Who has time for self-care when their child is struggling? As parents, we tend to put everyone else first, neglecting our own well-being. We take on guilt and lose our individuality. We assume we’ll have time to take care of ourselves after the crisis has passed. But while we’re frantically patching up the problems on the outside, our insides are deteriorating.
This week, I join Marilyn Evans at ParentsAward/Media Savvy Mom on a podcast to talk about the importance of self-care, especially when our child is in a crisis. Head over to the podcast here and listen to us discuss the importance of self-care. The show notes are listed below to give you a taste of what you’ll learn.
A few months after Barb learned of her son’s porn addiction, she realized she was grieving the loss of the son she thought she knew, and she heeded the advice she had given so many other women. Take time to mourn the loss and heal. We are more effective when we parent our children from a place of wholeness.
The Importance of Self-Care
Our bodies are like machines. When one area of life is unhealthy, it affects the other areas of life. They are interconnected and dependent on each other.
We talk about some areas and the importance of self-care in each:
- Physical Self-Care. All of us experienced a loss in 2020. And maybe, like Marilyn, your physical self-care suffered. We know it’s important to eat well, get proper sleep, and exercise, but how do we make sure it’s happening during a pandemic or when a child is in crisis? We have a few hacks that may be helpful.
- Spiritual Self-Care. How do we cut through the noise of life on a daily basis for inspiration to be the best we can be? The answer differs for each of us, but it’s important to look up from our to-do lists and nourish our souls. We offer a few thoughts and suggestions.
- Social Self-Care. Maybe, like Barb, you’ve felt alone in your parenting endeavors and you need someone to tell you you aren’t crazy. We encourage you to find a confidante, as well as a community of like-minded people, a place where you care share each other’s burdens. That’s why we began ParentsAware/Media Savvy Moms and hopefulmom.net.
- Have Fun! Social self-care also includes socially connecting with others, like a spouse or girlfriends, for some joyful moments. It’s healing to lay our worries aside and choose joy and fun. We recommend a few ways to connect with your child apart from the struggle.
It’s never too late to start taking care of yourself. We’re better parents when we understand the importance of self-care and all areas of life are functioning well.
Challenge: Take an inventory. Look at each area of life (physical, spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and social) and evaluate how you are doing in each area using a scale of 1-10. Then pick one or two areas and set a few short-term goals and a few long-term goals in those areas.
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About the author
Barb Winters is the author of Sexpectations: Helping the Next Generation Navigate Healthy Relationships and founder of Hopeful Mom. She’s a certified mental health coach and offers one-on-one consultations for parents. For more about Barb, click "About" in the menu.
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