Category: Understanding

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Ripple Effects of a Child’s Porn Use on Parents

“When my son’s indiscretions surfaced, I felt like I’d been punched in the gut and then kicked while down. I was unknowingly in a war zone, and when the bomb exploded, I was hit. The fallout of his conduct landed on me.”[i]

If you’re a parent, grandparent, or sibling of a child who watches (or watched) pornography, you’re likely hurt, sad, and/or mad. You may experience shame and guilt as well. That’s understandable.

Ripple effects of youth who watch pornography extend to those close by.

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Kids Judge Their Bodies – Part I

our bodies Linda Stewart

My friend Linda Stewart is our guest for this post. She talks with us about how kids (and, let’s face it, us too) judge themselves based on their bodies. I learned some things in this post, and I hope you do, too! Linda co-wrote Before the Sex Talk: A Theology of the Body Approach for Parents and Mentors and is a board member of Sexual Integrity Leaders. (I’m speaking at their summit in May 2024. I highly recommend attending!)

We’ve learned to judge ourselves and our bodies. Messages that our value is based on our physical appearance seem to circulate in the air around us! We’ve also learned to judge others the same way, and we tend to pass what we’ve learned down to our kids, even if we don’t mean to. How can we stop passing these messages onto our children and replace the damaging thoughts that shape our and our kids’ self-assessments?

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Social Media Safety

Most of us use social media daily. Whether we’re messaging a friend in WhatsApp, looking up how to fix something on YouTube, or scrolling our Instagram feed, we’re enjoying the benefits of social media. But, is it safe? Parents ask me whether they should allow their preteens and teens to get SnapChat, TikTok, or the latest greatest social media app. In this guest post, John DiGirolamo gives us some pointers on social media safety for our children. The following is an adapted excerpt from John’s booklet, It’s Not About the Predator: A Parent’s Guide to Internet & Social Media Safety.

Is social media safe? The short answer is no. Social media (and the rest of the internet) isn’t safe. So, if you are going to allow your kid access, be aware of the dangers and pitfalls.

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Kids, Let’s Talk About Sex, Part 2

Ashley Jameson of Pure Desire Ministries continues her discussion with us. Thanks, Ashley, for helping us talk about the brain, the body, and healthy boundaries.

Last time we talked about creating a culture of grace in our homes through being vulnerable and sharing our stories with our kids. It’s not always easy to create an environment where our kids know it’s safe to talk with us about anything! We so badly want our kids not to struggle. Here are a few things that helped me change the atmosphere in my house which allowed my kids to feel safer to come to me with their questions. 

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Kids, Let’s Talk About Sex, Part 1

I’m excited to have Ashley Jameson of Pure Desire Ministries with us again. She has some practical advice for us on how to talk about sex with our children. This is part one in a two-part series.

As the mother of four kids, I recognize the fear and hesitation that exists when talking with your kids about sex. But here’s the truth: one way or another, your kids WILL learn about sex. The question to ask yourself is, “From where, or what, do you want them to learn?”

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Thank You

My 26-year-old had an issue but is doing well now . . .

My son wrote me a long letter explaining his predicament . . .

A family in our congregation is dealing with this right now . . .

My 31-year-old has had problems. I’m not sure how he’s doing . . .

I just found out my college-aged daughter . . .

I’m raising my grandson who deals with this problem . . .

I heard these comments while attending a conference recently. Some wanted to talk further about the issues their child had or has had with pornography. Some simply mentioned their struggle in passing. A few have children who now walk in freedom from their habit. A few are still in the midst. But all these parents and grandparents followed their initial statement with, “Thank you.”

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Judy Blume Answered Our Questions, Google Answers Theirs

Judy Blume blog post title

“We must—we must—we must increase our bust!” I grew up reading Judy Blume books. This line from Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret is part of my permanent memory. In the book, Margaret learned a lot about herself and hit puberty in the span of 192 pages. She and her friends were determined to look like the girls they saw in Playboy. They vow to do exercises to increase their bust size while chanting this memorable mantra. Throughout the book they each acquire bras and come of age by finally getting their period.

I learned a lot from Judy Blume while coming of age myself.

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Porn Addiction Consequences from One Who’s Been There

Porn Addiction Consequences banner with dominos

I’m grateful to introduce you to Cody Moen. Cody’s story, his childhood and how his porn addiction affected his life, is touching. I love his descriptions, his authenticity and his desire to help parents and trusted adults understand the importance of talking about healthy relationships with their children. Be sure to read to the end for a resource he is passionate about.

I wish…

It’s a common phrase filled with all sorts of meaning depending on the context. Sometimes it’s said wistfully, wishing you were at the beach instead of the office. Other times in anger as someone cuts you off in traffic, wishing you could exact righteous wrath. In some cases, it’s said in sorrow and grief. In my case, it’s the latter circumstance that I say, “I wish…”

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