Parenting Archives - Page 5 of 12

November 24, 2022November 21, 2022

Not My Kid – Online Safety

It’s a privilege to have Jen Hoey of Not My Kid here to talk with us about protecting children online. This is an appropriate topic as we head into the holiday season. If you are contemplating purchasing a device for your child for Christmas, pay special attention to Jen’s suggestions and read to the end for my recommendations on a first phone and filters.

“I did not for a moment think something like this could ever happen to my child. But it did, despite my vigilance.” This is the opening paragraph of the book I wrote about my daughter’s experience with an online predator. This event changed the trajectory of my life and was the catalyst for me getting involved in the prevention of online child exploitation by empowering parents through education as a Cyber Safety Parent Consultant.

The issue of online safety raises many responses from parents, but the most frequent I hear is “not my kid” or “my child will be left out.”

November 14, 2022November 4, 2022

Defining Love

What is love?

Yesterday, I asked this question in several ninth-grade classes. In each, at least one student said, “Fake.” Actually, to my surprise, most of the answers were pessimistic. And their faces showed signs of distrust.

Several teens implied that love is hard to define. Yes, defining love is confusing and tricky. The purpose of the question was to challenge them—to help them think about love and comprehend how complicated the word itself can be. The goal was to distinguish between a deep-seated meaningful relationship based on genuine love and one based on infatuation or lust.

October 31, 2022February 1, 2023

Is Porn Bad?

It’s my distinct privilege to introduce John D Foubert. I recently read his book, Protecting Your Children from Internet Pornography, and immediately asked him to share his knowledge at Hopeful Mom. I revere him as a distinguished expert on the harms of porn. He’s been researching, writing, and speaking on this problem for over two decades. In addition to his other jobs, he serves on the Board of Directors at National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE). I’m grateful he agreed to speak with us here.

The story of how I became interested in studying the harms of pornography is anything but typical. Many, if not most, of the authors and researchers in the area have a profound personal experience that led them to an interest in the topic. Though I have people close to me who have gotten tangled in the sinister web of pornography, my motivation for studying pornography came originally from anger that pornography was being celebrated by a community of which I was a part. Being the research nerd that I am, when I get angry, I do research. Thus began a crusade of sorts to identify, document, and publicly share the many harms of pornography with as many people as I can reach.

October 17, 2022October 18, 2022

Young Children See Pornography, Too

Anne,* a friend of mine, contacted me recently about her daughter. That’s not unusual. Since I began Hopeful Mom, formerly Difficult Conversations, many friends have called, messaged, or emailed me concerning their children’s, spouses’, and even parents’ pornography use. I’ve heard stories of parents scrolling through their child’s history and finding pornography, stories of parents learning their child was molested by someone engaged with pornography, and stories of parents who’ve battled pornography in their home for years.

I’m grateful for this space where friends, as well as people I’ve never met, are comfortable explaining their dilemmas and expressing their emotions.

Anne was compelled to tell her story at Hopeful Mom. So, we sat down to chat. The following is from that conversation.

September 26, 2022July 5, 2023

What to Do When You Feel Alone in Your Struggles

The heaviness was too much to bear alone. I needed to relieve the burden, to share the heartache, to transfer the pain.

My husband and I had just learned our son had been watching pornography. Through an hour-long discussion, my son disclosed his indiscretions, revealing news we weren’t prepared for. Although the conversation had ended well, my brain and body were reacting.

The shock was fresh. The injury was raw. The grief was palpable.

September 12, 2022August 12, 2022

Preventing Social Media Addiction

I’d like to introduce Larissa Mills, Founder of Iparentgen.com, The Mental Game Academy and Digital & Mental Wellness HR Solutions, our guest author. She has some practical advice for parents concerning social media and pornography addiction.

I have twenty years of experience in education and I’m a mother of three. So, I can safely say that phones with social media should never have been invented. Phones, yes! We, as adults, love them but are just as addicted as children. Once a child has one, they are sucked down the proverbial rabbit hole, never to talk to you again.

August 22, 2022February 16, 2024

Do Internet Filters Really Prevent Children from Seeing Pornography?

Our home owner association recently put a locked fence around the amenities in our neighborhood. We have a pool, a sports area, and a small playground for young ones and their families. Our fees pay for the upkeep and allow us these perks. Each home received a fob for our key chain, which unlocks the fence and allows us into these “members only” places.

August 8, 2022August 10, 2022

8 Tips to Addressing Masturbation with Kids

I’m thrilled to have John Fort of Be Broken Ministries back with us. This time he’s talking about masturbation. I have to admit this subject is still difficult for me to address, so I’m grateful John is willing to give us some suggestions. Read to the end for more resources, and check out his bio for information regarding his newly-revised book.

When I speak to parents on subjects related to talking with kids about sex or pornography, I always know I will be asked one question during Q&A. That question is, “What are we supposed to say about masturbation?” Before I answer, my own question would be, what is it about masturbation that seems to cause so much anxiety among Christian parents? I believe parents carry some level of baggage related to their own past that plays into fears about their kids.

July 25, 2022July 16, 2022

Understanding Triggers in Pornography Use

“Why did you make this decision? And why do you keep going back when you know it’s harmful?” Most parents ask these questions when learning about a child’s indiscretions or habitual behavior. We are trying to discern their triggers.

In a previous post, we defined triggers as “anything, as an act or event, that serves as a stimulus and initiates or precipitates a reaction or series of reactions.”[i] In other words, a trigger is an outside stimulus that activates internal turmoil. In that post, we explored triggers parents face after learning of a child’s struggle with pornography.

In this post, we’ll examine the user’s triggers—to watch pornography or run to any type of vice or behavior to seek immediate comfort.