Steps to Help Your Child with a Pornography Issue

image of two hands - one hand reaching to help the other
Photo by Austin Kehmeier on Unsplash

Parents wonder how much control they should have over their children.

As our kids mature, we should allow them the chance to succeed on their own. However, it is our job to teach, protect, and discipline as needed.

If you are wondering if you should step in and be more involved, more in their space, more controlling after you learn your child has a pornography issue, my answer is “yes.” Of course, stating it in those terms sounds negative, but the manner in which you become more active does not have to be negative. Think of it more in terms of connecting, being engaged, and participating more in your child’s life.

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The Definition of Pornography or Porn

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

What is porn? How do you define it? It’s not as clear-cut as you think. What was a known pornographic photo in 1960 is an average marketing image today. When I walk through the mall I’m liable to see photographs similar to those previously seen only in magazines under a bathroom sink. And I don’t even have to go into the store to see them. I am hassled by the retailer through pictures as I walk by the storefront.

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The Most Shocking Statistic About Pornography

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Before I found out pornography was in my home, I believed (and I know I’m not alone in this belief) our household was safeguarded from sexting and pornography. I thought my boys knew better, understood our rules, shared our morals and Christian beliefs, and had no interest. I do not hang my head or apologize when I say this. It’s just a fact. I was blind. I was uneducated. I chose not to know or understand. Had I read the statistics, I would have needed to face the truth.

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Porn Users Feel Shame

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I’d like to share a link to an article I read, entitled True Story: My Struggle With Shame Fueled My Struggle With Porn. The organization that published the article, Fight the New Drug, is committed to informing the public about the effects of pornography. This article is written by an 18 year old who struggled with pornography for 6 years. I like the article because his story is relatable and real. As a parent, it is helpful to hear another teenager’s perspective–his struggles and feelings.

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Get Involved with the Fight Against Pornography?

Since discovering my son’s addiction I have wrestled with the question of whether to get involved with the fight against pornography. Or rather, what my response should be to this growing epidemic. There is an X-rated store (Is that what you call it?) three miles from our home. (How these places stay in business with all the online stuff is beyond me.) Every time I pass it, my blood pressure rises, and I pray it will go out of business. Well, on good days, I pray it will go out of business. On bad days, my prayer isn’t that pretty.

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Difficult Conversations: Talk About the Effects of Pornography

I am a mom of four and have been homeschooling for nineteen years. Over the past two decades I have teetered back and forth on whether parents should tell their children about the birds and the bees. And if they do tell them, what age is appropriate to have “the talk”? In Christian circles you will find a myriad of answers on when and how to expose your children to this subject. The spectrum widens in homeschooling circles because, as home school families, we have slightly more control over their environment. But let’s not kid ourselves; no amount of sheltering short of never leaving the house and having zero access to a TV or computer or phone will keep our children from hearing about sex. And if we think we can keep our kiddos from hearing about it, we are only deceiving ourselves. Continue reading “Difficult Conversations: Talk About the Effects of Pornography”