Explaining God’s Design for Sex to Children & Teens

It’s my privilege to introduce John Fort, my guest blogger. I met John at a Safeguard Alliance meeting and love his message and his heart. I read his book Honest Talk: A New Perspective on Talking to Your Kids About Sex and was challenged to have more direct, specific conversations with my children especially regarding God’s design for sex. The feelings charts, conversation guides, and activities in the book are extremely helpful. I love his direct approach and think you will find this post a great resource.

Explaining God’s design for sex to our children can be a scary proposition. Few of us feel confident with the subject, and many fear it may strain our relationship with our child. However, when done with empathy, these conversations usually draw our kids closer to us.

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Pornography in a Pandemic

I saw photos of my daughter and me moving my son out of his dorm room a year ago. They reminded me of the sadness and uncertainty I felt.

As we pass the anniversary of the COVID-19 pandemic declaration and walk through other anniversaries – quarantining, masks, intimate Easter celebrations at home, ordering groceries online, and learning the full meaning of Zoom meetings – it’s only fitting to reflect on how our households have changed in regard to technology and our response to everything online, as well as the dynamics within our homes. How have we grown? How have we regressed? And what about pornography in a pandemic?

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The Fallacy of Neutrality — and a GIVEAWAY!

It’s my pleasure to introduce you to Lisa Frost. I recently read the book she and her husband, Jason, wrote, and was impressed with their extensive knowledge and research. I appreciate their input and insight to today’s digital age and how it affects teens. And, I’m sure you’ll glean some information from the following post. Be sure to read to the end to find out how to enter the drawing to win their book, The Glass Between Us.

“Saying no to porn is not just a choice; it’s a statement of who I am and where I am going.”

Jason Frost

Who turned the gravity up on this generation? I remember when two of my freshmen students, Ben and Jenna, nervously approached my desk. They struggled to find the right words, but they had courage and spoke up. Ben went first, “I told Kerry I didn’t want to see those pictures!” What was he getting at, I wondered? What pictures? Ben stammered, “I really didn’t want to look at them, but it’s so hard when they are right there on my phone.” Kerry had been sending nudes. You could see the weight on Ben’s face. He was deeply burdened. Jenna went on to share that Kerry, their classmate, was not well. She was severely depressed and if things got bleak enough, she told them she had something in her purse to end it all.

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Where is the Village? A Shout-out to Moms in the Digital Parenting Arena

I’m so excited to introduce Melody Bergman. I met Melody about six months ago and was immediately drawn to her beautiful smile and upbeat attitude. Melody is a fellow mom working to fight against pornography and its draw, especially in this new climate of digital parenting. She’s worked in this arena for years and knows her stuff. I love her writing style. I was hooked at the first paragraph of this piece and couldn’t stop reading until the end. I hope you find her words of wisdom encouraging and supportive.

Dim the lights. Here comes Mom, walking into a silent room where everyone’s faces are lit by the glow of little screens. The TV is on, but no one is watching. Handheld devices click and ping through the darkness. Mom starts talking, but no one hears. They are totally absorbed.

Does this sound familiar? 

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Should Your Child’s Porn Use Anger You?

“I keep trying to hold back the anger I’m feeling.” Susan’s lower lip quivered. We sat on my back porch drinking coffee and watching the sunset. This wasn’t the first conversation we’d had about her child’s porn use.

She leaned in and whispered, “I know I shouldn’t be angry.”

I looked her in the eye. “I don’t think that’s true. Of course, you’re angry. That’s a perfectly acceptable response to the situation in your home.”

“Really? You think so?”

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Why Kids Look at Pornography (It’s not their fault)

It’s a privilege to have Chris McKenna from Protect Young Eyes as a guest author. He is my go-to guru on all things tech-y. He loves kids, has an upbeat attitude, and is a walking encyclopedia of knowledge, keeping up with the latest gadgets, devices, and apps available. If you have a question, he has the answer. In this post his answers the question, “Why can’t kids stop clicking?”

This article is printed with permission from Protect Young Eyes.

Parents, this blog post will require around 7 minutes of your time – 7 precious minutes that will give you understanding that you’ve never had about your children. 

Key take-aways: if your child looks at porn, it’s probably not their fault. And if they admit it, give them a high-five. 

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How Do We Talk About Pornography?

Until a few years ago, I almost never used the word “pornography” or “porn.” When I found myself needing to refer to it, I whispered and practically choked on the word as it exited my mouth. I didn’t want to talk about pornography.

If I needed to refer to pornographic images, I said “inappropriate pictures” and assumed those around me knew what I meant. Even then, I typically lowered my voice, spoke to the ground, and blushed. I found it uncomfortable.

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A Safe Rebellion

computer keyboard

I’m excited to introduce Christy Bass Adams. We met recently at a writers conference. When I told her I was writing a book for parents of children struggling with pornography, she said, “I was that kid.” I immediately knew I wanted her to guest post here for us. Even though Christy grew up in a different era, I believe hearing the thoughts and trials of the addicted child is helpful. Christy says her addiction was a safe rebellion. I hope her insight gives us some perspective from the other side so we can be better parents. And, mostly, I hope her recovery as an adult reminds us our children’s stories are not over. They can still heal, even if it’s not in our timing. ~ Barb

A Safe Rebellion

I was 12 years old when I first viewed pornography at a friend’s house. The curiosity only grew from there. A child of the 80’s and 90’s, the internet wasn’t really a thing yet, so late night cable programming, printed material, and email spam were the easy avenues to seek it out. Thankfully I lived in a safe home where my parents monitored TV programming and everything else we did. So it remained only a curiosity for a long time.

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Collin Kartchner of #savethekids Leaves A Timely Message for Parents and Kids

Ouch. My toes have been stepped on. And I hope the pain causes a change in me—and in you.

I read this on Collin Kartchner’s #savethekids website: “Smart phones and social media are the new drug of choice in homes. They hooked parents, disconnected them from their kids, distracted us from who is truly important, and taught us that “likes” = self-worth—and now our kids are modeling us. Kids need our eyes and our love and validation more than ever before. Showing your kids you love them is 2% effort and 98% just putting down your phone.” 

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