Tag: pornography

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Understanding Daughters and Pornography

I am super excited to introduce this guest. Jessica Harris, author of Beggar’s Daughter: From the Rags of Pornography to the Riches of Grace, has an amazing reputation as one of the first women to speak up about her pornography problem – paving the way for other women to come clean. Through her website and speaking engagements, she equips women who struggle with pornography and helps parents of daughters understand this is not just a male issue. I admire Jessica and her willingness to be a leader in this area. I’m sure you will glean some great information from this article.

I first found pornography when I was 13 years old. What started as honest research for school, became a defining moment in my life. As I scrolled through scientific video clips, a dark thumbnail caught my eye. I clicked on it and stared in awe and terror at the scenes of violent hardcore pornography playing in front of me. When I attempted to close the window, more popped up. Within minutes, I was ushered onto a webpage filled with hardcore pornography, and my world forever changed.

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Your Child’s Pornography Use Does Not Define You

I’ve had bad days. Recently I got a flat on the way home from dropping my mom at the airport. I don’t know how to fix a flat or change a tire. Nor do I want to know. Thankfully, the air in the tire let out slowly, the indicator light came on, and we were in a town (although I couldn’t tell you which town, since I was blindly following Google maps). I pulled into a Circle K/Hardee’s combo and searched for a Good Samaritan. Within an hour a knowledgeable and generous gentleman had fixed the flat, and we were back on the road.

As bad days go, this one was mild. A minor bump in the proverbial road. I was grateful I was on my way home from the airport and hadn’t caused anyone to miss a flight. I was also thankful I didn’t need to be anywhere in particular. But I haven’t always maintained a positive outlook when my schedule has been disrupted with these types of inconveniences. I’ve matured with age. I’ve learned not to allow trivial changes in plans to upset my attitude.

A bad day does not define me. A bad day does not define you.

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Learning to Respond Differently to Pornography

I’m privileged to welcome Mandy Majors as a guest author. I love Mandy’s down-to-earth, matter-of-fact, easygoing way of addressing hard topics. She is passionate about creating a culture of open communication and honest conversation in homes, churches and schools to keep kids safe in a digital world – and this attitude is reflected in her podcast and writings. Her popular podcast, nextTalk, is a must-listen for today’s parents.

One morning as we were getting ready for school, my daughter asked a question I wasn’t prepared for. It was highly sexualized. This was not a “where do babies come from” question. I didn’t know this “thing” existed until I was a nineteen-year-old college student. She was NINE!

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Pornography and Sexuality

A few conversations I’ve had recently, along with my last post written by John Fort, caused me to think about my past, my thoughts on sex, and the connection between pornography and sexuality. Is one connected to the other? (Spoiler alert: Yes!) If so, how has pornography affected my views on sex and sexuality, and how does watching pornography affect my child’s views?

Before we can help our children and the choices they face, we need to analyze our views and thoughts on our own sexuality. Understanding our hang-ups and the reasoning behind them, and our current viewpoint and basis for those beliefs help us have clearer, deeper, and honest, albeit difficult, conversations with our children.

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Explaining God’s Design for Sex to Children & Teens

It’s my privilege to introduce John Fort, my guest blogger. I met John at a Safeguard Alliance meeting and love his message and his heart. I read his book Honest Talk: A New Perspective on Talking to Your Kids About Sex and was challenged to have more direct, specific conversations with my children especially regarding God’s design for sex. The feelings charts, conversation guides, and activities in the book are extremely helpful. I love his direct approach and think you will find this post a great resource.

Explaining God’s design for sex to our children can be a scary proposition. Few of us feel confident with the subject, and many fear it may strain our relationship with our child. However, when done with empathy, these conversations usually draw our kids closer to us.

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Pornography in a Pandemic

I saw photos of my daughter and me moving my son out of his dorm room a year ago. They reminded me of the sadness and uncertainty I felt.

As we pass the anniversary of the COVID-19 pandemic declaration and walk through other anniversaries – quarantining, masks, intimate Easter celebrations at home, ordering groceries online, and learning the full meaning of Zoom meetings – it’s only fitting to reflect on how our households have changed in regard to technology and our response to everything online, as well as the dynamics within our homes. How have we grown? How have we regressed? And what about pornography in a pandemic?

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The Fallacy of Neutrality — and a GIVEAWAY!

It’s my pleasure to introduce you to Lisa Frost. I recently read the book she and her husband, Jason, wrote, and was impressed with their extensive knowledge and research. I appreciate their input and insight to today’s digital age and how it affects teens. And, I’m sure you’ll glean some information from the following post. Be sure to read to the end to find out how to enter the drawing to win their book, The Glass Between Us.

“Saying no to porn is not just a choice; it’s a statement of who I am and where I am going.”

Jason Frost

Who turned the gravity up on this generation? I remember when two of my freshmen students, Ben and Jenna, nervously approached my desk. They struggled to find the right words, but they had courage and spoke up. Ben went first, “I told Kerry I didn’t want to see those pictures!” What was he getting at, I wondered? What pictures? Ben stammered, “I really didn’t want to look at them, but it’s so hard when they are right there on my phone.” Kerry had been sending nudes. You could see the weight on Ben’s face. He was deeply burdened. Jenna went on to share that Kerry, their classmate, was not well. She was severely depressed and if things got bleak enough, she told them she had something in her purse to end it all.

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Where is the Village? A Shout-out to Moms in the Digital Parenting Arena

I’m so excited to introduce Melody Bergman. I met Melody about six months ago and was immediately drawn to her beautiful smile and upbeat attitude. Melody is a fellow mom working to fight against pornography and its draw, especially in this new climate of digital parenting. She’s worked in this arena for years and knows her stuff. I love her writing style. I was hooked at the first paragraph of this piece and couldn’t stop reading until the end. I hope you find her words of wisdom encouraging and supportive.

Dim the lights. Here comes Mom, walking into a silent room where everyone’s faces are lit by the glow of little screens. The TV is on, but no one is watching. Handheld devices click and ping through the darkness. Mom starts talking, but no one hears. They are totally absorbed.

Does this sound familiar? 

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Should Your Child’s Porn Use Anger You?

“I keep trying to hold back the anger I’m feeling.” Susan’s lower lip quivered. We sat on my back porch drinking coffee and watching the sunset. This wasn’t the first conversation we’d had about her child’s porn use.

She leaned in and whispered, “I know I shouldn’t be angry.”

I looked her in the eye. “I don’t think that’s true. Of course, you’re angry. That’s a perfectly acceptable response to the situation in your home.”

“Really? You think so?”

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Why Kids Look at Pornography (It’s not their fault)

It’s a privilege to have Chris McKenna from Protect Young Eyes as a guest author. He is my go-to guru on all things tech-y. He loves kids, has an upbeat attitude, and is a walking encyclopedia of knowledge, keeping up with the latest gadgets, devices, and apps available. If you have a question, he has the answer. In this post his answers the question, “Why can’t kids stop clicking?”

This article is printed with permission from Protect Young Eyes.

Parents, this blog post will require around 7 minutes of your time – 7 precious minutes that will give you understanding that you’ve never had about your children. 

Key take-aways: if your child looks at porn, it’s probably not their fault. And if they admit it, give them a high-five. 

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