Understanding Archives - Page 8 of 9

October 14, 2020October 14, 2020

5 Reasons to GET LOUD About Porn

I am overly excited to introduce Marilyn Evans of ParentsAware/Media Savvy Moms. Marilyn and I met a few short months ago and immediately hit it off. Like me, Marilyn has a heart for parents navigating the perils of parenting in a tech-saturated world. She is a wealth of information, and I am grateful she stopped by to offer her insight to us! I hope after you read, you will GET LOUD about porn, too. ~ Barb

Hello! It’s nice to meet you. What is it you do again? Oh, thanks for asking. I write and speak about the harms of pornography. (Awkward pause.) Is that weird? Some people think so. But I’ve got five compelling reasons to say it’s not. Care to listen?

October 6, 2020September 19, 2023

Boredom Leads to Porn Use

After learning of my son’s transgressions with porn, I analyzed every angle I could about his issue. The one question I kept asking was “Why?” Of course, there was the obvious. He’s a curious teenage boy with out-of-control hormones. But that only answered the question of why he initially sought porn. The question of what triggered his continuous use still seemed elusive.

August 20, 2020August 20, 2020

Today’s Porn: Not Your Father’s (Grandfather’s) Playboy

My son recently gave me permission to write in my given name, rather than a pen name. I’ve written using a pen name for his comfort. (And, let’s face it, for mine too!) I didn’t want to taint anyone’s view of him . . . or our family. But we are five years into this journey, and our household recognizes the need to rip off that Band-Aid. The topic of pornography has been kept under a lid for too long. If we are to educate and communicate within our circles and community, I need to be free to write in my given name. Still, it’s a bit awkward to have your mom announce to the world your past behaviors, ones that have been kept close within the family for so long. So I applaud his courage and bravery.

March 30, 2020May 24, 2020

Hope During the Coronavirus Quarantine: You Can Do It!

I want to encourage you to stay strong.

Many of us are home with our kids because of the Coronavirus quarantine. Our routines have been turned upside down and our comfort zone has been pierced. One of the biggest questions on my mind (and possibly yours) is: Will this change cause my child to turn back to their addiction?

March 11, 2020May 29, 2020

Steps to Help Your Child with a Pornography Issue

image of two hands - one hand reaching to help the other — Photo by Austin Kehmeier on Unsplash

Parents wonder how much control they should have over their children.

As our kids mature, we should allow them the chance to succeed on their own. However, it is our job to teach, protect, and discipline as needed.

If you are wondering if you should step in and be more involved, more in their space, more controlling after you learn your child has a pornography issue, my answer is “yes.” Of course, stating it in those terms sounds negative, but the manner in which you become more active does not have to be negative. Think of it more in terms of connecting, being engaged, and participating more in your child’s life.

January 9, 2020October 1, 2020

The Definition of Pornography or Porn

What is porn? How do you define it? It’s not as clear-cut as you think. What was a known pornographic photo in 1960 is an average marketing image today. When I walk through the mall I’m liable to see photographs similar to those previously seen only in magazines under a bathroom sink. And I don’t even have to go into the store to see them. I am hassled by the retailer through pictures as I walk by the storefront.

July 31, 2019February 17, 2020

The Most Shocking Statistic About Pornography

Before I found out pornography was in my home, I believed (and I know I’m not alone in this belief) our household was safeguarded from sexting and pornography. I thought my boys knew better, understood our rules, shared our morals and Christian beliefs, and had no interest. I do not hang my head or apologize when I say this. It’s just a fact. I was blind. I was uneducated. I chose not to know or understand. Had I read the statistics, I would have needed to face the truth.

May 21, 2019November 16, 2023

Stages of Grief – Bargaining

In a previous post, I referred to these seven stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance. Recently, I explored these stages more thoroughly and identified the process I walked through when I first heard of my son’s fascination with pornography.

March 28, 2019September 21, 2020

What Keeps You Up At Night?

One night I heard my husband slip out of bed and leave our bedroom at 4 a.m. A few minutes later I got up and opened the door to our room to see what he was doing. He was sitting on the couch with his computer in his lap. I glanced at the screen and saw he was reading email. I wondered why he was up at night.

March 8, 2019March 8, 2019

Small Steps: Self-Discipline and Safety Nets

My son will leave for college in the fall. This thought scares me and makes me proud. He is an amazing young man, and I am proud of his achievements and excited for him to begin adulthood. But I am scared he will slip back into old behaviors without his “Mommy” around to protect him.