Emotions Archives - Page 3 of 5

January 25, 2021December 29, 2023

Porn Fuels Human Trafficking

In recognition of Human Trafficking Awareness Month, let’s look at the link between pornography and human trafficking.

Porn fuels human trafficking and human trafficking fuels porn. Let’s explore this statement.

Human trafficking is modern day slavery. It’s buying and selling humans. It’s objectification. Traffickers turn people into products or commodities—not just in countries “over there,” but in the states also!

Right now, TODAY, people—men, women, and children—are illegally traded. They are recruited, controlled and used through deception, force, and coercion. You may be thinking: How is this possible? And Why should I care? Before I answer these questions, let’s look at some facts.

January 12, 2021August 15, 2022

Where is the Village? A Shout-out to Moms in the Digital Parenting Arena

I’m so excited to introduce Melody Bergman. I met Melody about six months ago and was immediately drawn to her beautiful smile and upbeat attitude. Melody is a fellow mom working to fight against pornography and its draw, especially in this new climate of digital parenting. She’s worked in this arena for years and knows her stuff. I love her writing style. I was hooked at the first paragraph of this piece and couldn’t stop reading until the end. I hope you find her words of wisdom encouraging and supportive.

Dim the lights. Here comes Mom, walking into a silent room where everyone’s faces are lit by the glow of little screens. The TV is on, but no one is watching. Handheld devices click and ping through the darkness. Mom starts talking, but no one hears. They are totally absorbed.

Does this sound familiar?

December 29, 2020March 13, 2024

Should Your Child’s Porn Use Anger You?

“I keep trying to hold back the anger I’m feeling.” Susan’s lower lip quivered. We sat on my back porch drinking coffee and watching the sunset. This wasn’t the first conversation we’d had about her child’s porn use.

She leaned in and whispered, “I know I shouldn’t be angry.”

I looked her in the eye. “I don’t think that’s true. Of course, you’re angry. That’s a perfectly acceptable response to the situation in your home.”

“Really? You think so?”

December 1, 2020April 14, 2023

How Do We Talk About Pornography?

Until a few years ago, I almost never used the word “pornography” or “porn.” When I found myself needing to refer to it, I whispered and practically choked on the word as it exited my mouth. I didn’t want to talk about pornography.

If I needed to refer to pornographic images, I said “inappropriate pictures” and assumed those around me knew what I meant. Even then, I typically lowered my voice, spoke to the ground, and blushed. I found it uncomfortable.

November 17, 2020November 17, 2020

A Safe Rebellion

I’m excited to introduce Christy Bass Adams. We met recently at a writers conference. When I told her I was writing a book for parents of children struggling with pornography, she said, “I was that kid.” I immediately knew I wanted her to guest post here for us. Even though Christy grew up in a different era, I believe hearing the thoughts and trials of the addicted child is helpful. Christy says her addiction was a safe rebellion. I hope her insight gives us some perspective from the other side so we can be better parents. And, mostly, I hope her recovery as an adult reminds us our children’s stories are not over. They can still heal, even if it’s not in our timing. ~ Barb

A Safe Rebellion

I was 12 years old when I first viewed pornography at a friend’s house. The curiosity only grew from there. A child of the 80’s and 90’s, the internet wasn’t really a thing yet, so late night cable programming, printed material, and email spam were the easy avenues to seek it out. Thankfully I lived in a safe home where my parents monitored TV programming and everything else we did. So it remained only a curiosity for a long time.

September 12, 2020December 30, 2023

Love Fiercely During Your Battle with Porn

A mom died. A mom of a 19-year-old girl. A mom who was unable to communicate for six weeks because of a coma brought on by COVID. A mom whose body just could not recover. And now a daughter left without a mother.

My heart aches for a motherless girl, barely raised. And I wonder about the last interaction. Was it full of flurry and panic as mom called an ambulance and left in a whirlwind? Or was she quietly dropped at the hospital assuming she would be home soon? Was she lucid enough to tell her daughter about the love that overflowed for her? Did she know they would be the last spoken words? That time was not on her side? Did she give enough, say enough, do enough . . . so her daughter would know the deep love a mother has for her daughter? Did she love fiercely? . . . Or will her daughter always wonder? What will her daughter remember? What will that lingering memory be?

August 30, 2020August 30, 2020

Not My Child’s Job to Protect Me

I saw the questioning look in his eyes. I interpreted it as, “Should I tell her? How will she respond?” I had seen that look in his sister’s eyes before, too. It typically appeared when there was something that needed to be said but no one wanted to be the one to upset mom. Someone put a scratch in the floor when they dropped a utensil. A red sock turned the white clothes pink. (Okay, I made that up. We’re not particular about the laundry, and this has never happened to me.) One son backed into the other son’s vehicle. Bad news. Upsetting information. An incriminating tale.

August 20, 2020August 20, 2020

Today’s Porn: Not Your Father’s (Grandfather’s) Playboy

My son recently gave me permission to write in my given name, rather than a pen name. I’ve written using a pen name for his comfort. (And, let’s face it, for mine too!) I didn’t want to taint anyone’s view of him . . . or our family. But we are five years into this journey, and our household recognizes the need to rip off that Band-Aid. The topic of pornography has been kept under a lid for too long. If we are to educate and communicate within our circles and community, I need to be free to write in my given name. Still, it’s a bit awkward to have your mom announce to the world your past behaviors, ones that have been kept close within the family for so long. So I applaud his courage and bravery.

August 1, 2020August 27, 2020

I Get Overwhelmed

holding hands to capture longings being fulfilled

I attended the 2020 Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation Online Global Summit (that’s a mouthful!) last week with 15,000 (Yep!) other attendees. It was eye-opening. I listened to representatives from Covenant Eyes, Protect Young Minds, Fight the New Drug, and Reach 10. I sat through presentations entitled “From Problems to Program: Engaging Parents to Protect Their Kids from the Harms of Pornography,” “Our Kids Online: Porn, Predators, and How to Keep Them Safe,” and “Responding to the Unseen Victims of Sexual Exploitation.” I felt uplifted and ready to fight one moment, only to feel overwhelmed, daunted and ready to hide my head in the sand the next moment.

June 24, 2020February 1, 2024

In the Trenches with Your Child

My son struggled with pornography for nine years. His fascination began when he was nine or ten and turned into a full-blown addiction sometime before he was fourteen. His dad and I found out about it at that point and vowed to get in the trenches with him to help him . Unfortunately, he wasn’t completely honest with us, so he fell back into his ways fairly quickly—even though we talked with him, added filters to our devices, and updated our house rules.