Tag: pornography

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Understanding Triggers in Pornography Use

“Why did you make this decision? And why do you keep going back when you know it’s harmful?” Most parents ask these questions when learning about a child’s indiscretions or habitual behavior. We are trying to discern their triggers.

In a previous post, we defined triggers as “anything, as an act or event, that serves as a stimulus and initiates or precipitates a reaction or series of reactions.”[i] In other words, a trigger is an outside stimulus that activates internal turmoil. In that post, we explored triggers parents face after learning of a child’s struggle with pornography.

In this post, we’ll examine the user’s triggers—to watch pornography or run to any type of vice or behavior to seek immediate comfort.

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Do Girls Actually Watch Pornography?

These amazing ladies caught my eye on Instagram. Their bold messages, desire to see girls set free from porn addiction, and, frankly, their great reels, are superb. Be sure to stop by their IG account and hit follow. I’m so grateful they agreed to talk with us about girls and pornography. I’m sure you’ll find their story and advice invaluable.

Katie and Amanda became best friends in 9th grade when they awkwardly sat next to each other in drama class. A deep friendship quickly formed, and they spent almost every moment together. As close as these friends were, there was one massive secret both of them were keeping: They were secretly battling pornography addictions and wouldn’t tell each other until their freshman year of college.

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The Impact of a Parent’s Pornography Use on Children

I’m excited to have Kristin Cary here with us. Kristin is the co-founder of Living Truth, Inc. and she has a message for us on understanding how a parent’s pornography use can impact a child. Kristin and her husband, Michael, have a gift for you—two free guides. See the end of the post for details.

Hi I’m Kristin! I was in full-time ministry when my first marriage ended due to infidelity and sex addiction in 2006. My son was just 10 months old at the time. It felt like the pain would destroy me. Little was understood about sex addiction and betrayal trauma at the time, and I endured a lot of misunderstanding, shame, and blame. I was a single mother for almost five years, working really hard at my recovery during that time. An amazing Christian therapist and a recovery community that had walked similar paths before me were key elements in breathing hope and joy into my life again.

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10 Tips to Difficult Conversations with Teens and Adult Children

I’m thrilled to introduce guest author, Dawn Ward. I met Dawn through a friend. Her website, The Faith to Flourish, is for women with loved ones struggling with addiction, mental health issues and life-destructive behaviors. As a seasoned parent, Dawn has wisdom for us about talking with our teens and adult children.

It’s difficult to talk to our children when the topics of our conversations make one or both parties squirm. I should know. I have raised two sons who struggled with addiction and destructive behaviors when they were teens and young adults. When they were kids, I could get by with a quick, “Because I said so” as an answer to their requests. Once those words came out of my mouth, they knew the discussion was over. End of argument.

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Get Off the Fence: Three Ways to Get Unstuck

I am beyond excited that Marilyn Evans of Parents Aware is here again to offer her words of wisdom to parents. Marilyn is my good friend and mentor. She has taught me so much about pornography and parenting. I love her hopeful attitude. Marilyn recently launched a course for parents, to help them get off the fence and talk with their children about this important topic. Read to the end for my review of the course and how you can find it.

You’re here. That’s amazing! It tells me you already know why it’s important to talk to your child about pornography. I bet you’re also keenly aware this conversation is not a one-time deal.  You’ve figured out that every age and stage of development presents new challenges for your child online. 

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Grief: Processing and Comforting Others

grief broken heart crying title grief: processing and comforting others

How do we comfort those who are grieving? And how do we process our own grief? For many of us, our pulse quickens and our palms sweat when we think about grief—ours or that of someone we know. We dodge the situation as much as possible.

I don’t attend funerals. They’re awkward. I don’t know what to say, and I don’t know how to act. I’m nervous about seeing a dead body, and I’m fearful of tripping over my words while interacting with the family. I assume I’m not comfortable in this situation because I haven’t suffered the death of anyone extremely close to me.

But I have experienced grief.

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GIVEAWAY! + 5 Keys to Parenting in a Pornified World

I recently finished reading The Freedom Fight and was impressed with how the author, Ted Shimer, addresses pornography addiction. The Freedom Fight has developed a thorough program for addressing the issue. I highly recommend reading the extensive book and perusing their website. I was so excited that Andrew, Director of Coaching and Onboarding, agreed to write a post for Difficult Conversations. But I was ecstatic when he offered to also give a book to one of our readers. Be sure to read to the end of the post to find out how you can enter the drawing to win a book.

When speaking with parents, there are two groups I interact with most: parents who have caught their kids watching porn and parents who don’t know their kids are secretly watching it. In today’s world, it is easier for an eleven-year-old with a smartphone to access porn lying in bed than to get a glass of water because getting a glass of water requires them to get out of bed. The reality is porn is pervasive, destructive, and addictive. We, as parents, need to be intentional about having ongoing conversations because if we don’t, the world is happy to fill in the blanks for our kid’s questions.

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Four Steps for Parents to Heal from Shame

lady with head in hands shame

Our children feel shame when they watch pornography. But do we, as parents, experience shame? I certainly did.

My friend and I sat at my kitchen table drinking coffee.

She took a sip of her coffee and set her cup on the table. “Your children are amazing. You’ve done such a great job raising them.”

Our children were in the backyard hanging out. This fellow homeschool mom and I were close. Shortly after meeting, we quickly knew about each other’s extended family and history. Whenever we got together, the conversation flowed freely from one topic to another without pause. We laughed together and felt each other’s pain when issues surfaced. I was comfortable when I was around her. But I kept a part of my life hidden.

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Is My Child at Risk for Online Grooming?

online grooming article cover photo

What is online grooming for sex trafficking? Are our children at risk?  

Why is it important to talk about this subject here at Hopeful Mom? Because the demand for pornography motivates traffickers. Those who watch pornography contribute to human trafficking. And our children are not only potential consumers of pornography, but also potential targets for sex traffickers. Yes, our children and their friends are potential targets.

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