Friend Archives - HOPEFUL MOM

June 17, 2024June 18, 2024

Friend or Fan? Dawg or Dog? Which Are You?

I met Ken Anderson a few months ago and instantly knew he was a good guy and would be a great friend—one like he describes in this post. He has a heart for college students who struggle with pornography and has a fabulous program to help them. In this post, Ken helps us parents understand the difference between a dawg (true friend) and a dog (more of a fan). As parents, we want to lean toward being a true friend to our children, rather than a fan. Great words of wisdom.

Pepper is her name and pooping anywhere other than outside is her game. At least that’s been the case lately. I love our 4-year-old pit mix. I, and I alone. (My wife Liz is pretty much out on her.) She’s spunky, cute, funny, and always down to cuddle while I’m watching a show or reading a good book. (I’m still talking about Pepper, just to clarify; although, many of these adjectives also describe Liz). But, she’s also a good ol’ fashioned stinker. She steals food when we aren’t looking, sneaks in licks of our toddler whenever she can (he hates it, and screams), and mischievously takes off with any and all items that aren’t hers and chews them up without any regard for the owner of said item.

June 12, 2023June 5, 2023

Peer Pressure and Finding Your People

Sexpectations: Helping the Next Generation Navigate Healthy Relationships is coming soon. Don’t miss out on the opportunity to help spread the word. As a gift for helping, you get early access to a digital copy of the book and a FREE print book, as well as other gifts. Check out this link for more information and to complete the form to join.

“But all my friends are doing it. . . You don’t understand what today’s culture is like. . . . My friends will be mad if I don’t participate.”

A force parents combat is peer pressure. “Peer pressure is real, and perception is reality. . . The pressure students experience in middle school, high school, and college is colossal and burdensome. They endure ridicule and face being an outcast if they dress incorrectly, don’t respond to texts in a timely manner, or use an improper filter on their social media photos.” (Sexpectations: Helping the Next Generation Navigate Healthy Relationships, p. 40)

April 3, 2023March 28, 2023

Mom, I See You

As a young mom, I wrestled with thoughts that I wasn’t enough. I didn’t purchase the right clothes or decipher my children’s needs correctly. I wasn’t contributing to the household income or spending enough time raising my children. The meals were inadequate and the house wasn’t clean. If I sat with the children to play a game, supper was late. If I spent too much time reading to them, they may not learn necessary life skills. The never-ending tug and pull in my mind. Can you relate? Mom, I see you.

September 26, 2022July 5, 2023

What to Do When You Feel Alone in Your Struggles

The heaviness was too much to bear alone. I needed to relieve the burden, to share the heartache, to transfer the pain.

My husband and I had just learned our son had been watching pornography. Through an hour-long discussion, my son disclosed his indiscretions, revealing news we weren’t prepared for. Although the conversation had ended well, my brain and body were reacting.

The shock was fresh. The injury was raw. The grief was palpable.

July 11, 2022July 1, 2022

Do Girls Actually Watch Pornography?

These amazing ladies caught my eye on Instagram. Their bold messages, desire to see girls set free from porn addiction, and, frankly, their great reels, are superb. Be sure to stop by their IG account and hit follow. I’m so grateful they agreed to talk with us about girls and pornography. I’m sure you’ll find their story and advice invaluable.

Katie and Amanda became best friends in 9th grade when they awkwardly sat next to each other in drama class. A deep friendship quickly formed, and they spent almost every moment together. As close as these friends were, there was one massive secret both of them were keeping: They were secretly battling pornography addictions and wouldn’t tell each other until their freshman year of college.

February 28, 2022October 16, 2023

Four Steps for Parents to Heal from Shame

Our children feel shame when they watch pornography. But do we, as parents, experience shame? I certainly did.

My friend and I sat at my kitchen table drinking coffee.

She took a sip of her coffee and set her cup on the table. “Your children are amazing. You’ve done such a great job raising them.”

Our children were in the backyard hanging out. This fellow homeschool mom and I were close. Shortly after meeting, we quickly knew about each other’s extended family and history. Whenever we got together, the conversation flowed freely from one topic to another without pause. We laughed together and felt each other’s pain when issues surfaced. I was comfortable when I was around her. But I kept a part of my life hidden.

February 8, 2021February 8, 2021

6 Truths to Comfort Hurting Families in a Broken World and a GIVEAWAY!

It’s my privilege to introduce Dena Yohe, award winning author of You Are Not Alone: Hope for Hurting Parents of Troubled Kids. I met Dena at a writers conference and was immediately attracted to her calm, warm demeanor and soothing voice. Dena has been a hurting parent and runs a ministry designed to comfort hurting parents. I’ve learned much from her words of wisdom, and I pray you glean some understanding from her post.

GIVEAWAY – I am giving away Dena’s book! See bottom of post for drawing information.

We live in a broken world full of hurting families. This reality hit hard several years ago when my peaceful Sunday morning was harshly interrupted by tragic news. A mass shooting had occurred the night before at a local downtown night club called The Pulse. 49 people were reported dead, 53 wounded. When I heard about the incidence, I was still reeling from more sad news I’d heard twenty-four hours earlier. Christina Grimmie, a young Christian singer (a recent participant on the television program, The Voice) had been shot and killed by a fan following a performance. My thoughts were immediately drawn to the bereaved parents of all these victims.

August 30, 2020August 30, 2020

Not My Child’s Job to Protect Me

I saw the questioning look in his eyes. I interpreted it as, “Should I tell her? How will she respond?” I had seen that look in his sister’s eyes before, too. It typically appeared when there was something that needed to be said but no one wanted to be the one to upset mom. Someone put a scratch in the floor when they dropped a utensil. A red sock turned the white clothes pink. (Okay, I made that up. We’re not particular about the laundry, and this has never happened to me.) One son backed into the other son’s vehicle. Bad news. Upsetting information. An incriminating tale.

August 1, 2020August 27, 2020

I Get Overwhelmed

holding hands to capture longings being fulfilled

I attended the 2020 Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation Online Global Summit (that’s a mouthful!) last week with 15,000 (Yep!) other attendees. It was eye-opening. I listened to representatives from Covenant Eyes, Protect Young Minds, Fight the New Drug, and Reach 10. I sat through presentations entitled “From Problems to Program: Engaging Parents to Protect Their Kids from the Harms of Pornography,” “Our Kids Online: Porn, Predators, and How to Keep Them Safe,” and “Responding to the Unseen Victims of Sexual Exploitation.” I felt uplifted and ready to fight one moment, only to feel overwhelmed, daunted and ready to hide my head in the sand the next moment.

September 10, 2018September 19, 2020

11 Things To Do When You Discover Your Child is Watching Pornography

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

The purpose of this site is to encourage parents of teenagers/children who watch or have watched pornography. It’s meant to be a safe place to share our emotions and concerns, not necessarily a place to give specific instruction on what to do. I am not an expert on the ins and outs of the pornography industry and how people become addicted to it. However, after walking through it with my son I would like to offer a list of 11 action steps in the hopes I can calm some fears. Sometimes, in the midst of a traumatic experience, it’s helpful to do something. Continue reading “11 Things To Do When You Discover Your Child is Watching Pornography”