conversations Archives

March 18, 2024March 15, 2024

How to talk about AI and porn: a guide for parents

I’m thrilled to introduce you to Julia Daniels of Ever Accountable. She’s here to help us understand how to talk about AI and porn with our children. This is a powerhouse article full of fantastic resources.

While Taylor Swift’s deepfake porn debacle on Twitter caught the attention of national and international news, a growing number of similar news stories have been hitting the headlines regularly. In many cases, they involve AI-generated deepfake porn and minors. Parents and teens are alarmed as AI and porn is unleashing deadly dangers – creating a new wave of image based sexual abuse and sextortion. Even the American Academy of Pediatrics recently issued a warning.

What you don’t know about AI-generated porn could blindside you and your family. But clearly naming something dangerous starts destroying its power.

February 6, 2023February 17, 2023

Recent Pornography Statistics and Why They Are Important

When I learned my son was watching pornography I had a difficult time reconciling how this could have happened in my home. As I’ve mentioned in other posts, we were a home-schooling family who taught right from wrong to our children. I assumed my children would make good choices as they matured.

Reading pornography statistics helped me deal with my emotions and what I perceived as inept parenting. Our situation wasn’t an anomaly; rather, it was common. When I learned how prevalent this behavior was, I managed to step outside myself and view this issue from a societal standpoint. Pornography is a public concern.

Last month, Common Sense Media released a report entitled 2022 Teens and Pornography. The 27-page report is a compilation and summary of a survey conducted with 1358 teens age 13 to 17.

July 11, 2022July 1, 2022

Do Girls Actually Watch Pornography?

These amazing ladies caught my eye on Instagram. Their bold messages, desire to see girls set free from porn addiction, and, frankly, their great reels, are superb. Be sure to stop by their IG account and hit follow. I’m so grateful they agreed to talk with us about girls and pornography. I’m sure you’ll find their story and advice invaluable.

Katie and Amanda became best friends in 9th grade when they awkwardly sat next to each other in drama class. A deep friendship quickly formed, and they spent almost every moment together. As close as these friends were, there was one massive secret both of them were keeping: They were secretly battling pornography addictions and wouldn’t tell each other until their freshman year of college.

April 18, 2022April 24, 2022

Vulnerable Conversations Lead to Openness

Being authentic with our children through vulnerable conversations —sharing our stories, our failures, our successes, our hopes, and our fears—bridges the invisible gap between generations. It demonstrates to our children we are fallible, but also resilient.

July 27, 2021July 24, 2021

IDENTIFY THE ROOT ISSUES OF PORN USE

I met Krista when we were both speakers at an online conference for thehopeline last Spring. When I saw her session, I felt the compassion she has for teen girls. She listens to them, equips them, and offers them hope through Girl Above. I asked her to talk with the parents here, and I love how she especially encourages us to look beyond the behavior and identify the root issues of porn use.

If you are a parent in 2021 and have a child over the age of 8 years old, there is a huge chance you are struggling to navigate your child’s exposure to or use of pornography. This does not make you a bad parent; this makes you a 2021 parent. Unfortunately, for the first time in the history of the world, our children carry a free and unlimited drug in their pocket. This drug is internet pornography, and their access to smartphones has made the problem nearly impossible to address. In 2019 there were over 33 trillion views on porn sites. The train has left the station, and parents are now just trying to keep up.

After ten years of working with teens, my best advice for parents is to look WAY beyond the behavior and identify the root issues motivating the behavior. Once you have identified the root causes, become someone with whom your child can have in-depth conversations to address and heal those areas of their life.

December 1, 2020April 14, 2023

How Do We Talk About Pornography?

Until a few years ago, I almost never used the word “pornography” or “porn.” When I found myself needing to refer to it, I whispered and practically choked on the word as it exited my mouth. I didn’t want to talk about pornography.

If I needed to refer to pornographic images, I said “inappropriate pictures” and assumed those around me knew what I meant. Even then, I typically lowered my voice, spoke to the ground, and blushed. I found it uncomfortable.

October 23, 2020November 14, 2023

The Church Can’t Fix Our Children

I recently heard someone say, “Send your child to church. They will quit misbehaving. The youth group leaders will teach them right from wrong.” I wanted to spit out my drink–even though I wasn’t drinking at the time. I managed to swallow my, “Yeah, right!” sarcastic response. But my next thought was: The church can’t fix our children.

January 9, 2020October 1, 2020

The Definition of Pornography or Porn

What is porn? How do you define it? It’s not as clear-cut as you think. What was a known pornographic photo in 1960 is an average marketing image today. When I walk through the mall I’m liable to see photographs similar to those previously seen only in magazines under a bathroom sink. And I don’t even have to go into the store to see them. I am hassled by the retailer through pictures as I walk by the storefront.