supporting parents in an online world
Seventeen months after my son’s first confession, he approached us. “Mom, Dad, can I talk to you a minute privately?” Words no parent wants to hear. But they began our journey to live in the light.
He said, “Remember that thing we talked about before? Well, I never really stopped.” What!? Continue reading “Live in the Light of Truth”
The purpose of this site is to encourage parents of teenagers/children who watch or have watched pornography. It’s meant to be a safe place to share our emotions and concerns, not necessarily a place to give specific instruction on what to do. I am not an expert on the ins and outs of the pornography industry and how people become addicted to it. However, after walking through it with my son I would like to offer a list of 11 action steps in the hopes I can calm some fears. Sometimes, in the midst of a traumatic experience, it’s helpful to do something. Continue reading “11 Things To Do When You Discover Your Child is Watching Pornography”
When a baby is born, the doctor cuts the umbilical cord. From that moment on the child is unattached to his parent. He/she is free, so to speak. Most parents immediately attach an imaginary rope from themselves to the child. Continue reading “Parenting: Umbilical Cord to Invisible Rope to Freedom, It’s Hard Work”
When my teenage son first disclosed he was watching pornography, I was shocked–partly because he was my “good” child. Of my four children, he was the only one who had not lied to me or deceived me (so I thought). Continue reading “Betrayal and Lying: As Hurtful As Watching Porn”
My son is addicted to porn.
My son told me he watches pornography.
My son, your son’s friend, has a problem with porn.
None of these statements roll off the tongue. They are not proclamations I want to say out loud . . . ever . . . to anybody. Continue reading “Who Can I Tell?”
Parenting is a big deal. I mean a BIG DEAL! I cannot boast about always handling this role well. I didn’t want to be a parent to begin with. But I am so grateful to be a mom, and I take it seriously. I try to learn from my mistakes, and I think I have grown (dare I say matured) into the position.
My son that deals with porn addiction is not my oldest child; so, while I would say the day he confessed to watching porn is the worst parent-day of my life, I am grateful that before that day I had a few not-so-pleasant mom-moments under my belt. Otherwise I may not have handled the situation as gracefully as I did. Continue reading “Parenting Is A Big Deal”
When I first found out my son was using porn (I am calling it that because it’s an addiction and I think it fits the situation), I would have placed money on the fact that an alien had just abducted me and beamed me from my real life into another dimension. I mean I could not have been more shocked. Continue reading “Good Grief”
The day I learned my son was watching porn, my husband and I were finishing a walk. We had recently moved to a new home and were enjoying the pleasant weather. As we rounded the corner and prepared to cross the busy street to return home, we saw our 14-year-old son standing in our front yard, crying hysterically, jumping up and down, and motioning to us. That moment is etched in my mind, a pivotal moment–the moment my mom-life changed. As my husband and I waited for the traffic to let up so we could cross the street, many thoughts swarmed through our minds. What happened? Was his 12-year old-sister lying in a pool of blood? Had someone broken into our house? Why was he standing there screaming uncontrollably? Continue reading “Gag Me: My Son’s Watching Porn”