I just spoke with the wife of a porn addict. The writing is on the wall. The last chance was the last of the last chances. She can’t take it anymore. The marriage is over. She is sick of the empty promises and lack of desire to choose her over his addiction. She’s exhausted, worn out, done. She’s told him he has a week to get out. Continue reading “What’s A Parent To Do?”
Get Involved with the Fight Against Pornography?
Since discovering my son’s addiction I have wrestled with the question of whether to get involved with the fight against pornography. Or rather, what my response should be to this growing epidemic. There is an X-rated store (Is that what you call it?) three miles from our home. (How these places stay in business with all the online stuff is beyond me.) Every time I pass it, my blood pressure rises, and I pray it will go out of business. Well, on good days, I pray it will go out of business. On bad days, my prayer isn’t that pretty.
Continue reading “Get Involved with the Fight Against Pornography?”Difficult Conversations: Talk About the Effects of Pornography
I am a mom of four and have been homeschooling for nineteen years. Over the past two decades I have teetered back and forth on whether parents should tell their children about the birds and the bees. And if they do tell them, what age is appropriate to have “the talk”? In Christian circles you will find a myriad of answers on when and how to expose your children to this subject. The spectrum widens in homeschooling circles because, as home school families, we have slightly more control over their environment. But let’s not kid ourselves; no amount of sheltering short of never leaving the house and having zero access to a TV or computer or phone will keep our children from hearing about sex. And if we think we can keep our kiddos from hearing about it, we are only deceiving ourselves. Continue reading “Difficult Conversations: Talk About the Effects of Pornography”
Are Our Children Victims?
Our home is a Christian home. We try to adhere to Christian principles. We teach our children right and wrong behavior. We openly tell them not to look at inappropriate photos or videos online.
For example, when I found out one of our older son’s peers had been caught sexting, I flipped out. I sat my older children down and made sure they understood that type of behavior would not be tolerated. They assured me they wouldn’t be involved in anything of the kind. And I believed them. I trusted them. (Although, I’m sure the fact that I was alarmed did not help them see me as someone they could trust.)
Continue reading “Are Our Children Victims?”Live in the Light of Truth
Seventeen months after my son’s first confession, he approached us. “Mom, Dad, can I talk to you a minute privately?” Words no parent wants to hear. But they began our journey to live in the light.
He said, “Remember that thing we talked about before? Well, I never really stopped.” What!? Continue reading “Live in the Light of Truth”
11 Things To Do When You Discover Your Child is Watching Pornography
The purpose of this site is to encourage parents of teenagers/children who watch or have watched pornography. It’s meant to be a safe place to share our emotions and concerns, not necessarily a place to give specific instruction on what to do. I am not an expert on the ins and outs of the pornography industry and how people become addicted to it. However, after walking through it with my son I would like to offer a list of 11 action steps in the hopes I can calm some fears. Sometimes, in the midst of a traumatic experience, it’s helpful to do something. Continue reading “11 Things To Do When You Discover Your Child is Watching Pornography”
Parenting: Umbilical Cord to Invisible Rope to Freedom, It’s Hard Work
When a baby is born, the doctor cuts the umbilical cord. From that moment on the child is unattached to his parent. He/she is free, so to speak. Most parents immediately attach an imaginary rope from themselves to the child. Continue reading “Parenting: Umbilical Cord to Invisible Rope to Freedom, It’s Hard Work”
Betrayal and Lying: As Hurtful As Watching Porn
When my teenage son first disclosed he was watching pornography, I was shocked–partly because he was my “good” child. Of my four children, he was the only one who had not lied to me or deceived me (so I thought). Continue reading “Betrayal and Lying: As Hurtful As Watching Porn”
Who Can I Tell?
My son is addicted to porn.
My son told me he watches pornography.
My son, your son’s friend, has a problem with porn.
None of these statements roll off the tongue. They are not proclamations I want to say out loud . . . ever . . . to anybody. Continue reading “Who Can I Tell?”
Parenting Is A Big Deal
Parenting is a big deal. I mean a BIG DEAL! I cannot boast about always handling this role well. I didn’t want to be a parent to begin with. But I am so grateful to be a mom, and I take it seriously. I try to learn from my mistakes, and I think I have grown (dare I say matured) into the position.
My son that deals with porn addiction is not my oldest child; so, while I would say the day he confessed to watching porn is the worst parent-day of my life, I am grateful that before that day I had a few not-so-pleasant mom-moments under my belt. Otherwise I may not have handled the situation as gracefully as I did. Continue reading “Parenting Is A Big Deal”