrot cake.

I meandered into the central park of Antigua, Guatemala and watched it come alive. Vendors set up their wares while tourists and locals grabbed a bite to eat and took selfies by the fountain. Lovers held hands or kissed on the park benches. A photographer snapped photos of a graduate in her cap and gown.

June 15, 2021June 15, 2021

The Impact of Betrayal Trauma

When we discover a child has been watching pornography we usually focus our attention on how to deal with the presenting problem: How do I help my child stop watching porn? While we notice the effect the news has on us—hurt, anger, guilt, shock, panic, anxiety, sadness, confusion—we typically try to push those feelings aside because the urgency of the situation demands we maintain our composure as best we can. We cannot stop parenting simply because we have our own trauma to tend to.

It was several years into my son’s ordeal before I read about the effects of betrayal trauma, the damage to a relationship experienced because of a betrayal. But even though I hadn’t heard the term or couldn’t enumerate all the ramifications his betrayal had on me, I remember being stunned that he had lied to me and deceived me.

May 17, 2021May 17, 2021

Your Child’s Pornography Use Does Not Define You

I’ve had bad days. Recently I got a flat on the way home from dropping my mom at the airport. I don’t know how to fix a flat or change a tire. Nor do I want to know. Thankfully, the air in the tire let out slowly, the indicator light came on, and we were in a town (although I couldn’t tell you which town, since I was blindly following Google maps). I pulled into a Circle K/Hardee’s combo and searched for a Good Samaritan. Within an hour a knowledgeable and generous gentleman had fixed the flat, and we were back on the road.

As bad days go, this one was mild. A minor bump in the proverbial road. I was grateful I was on my way home from the airport and hadn’t caused anyone to miss a flight. I was also thankful I didn’t need to be anywhere in particular. But I haven’t always maintained a positive outlook when my schedule has been disrupted with these types of inconveniences. I’ve matured with age. I’ve learned not to allow trivial changes in plans to upset my attitude.

A bad day does not define me. A bad day does not define you.

March 22, 2021March 23, 2021

Pornography in a Pandemic

I saw photos of my daughter and me moving my son out of his dorm room a year ago. They reminded me of the sadness and uncertainty I felt.

As we pass the anniversary of the COVID-19 pandemic declaration and walk through other anniversaries – quarantining, masks, intimate Easter celebrations at home, ordering groceries online, and learning the full meaning of Zoom meetings – it’s only fitting to reflect on how our households have changed in regard to technology and our response to everything online, as well as the dynamics within our homes. How have we grown? How have we regressed? And what about pornography in a pandemic?

February 21, 2021December 28, 2023

The Importance of Self-Care

Who has time for self-care when their child is struggling? As parents, we tend to put everyone else first, neglecting our own well-being. We take on guilt and lose our individuality. We assume we’ll have time to take care of ourselves after the crisis has passed. But while we’re frantically patching up the problems on the outside, our insides are deteriorating.

This week, I join Marilyn Evans at ParentsAward/Media Savvy Mom on a podcast to talk about the importance of self-care, especially when our child is in a crisis. Head over to the podcast here and listen to us discuss the importance of self-care. The show notes are listed below to give you a taste of what you’ll learn.

February 14, 2021August 22, 2021

A Focus Shift is Healthy

If I have to smile at one more person I might throw up.

I waited for the church service to begin, an emotional mess from my son’s recent confession. He was still watching pornography.

A still small voice. You can do this.

“Good morning. How are you?” Smile. Nod. Laugh. Direct them to the coffee area. Repeat.