Four Steps for Parents to Heal from Shame

lady with head in hands shame

Our children feel shame when they watch pornography. But do we, as parents, experience shame? I certainly did.

My friend and I sat at my kitchen table drinking coffee.

She took a sip of her coffee and set her cup on the table. “Your children are amazing. You’ve done such a great job raising them.”

Our children were in the backyard hanging out. This fellow homeschool mom and I were close. Shortly after meeting, we quickly knew about each other’s extended family and history. Whenever we got together, the conversation flowed freely from one topic to another without pause. We laughed together and felt each other’s pain when issues surfaced. I was comfortable when I was around her. But I kept a part of my life hidden.

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A Teacher’s Perspective

I’m thrilled to introduce Lauren Crews. I asked her to talk with us parents about her observations as a teacher. Wow! I definitely learned a few things. I hope you are enlightened and inspired to keep talking.

As a public-school teacher, I’m in a unique position and privy to behaviors parents often don’t see, and I overhear some startling conversations. The struggle is: What do I do? Do I confront the student? Do I tell the parent? Do I keep it to myself? I would love to share with the parents what I know, but I’m bound to respect the privacy of all my students. I also cannot assume we share the same moral standards, so I am often viewed as a busybody. I also wrestle with privacy issues. To what extent does privacy extend to a child? There’s the rub.

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Is My Child at Risk for Online Grooming?

online grooming article cover photo

What is online grooming for sex trafficking? Are our children at risk?  

Why is it important to talk about this subject here at Hopeful Mom? Because the demand for pornography motivates traffickers. Those who watch pornography contribute to human trafficking. And our children are not only potential consumers of pornography, but also potential targets for sex traffickers. Yes, our children and their friends are potential targets.

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Human Trafficking Awareness: What would you do to protect your loved ones from a predator?

Antoinette Villarreal Human Trafficking Awareness

I’m thrilled to introduce Antoinette Villarreal, creator and host of the InHumane Podcast, HotPie Media, LLC. Antoinette is dynamic and passionate about protecting children from human trafficking. She and I talked on her podcast, and I was inspired and motivated by her zeal. I love her message and vibrant personality. I’m grateful she stopped by during Human Trafficking Awareness Month to chat with us about this tragedy happening in our own backyards.

What would you do to protect your loved ones from a predator? Are there any limits? How would you prepare you and yours to prevent being a target to these monsters? How do we prepare our children and other young people from being forced, coerced, or lured by fraudulent promises?

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Parenting Adult Children: The Magic Age of Eighteen

eighteen year old teen adult child girl

What’s the trick to parenting adult children? Even after two of mine had left home, I still didn’t think I knew the secret.

The summer before my son left for college, I fretted about his wellbeing. Would he make friends? Would he flourish? Would he fail? Would his emotions plummet? Would he fall back into his pornography addiction? Or would he leave that old habit behind? And how involved should I be with his college life?

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Holiday Child Protection

I was immediately attracted to Jessica’s enthusiasm, amazing smile, and upbeat attitude when I met her at the 2021 Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation Online Global Summit. She is an encourager, urging me and others to continue working to make this world a safer place for our children. It’s my privilege to welcome her to Difficult Conversations to talk about child protection online and in-person during the holidays.

For many families globally the holidays are some of the most vulnerable times for children and families. Excitement permeates the atmosphere and charity fills the hearts of many. The joy of the season and the anticipation of joining family and friends causes a false sense of safety, leaving children exposed to predators and child sexual abuse material.

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How to Protect Your Kids Online with Holistic Online Safety

We are privileged to welcome Fareedah Shaheed, also known as CyberFareedah, to Difficult Conversations. I met her at the NCOSE Summit this past summer and was immediately drawn in by her smile and upbeat personality. Fareedah approaches online safety from a positive perspective, helping parents get over the scary parts. Be sure to check out her Safe Kids Movement website.

Protecting your kids online can be a daunting task. And the rise of online crimes against children makes everything even scarier. But with the rise in fear comes a rise of hope. And to truly protect your kids online you’ll need a lot of hope, love, and patience.

This is why I believe in holistic online safety. Holistic online safety means giving your kids the freedom that they want and the safety and security that they need. Holistic online safety is the foundation of fully protecting your kids online without losing your sanity or peace. In fact, the whole premise is to make it easier for you and your kids to maintain online safety while also cultivating a beautiful relationship with each other.

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Responding to Porn Use: Love, Not Shame

I grew up thinking people who watched pornography were shady characters. They were the ones slipping in the back door of the video store—the creepy people who couldn’t control their urges. I’m not sure where these thoughts came from, but I’m not alone. The culture is changing, but until a few years ago this picture was a good representation of how most of society saw the use of pornography, especially those who watched alone.

This stigma contributes to our regretful feedback as parents when we learn of our child’s relationship with pornography.

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This Boy Is Me: Smith Alley’s Story

I am overly excited to introduce Smith Alley, a high school student boldly talking about the effects of pornography and social media on youth today. I asked Smith Alley to write a guest post because I believe it’s vital we understand what our children are facing. His willingness to self-identify as someone who struggled with porn at a young age is courageous and inspiring.

I have a product that will make you happier than the day before. Day in and day out without fail. Are you interested? I hate to tell you this product isn’t something you can add into your Amazon shopping cart with one click. It won’t be found at your local grocery store and isn’t even sold at the largest of Costco’s.

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Why Educate Your Child About Porn?

Gone are the days of taking the silent approach. Parents can no longer afford to wait to educate their children about sex and pornography. They can’t rely on peers or nature to do the job for them.

What I’ve learned while researching the effects of technology on our children and their brains is mind-blowing. The world they live in is nothing like yesteryear. This fact is neither positive nor negative. It just is.

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